Taking Charge
by hardly loquacious
Summary: How to woo a woman as stubborn as Teresa Lisbon  once you finally manage to admit to yourself that you want to? Simple. Make her think she's the one doing the wooing.  Written for hetbigbang.
1. Step 1: Realize that you want her

A/N**:** Well, hetbigbang went live this weekend, so I can finally post the story I wrote for it. It is a multiparter, and I'll be posting a part a day for the next two weeks. Hope you guys enjoy it. It was tremendous fun to write. Thanks so much to yaba for betaing!

**Taking Charge**

**OR**

**How to woo a woman as stubborn as Teresa Lisbon**

****xx

**1. Step One: Realize that you want her in the first place.**

"So, have you ever thought about dating again?"

Patrick Jane's eyes popped open to stare at the woman currently standing over him.

"Excuse me?" he asked in shock. The question may have been asked of him once before, but the repetition didn't make the query any less surprising.

Madeleine Hightower grinned. She did so love shocking the normally composed man off of his equilibrium from time to time. "Dating," she repeated calmly (though her eyes were twinkling). "Have you ever thought about dating again? You know, where two people go out, maybe enjoy a meal, maybe an outing, hopefully each other's company?"

Jane sat up, running a hand through his hair and tried to collect his thoughts. It was ridiculously unfair of the woman to sneak up on him like this. And she was the only woman of his acquaintance who'd have dreamed of asking him _that_ question once, let alone twice. He decided to try and deflect it, "Why Madeleine, this is all so sudden. I had no idea..."

"None of that, Patrick," the head of the CBI admonished lightly. "You know what I mean, and it was just a question. You don't _have_ to answer it."

Jane knew the superior lilt to her voice was code for "chicken" if he did decide to keep his own counsel on the subject. "I hadn't _not _thought of not dating," he explained eventually, wondering why his boss saw fit to periodically ask him about his love life. He knew what, or rather _who_, had precipitated the question the first time. However, he had no idea what the proximate cause of the query was this time. He ransacked his brain; he hadn't crossed paths with any likely romantic candidates in the last few weeks to prompt Madeleine's curiosity. He didn't think he had at least.

"But you also haven't actively considered it," Madeleine clarified.

"I suppose not," Jane admitted.

The other woman sighed. "It's been months since Red John's death, Jane," she reminded him.

"Oh, so I should just move on then?" Jane asked, sarcastically.

"That wasn't what I meant and you know it," Madeleine rebuked a little sharply.

"Then why did you ask me?" Jane wondered.

"I can't just want to see you happy?" his boss asked She'd expected more of a change from Patrick Jane since the serial killer's death, and his apparent stasis in some areas worried her. Sometimes she wasn't sure it had all quite sunk in. After all, there'd been so many false alarms where Red John and his minions were concerned.

Jane raised his eyebrows.

"And I just like seeing that look of panic that flashes across your face," Hightower admitted, shrugging off her moment of seriousness. "Sometimes you need a little bit of shaking up."

Jane blinked at her in shock. "Well, Madeleine," he drawled eventually. "I certainly can't promise to hit the Sacramento dating scene just to please _you._"

"It might be good for you," Hightower reminded him, stifling a chuckle at the image of Jane in a suit with oversized lapels, fedora perched rakishly over one eye, lurking outside the local bars, out on the prowl.

"Maybe I just haven't met the right woman," Jane suggested smoothly.

"You can't meet the right woman if you're not even open to the possibility," Hightower countered.

"True," Jane admitted. "Although, now that we're on the subject, how is _your_ love life going these days Madeleine? With the hours you work I'd imagine raising two children and maintaining a social life might be difficult. But it's important to still put yourself out there, you know."

"Alright Jane," Hightower conceded. "You've made your point."

Jane nodded. "Did you need anything?" he asked. "Or were you just on a trip to surprise me with unexpected questions?"

Hightower smirked. "That was just a side-benefit. I was actually looking for Lisbon. Have you seen her?"

Jane nodded. "She just went downstairs to drop something off with forensics. She should be back any minute now."

"Alright," Madeleine said. "That's fine. I'll just wait here then."

With that the Director walked over and sat down in the empty chair next to Rigsby's desk, clearly not intending to continue their conversation.

Jane lay back on his couch, trying to relax. "A wise decision," he told her, his mind unfortunately fixed on her original question even if he'd finally succeeded in distracting her from it. Had he ever thought about dating again? Truthfully, no. Well, not really. He'd always said he'd move on after Red John was out of the picture. And Red John _was_ out of the picture (the real Red John this time), thanks to a high speed car chase down the streets of Sacramento, streets slippery in the rain, darkness and glare, and a conveniently placed traffic light. Well, convenient for them. Inconvenient for the serial killer they'd been pursuing.

The team had slowly been dismantling Red John's organization piece by piece. The final confrontation ending because of concrete pole seemed oddly anticlimactic, but there was little anyone could do about that, least of all Jane.

Still, Jane hadn't really thought about dating since then. He'd been too busy trying to get his own head on straight, not the easiest thing in the world all things considered. He would have been a truly _terrible_ date at any point during the last few months. Or if not terrible, completely fake because he would have been playing a part from the appetizers straight through dessert.

Madeleine was just trying to stir up trouble, probably for her own amusement. The idea of dating right now was just silly.

Even if he'd wanted to.

After all, how could he think of dating, really?

First of all, there was the problem of meeting someone. He'd become a bit of a loner over the past decade (at least that was Lisbon's word for it, Jane would have preferred _solitary_; it lent more of an air of elegance to his predicament, less of an atmosphere of desperation). The idea of jumping headfirst into some sort of regular social schedule again made him uneasy at best.

But if he wanted to meet someone he'd have to change his routine. Unless he was planning on meeting them at his local grocery store, or at work. And forget barhopping. That had never been his style. But nor did he feel quite ready to be attending cooking classes, or poetry readings, or whatever else one typically did to meet women nowadays.

Jane settled into the comfort of his couch, the familiar cushions reassuring him that he was not required to go out seeking a romantic partner, and no one, not even Madeleine Hightower, could make him. He was perfectly comfortable where he was.

Besides, even if the problem of where to meet someone was solved, who on earth would he have anything in common with anymore?

He'd spent the last decade on a rather singular quest for revenge. It didn't exactly make for good small talk on a first date. He could just imagine the conversation.

"_Yes, I'm a teacher. I teach third grade. The kids alternate between being angels and devils. But I love it and I wouldn't do anything else. And what do you do Patrick?" _

"_I'm a consultant for the CBI."_

"_The what?"_

"_The California Bureau of Investigation."_

"_Oh right. That must be interesting. You must have seen a lot working there."_

"_I have. Actually, I've spent the past decade trying to kill the man who murdered my family. Try these potatoes. They're to die for."_

Okay, so it wouldn't be that bad. He could probably avoid bringing up serial killers on the first date, or at least wait until after dessert. But that wasn't really the point. Red John _had_ to come up sometime, along with his family. Eventually explanations would be required, and how could a regular person, someone untouched by the world he'd been living in for years, possibly understand any of it? No matter how much closure Jane managed to get, how could someone else cope with any of the things he'd had to come to terms with it? And did he have the right to thrust his darkness onto anyone?

Really, what kind of woman could possibly understand what he'd been through?

She'd have to be something exceptional. Strong, understanding, kind, and preferably with a bit of darkness of her own to even the score. And she'd have to be able to deal with _him_, something Jane was well aware was not an easy task. He was also well aware that whoever she was, she'd be hard to find.

His not-so-romantic musings were suddenly interrupted by the sound of Lisbon's footsteps entering the bullpen.

Jane was grateful for the distraction. In another minute, Madeleine would undoubtedly have grown tired of the silence and decided to instigate conversation again. Not a problem normally, but he had no desire to return to the previous topic up for discussion. Besides, the director's mere presence in the bullpen was still acting as a reminder of her impish question.

Lisbon always had had impeccable timing. _She'd_ save him from Madeleine's curiosity.

"Jane," she said walking into the bullpen, obviously about to ask him a question. That was when she realized Jane wasn't alone. "Ma'am?" she asked, sounding both surprised and amused.

Madeleine stood with a grin. "He's not asleep," she informed Lisbon, answering an unasked question.

"He rarely is," Lisbon agreed. "But why are the two of you sitting in silence then?"

"I wanted to talk to you," Hightower explained. "And I think Patrick is still feeling a bit put out about a question I asked earlier, so I decided waiting quietly might be best."

"Oh?" Lisbon asked curiously.

Hightower just smiled.

"You know," Jane said, speaking for the first time. After all, Lisbon wasn't distracting Madeleine in quite the way he'd hoped. "Much as I'm enjoying this show of female bonding at my expense, since you both know that I'm awake, you _could_ speak to me directly instead of just talking about me while I'm in the room."

"That assumes you'd answer the question," Lisbon replied easily. "Doubtful at best, even more unlikely if you didn't like the subject the first time around."

"I asked a casual question about his love life," Hightower clarified. "Now he's sulking."

Lisbon laughed.

Jane found he wasn't as irritated by her amusement as he'd been by Hightower's. "I'm not sulking," he insisted.

"Brooding then, if you prefer," Hightower corrected.

"I was just finishing my nap," Jane insisted firmly. "Now that I'm well rested, I'm at your service."

"I don't recall saying that I needed _you,_" Hightower reminded him. "Just that I wanted to talk to Lisbon."

"Madeleine, I'm hurt," Jane said with a grin, deciding to take the opportunity to get up and stretch. Even if the women didn't need him he was going to get some tea.

"If you want to help with the unit's annual budget reports you're more than welcome to join us," Hightower assured him.

Jane gave an exaggerated shake of his head. "No thanks, I'll leave you ladies to it."

Lisbon rolled her eyes at him. But she grinned when he caught her eye.

"Why don't we discuss the budget in my office," she offered.

Hightower evidently agreed. Jane fell in step with the two women on their way to Lisbon's office. They both looked at him in surprise.

"I'm getting tea," he explained defensively.

That earned him a friendly pat on his arm from his immediate supervisor. "There's a new box of earl grey in the cupboard," Lisbon informed him.

Jane grinned. In other words she'd bought it for him. Or at least ensured that someone else had. Lisbon was considerate like that; she usually remembered the little things. Though she'd die of embarrassment if you called her on it. Didn't like to be thanked. Jane always made a point of thanking her more than she'd like. After all, embarrassment was an attractive look on her; she was so endearingly awkward.

Of course most looks were attractive on Teresa Lisbon. She was an attractive woman. Petite, fiery, subtle, strong.

And a woman of near-infinite patience where he was concerned. In all the years he'd known her, they'd worked fairly harmoniously together all things considered, with a few notable exceptions. But they'd moved past their difficulties (though there had been times when he'd almost despaired of it). When it came right down to it, their continued friendship was probably due more to her than to him (though there'd been at least once when he'd been the one to persist, one of the times he'd almost despaired). Lisbon was persistent, and she could deal with almost anything he threw at her. Really, the woman probably knew him better than anyone else on the planet. She'd seen him through the worst after all, his worst.

Jane was well aware that he didn't deserve her. Didn't deserve her at all, and never had. But she never seemed to call him on that.

And he trusted her.

Maybe that was why he didn't mind so much when _she _teased.

He glanced over at her affectionately, as she started discussing the particulars of the budget with Madeleine, giving him a distracted sort of a wave when they parted ways at her office door. Jane watched her surreptitiously for a little longer through her office's glass walls. Tea could wait another minute or so.

Because she really was lovely. She was a good six inches shorter than her boss, but Lisbon still commanded attention. He wondered when she'd learned the unconscious air of authority. Probably about the same time she'd acquired her quiet grace (although that probably came from her adolescent athletic endeavours).

He'd always liked watching her move, especially when she didn't know he was doing it.

Right now the two women in the office were far too busy saving the world (or maybe just the Serious Crimes Unit) to pay him any mind.

Jane felt himself smile as he watched Lisbon push a strand of hair behind her ear awkwardly. No doubt Madeleine had complimented her on something or other. And from Jane's vantage point he could see the resultant faint blush on Lisbon's cheeks and the flash of pleasure in her eyes.

From where he was standing, he had a perfect view of her face, and those ever-so-expressive eyes.

Actually, her eyes weren't the only ones he had a clear view of. Thanks to the reflection in the glass walls, he could also see his own eyes, watching her.

And so he could see(quite clearly) that his pupils were dilated.

_Very_ dilated.

Well that was unexpected.

Now he _really_ needed that tea.

xxxxx


	2. Step 2: Develop a plan of attack

A/N: Glad people are liking this so much! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and here's chapter 2!

xxxxx

**2. Step Two: Develop a plan of attack**

xxxxx

He wanted her.

He _wanted_ her.

_He_, Patrick Jane, wanted _her_, Teresa Lisbon.

Oh for Pete's sake.

It was ridiculous.

It was insanity.

It was... it was some other adjective for 'not good'.

So why was he now feeling something akin to anticipation? Maybe even exhilaration? A strange exhilaration of course, but exhilaration nonetheless.

Jane highly doubted this was what Madeleine had in mind when she'd asked him if he'd ever considered dating again.

Not that he was considering dating Lisbon.

_That_ idea was even more absurd than simply wanting her.

Jane shook his head and began preparing his tea. He needed to put these foolish ideas out of his head immediately.

Just because he happened to be attracted to her, had _maybe_ thrown a few covetous glances in her direction, or once in a while experienced an automatic male response to a beautiful woman, didn't mean he wanted to take her out to dinner and a movie next Friday night.

Dinner and a movie was such a cliché after all.

Which _really_ wasn't the issue he should be focussing on _at all_.

The issue was that he couldn't just go and ask Teresa Lisbon out on a _date._

Wait... No, that wasn't the issue either. The issue was that he _shouldn't_ just go and ask Teresa Lisbon out on a date, horribly unimaginative way of going about things after all. Or, well, no. It was that asking Teresa Lisbon out on a date was a completely moot point one way or another.

Yes. _That_ was it. Because she wouldn't want to date him. And they were colleagues, not sweethearts.

Even if he wanted to ask her... which he didn't.

She was pretty though. And smart. And strong. And she helpfully already knew about his past. _And_ he'd become rather fond of the way she had of smirking at him sideways, especially since, again, she really was quite pretty.

Lovely eyes had Lisbon.

Jane could almost picture them twinkling at him across the table, while she teased him mercilessly, possibly about how ludicrous it was that after ten years he'd decided to ask her to dinner.

Oh damn it. Damn it all to hell. He _did _want to date her. And he really _was_ thinking about spending his evenings with her. Not only that, his imagination had apparently decided it was a good thing.

_Maybe._

Jane resisted the urge to curse repeatedly and eloquently.

He took a deep breath.

Okay, for the sake of argument, assuming he _did_ want to ask Lisbon out on a date (and Jane wasn't quite ready to concede that point yet), he couldn't just walk up to her and ask her out to dinner.

He'd known the woman for close to a decade now.

She knew him. _Really well_, he couldn't help mentally adding (as he fished the new package of earl grey that she'd procured for him from somewhere out of the cupboard). Yes, Teresa Lisbon knew his habits better than anyone else.

But that was irrelevant. Even _if_ she did know him, and even _if_ she agreed to go to dinner, she wouldn't realize what he meant by the invitation, and if she _did_, there was no guarantee she'd say yes.

Jane wasn't willing to admit even the possibility that she'd say no (a fact which said more than he'd like about the pesky issue of his own investment in getting Lisbon to date him – an issue he was still intent on ignoring).

While simply pestering Lisbon until she agreed to go to dinner was always a possibility, it wasn't one he was fond of.

For a start, it wasn't particularly romantic.

Teresa Lisbon deserved a little romance.

That much was obvious, at least to Jane. The woman wanted to be taken out and treated like a princess. It was just like her secret, buried dream of being a bridesmaid and being the belle of the ball in a pretty party dress. Jane knew the fact that Lisbon was a closet romantic would work in his favour. After all, he'd be the _perfect_ person to take her out and escort her around town. He was loads of fun. Annoying as the consultant knew he was, he also knew how to show a woman a good evening. Besides, he enjoyed Lisbon's company. He wouldn't be intimidated by the occasionally prickly exterior (he _liked _it; it was adorable). Actually, he'd positively dote on her, if she'd let him.

Jane frowned.

Since when had he given the idea so much thought? None of his thoughts felt particularly _new_. He felt like these were things he'd already considered and known about for years now. He just hadn't ever put them all together.

Which meant...

Oh crap.

Jane leaned his head against the cupboard in the break room in defeat. He _did_ want this. Really, _really_ wanted it. It had suddenly become quite important to him.

_So now what?_

_Now_ he desperately needed a plan.

Jane carried his freshly brewed tea back to his couch slowly. He needed to be careful about this.

First of all, what exactly did he want here?

Well, on the surface that was answered easily enough. He wanted Lisbon. His pupils dilating in her direction had told him that, or at least made him aware of the fact. And judging by the ten minute long mental argument he'd just finished having with himself it was also equally clear that he wasn't looking to simply lure her into bed for a quick tumble (enjoyable as it would undoubtedly have been).

No, he'd been considering what it would be like to spend his evenings squiring Agent Teresa Lisbon around Sacramento and the surrounding area. Before Jane went any further with that train of thought, he decided it would probably be wise to make sure that the idea of dating Lisbon hadn't just come about because he'd happened to coincidentally realize he coveted her on the same day Madeleine had decided to tease him about his non-existent love life.

Jane's brain immediately began supplying him with images of him and Lisbon doing any number of traditional and not-so-traditional couple-type activities. Going out to the theatre, strolling through the park, cooking together (okay, maybe he'd cook and she'd watch), window-shopping on a Saturday afternoon, and yes, even the traditional dinner and a movie. The visuals were all undeniably positive. Obviously reality wouldn't be nearly as idyllic as an overactive imagination, but surely his fantasy was at least _partly_ accurate. Because it suddenly struck him that the simple truth was he wanted to spend time with her.

He was lonely.

And he liked Lisbon's company better than anyone else's.

Add that to his attraction to her, and dating sounded almost _logical_.

True, he may never have thought of it, or at least not so quickly, had it not been for Madeleine's impish question. But it seemed her question, rather than suggesting a completely foreign idea to him, had simply made him aware of a pre-existing want.

Okay. Jane thought, taking a deep breath.

He wanted to spend some personal time with Teresa Lisbon. A little surprising, but he was getting used to the idea.

He liked it.

So how make it happen?

How to achieve the images his mind had conjured up? The two of them sitting at a corner table on a patio, eating ice cream. Lisbon curled up in against his side as the two of them watched movies together (the old movies she loved so much but sometimes pretended not to). Maybe even dancing. Jane's mind was coming up with examples of this potential relationship at a breakneck pace, but wasn't exactly providing the way of getting there.

Options. He needed options.

Well, he could always ask her out to dinner.

But that was problematic, for the reasons he'd already explored. Lisbon wouldn't know what he was doing. She might say no.

Also it was trite.

Not so much fun.

Now that Jane was warming up to the idea of spending time with Lisbon, he was anticipating getting more than a little fun out of it. It'd been so long since he'd seriously pursued someone that he was quite looking forward to the challenge.

And Teresa Lisbon, bless her, was going to be a challenge.

The woman was stubborn, suspicious, and strong-minded.

Jane rather doubted that she'd like being pursued. Lisbon liked being in charge of things. She liked casual relationships because they gave her more control. She certainly wouldn't like any implication that he'd developed an extensive (and hopefully foolproof) plan to woo her. She'd feel boxed in.

Except that he _needed_ an extensive foolproof plan to woo her. Because he wouldn't admit the possibility of defeat.

Jane didn't like losing at the best of times; he definitely wasn't losing her.

Therein lay his conundrum. Lisbon wouldn't allow him to dictate terms, and he wasn't willing to cede his goal.

Especially since Lisbon might be disinclined to date him. She might consider him too risky a romantic partner. Who could blame her for that? He wasn't the most stable of romantic prospects. He wasn't a particularly nice person a lot of the time. He was manipulative and damaged and dark (though he was working on those last ones). Lisbon would do far better to find herself someone safe. Except that Lisbon didn't seem to be inclined to do that.

She didn't seem to be fond of traditional relationships. Jane wished he had some idea how she felt about _him_. He considered asking Van Pelt. After all, weren't women supposed to talk? Except that given Lisbon's opinions about leadership and position and setting an example, not to mention her temperament, he'd probably have more luck asking Madeleine. The two women had gotten rather close, in their way. But there was no way he was asking Madeleine Hightower anything about this. The woman poked her nose into his personal life too much as it was.

No, Jane would need to ascertain Lisbon's feelings on the subject himself. He allowed himself to think that she may have experienced flashes of physical attraction in his direction from time to time. He wasn't a bad looking man, and they worked closely together. For her to feel absolutely nothing would have been strange. She was certainly never overpowered by the sensation. But Jane refused to let that faze him. After all, if Lisbon _did_ have any kind of romantic feelings for him of any kind then, between his past and her personality, she'd have buried them deep. So deep that she may not even be aware of them. Lisbon could be good at denial when she wanted be. Especially when it came to emotional issues, particularly her own.

So there was a chance Lisbon wasn't indifferent to him. She just didn't know it. Just like he hadn't known he wanted her until Madeleine had asked a rather fateful question.

Which meant that Jane just needed to figure out a way to get Lisbon to examine her feelings for him, just as he'd been forced to examine his for her.

After all, convincing Lisbon to date him would be considerably easier if he could somehow seduce her into wanting him too.

Or maybe he didn't even have to do anything that drastic. _Maybe_ he could ease her into it.

Jane'd been convinced that dating her was a good idea by the mere idea of having her companionship. By the same token, if he could somehow show Lisbon the benefits of said companionship, she'd undoubtedly come around more quickly.

Right?

Of course!

Which meant that he needed to convince her to go on an outing with him (best not to refer to it as a date, might jinx it), so she could experience the companionship firsthand.

But that plan had Jane somehow getting her out on an outing to convince her that going on said outing, and any similar outings, was a good idea.

It was a vicious circle in which he still had no idea how to get her on the first outing to begin it all.

Jane scowled into his teacup as he walked back to his couch.

This wasn't going to be as easy as he thought.

After all, a charm offensive wouldn't work with Lisbon. Quite the opposite, in that it would make her suspicious. Jane wasn't convinced enough of her feelings towards him to risk a straight-up seduction and hope it lead back to a relationship. Especially since she might just beat the crap out of him if he tried it.

Jane scowled again. He manipulated and trapped criminals for a living. Surely he could come up with a plan to increase his odds of Lisbon agreeing to date him.

"You okay Jane?" he heard a familiar voice ask.

He turned towards her. "Lisbon!" he said in surprise and a little bit of panic.

She turned towards him, amused by his reaction. It wasn't often that she knocked Jane off balance so any time it happened was always a bit of a pleasant surprise. "Yes," she said, her tone teasingly patronizing. "Who else would you expect it to be?"

"No one," Jane insisted, ordering himself to calm down. "I wasn't really expecting anyone. It's a bit quiet today."

"That's because it's Saturday," Lisbon explained slowly in the same tone of voice.

Jane rolled his eyes, her familiar teasing putting him more at ease. "Yes, I know that Lisbon. I am aware of the days of the week."

"Sometimes I wonder," she murmured.

"Hey!"

"What are you doing here anyway?" she asked him curiously. "We've already established that it's a Saturday. The team's not on duty."

"You're here," Jane reminded her, sending her a friendly smile as he angled himself closer to her.

Lisbon smiled back. "True," she agreed. "But I had a meeting with Hightower. _You_ didn't need to come in at all."

Jane shrugged. It wasn't like he had the busiest social calendar in the world. Besides, he'd heard her mention her meeting to Rigsby the day before, and he'd been hoping to drag her out to lunch. It'd be more interesting than anything else he might have done alone in his apartment. Okay, how was he just coming around to the idea of dating Lisbon _now?_ Geez, his own blindness was a bit of a blow to his faith in his own powers of perception. Jane cleared his throat, "Thought you might need me," he told her airily, with what he considered a charming smile.

She glared at him.

It was cute. Jane continued to grin at her. "And I didn't have anything else to do," he admitted. "Unsurprisingly."

Lisbon softened immediately. "Jane," she said gently, dropping onto the couch beside him.

"I'm fine Lisbon," he said firmly, running a reassuring finger along her elbow.

"You sure?" she asked, her eyes full of sudden concern.

He froze. Why was she asking if something was wrong? She hadn't done it as much since Red John ran a car into a pole. Maybe she thought Jane didn't need it. He wasn't _acting_ any differently was he? She'd surprised him with her sudden appearance, and he'd been thinking about her, and... And Lisbon was very perceptive. He wasn't quite ready to have her figure out his plans yet. He had things to work out still.

"Jane?" she asked again with a little chuckle. He was up to something. He'd just gone the closest to a deer in headlights that she'd ever seen him. "What's going on? Whatever it is you can tell me."

Jane's eyes crinkled. _Of course_. She was just concerned. His lovely, lovely, Lisbon. Always so considerate. "Want to go to lunch?" he asked playfully, dodging the question.

"You going to tell me what's going on?" she asked, eyebrows raised.

"I don't know what you're talking about, dear," he told her, standing up and offering her a hand with another beaming smile.

"You're acting strangely," Lisbon said dryly.

"I can assure you, Lisbon," Jane told her as he helped her up, nimbly sidestepping her question. "That nothing is wrong. Quite the opposite actually."

"Really?" she asked sceptically.

"A person can't just be in a good mood?" he double-checked.

"Well, yes..." she admitted with a self-conscious smile.

"There we go!" Jane said exuberantly. Lunch would be so much better if she was in a good mood. They could go to lunch and he could formulate a plan to ensure that similar meetings happened with increasing frequency. "You see Lisbon, there is this thing called relaxation. It generally happens away from _work_, which I know might be a difficult concept for you to grasp..."

She smacked him in the side. "You're the one who came in on a Saturday when you didn't need to."

"And now you get the pleasure of my company for lunch," he reminded her brightly. "Something which your attitude is making me think that you don't _want..."_ he trailed off. What if she _didn't_ want it? What if she was just humouring him or worse, taking pity on him?

Lisbon turned concerned eyes up towards him and slipped an arm through his. "I'd love to go to lunch with you Jane," she assured him.

Jane met those eyes. How had he never noticed how pretty she was again? "Thank you, Lisbon," he said sincerely.

He thought he caught a faint trace of a blush on her cheeks before she grinned impishly. "Especially if you're paying," she added.

To Lisbon's surprise, instead of looking put upon by the fact that she'd basically just coerced him into buying her lunch, Jane beamed triumphantly. "Of course," he assured her. "Come along, dear."

Lisbon shook her head indulgently, but let him lead her out of the office.

Jane was practically bouncing on his way to lunch. He knew Lisbon was shooting him strange looks, but he didn't care. He'd only just decided that he wanted to spend more personal time with her and already he was taking her out to lunch. By any measure it was an unqualified success.

And he was paying for it. So it was date-ish, even if she didn't know it.

He really would have to do something about her concerns about whether she needed to go and take him to get his head examined, especially if they were going to do this long-term. But he'd worry about that tomorrow. For now, her concern was just nice. It was nice having someone who cared about him so much...

Hey! Maybe that was it! Lisbon cared about him! She was ridiculously overprotective of all her people, but especially_ him._ How much energy had she expended over the years making sure he hadn't ended up dead or in jail? Far more energy than he deserved, that was for sure.

But maybe he could use that to his advantage. Lisbon cared about his well-being. She'd been sad when she'd considered that he had nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon that hang about an empty office on the off chance she'd need him.

She wanted him to try and move on with his life. He knew she did. Oh, she hadn't been pushing him. She knew better than _that_. (She knew him so well. He unconsciously threaded his arm through hers again, earning him yet another odd look from his colleague that went unnoticed.)

Lisbon definitely wanted him to move on though.

What if he used that to get her to spend time with him?

It could work! It sounded horrible, but it could work!

She was the den mother of the Serious Crimes Unit. She couldn't help it. She was hardwired to try and help people, to coddle them a little. If she thought something was wrong she'd step in, take charge, and try to fix it.

That was it! It was the solution to his problem!

Lisbon liked taking charge!

If she thought he was lonely, or upset, or having trouble adjusting to life post-serial killer, she'd make it her mission to reintegrate him into society.

Which would involve them spending a lot of time together outside of work. During which she'd hopefully get so used to the idea that when he tossed out the idea of a more permanent arrangement (like dating, or a relationship, or _whatever)_, Lisbon would be far more likely to agree to it!

It was perfect.

Jane wouldn't need to figure out a way to successfully woo Teresa Lisbon.

Because she'd be too busy wooing him.

xxxxx


	3. Step 3: Implement said plan

A/N: HEE. I am amused by the sheer number of people expressing suspicion about Jane's plan. Do you really mean to say that none of you think it will work out *exactly* as he planned it, with no snags of any kind? In a story with twelve chapters and an epilogue? I am shocked, shocked I tell you. Seriously loving the reviews guys, and I promise I'll get around to answering them today or tomorrow. Until then, enjoy.

xxxxx**  
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**3. Step Three: Implement said Plan**

xxxxx

Jane led Lisbon to a little cafe not too far from the CBI building. They'd been there before, together in fact, though often with the team. Still, the two of them had grabbed coffee on the way to or from work or the courthouse more than once.

Jane thought starting slowly, with something familiar was a good idea, for both of them.

After all, this whole idea was still new to him too. Small steps might be warranted, until he figured out the details of his plan at least.

Plus he knew Lisbon had a secret weakness for their blueberry pie. (He preferred the raspberry, but if she claimed to be too full to order dessert, Jane had no qualms about ordering blueberry and letting her steal half of it instead.)

He kept the conversation light as they got settled for lunch. After all, the idea was to make these little outings enjoyable for both of them.

Lisbon seemed to be in a particularly good mood, one which turned out to be rather contagious. He found himself smiling at her with increasing frequency.

"What?" she asked eventually, with a bit of a laugh.

Jane froze momentarily in surprise. He hadn't expected her to call him on it. "What are you talking about, Lisbon?" he asked.

She shook her head indulgently. "You know what I mean," she told him. "You're staring at me. Do I have something in my teeth? Or on my face?"

Jane's smile widened and he shook his head. "I can assure you that there's nothing wrong with your physical appearance in any way, Lisbon."

"Then out with it," she demanded.

"You seem to be in a good mood," Jane observed. "I take it the meeting with Hightower went well?"

Lisbon narrowed her eyes briefly, but decided to just go with it. It was often easier. She shrugged. "I told you; it was just a routine check-in. And there was nothing in the last few months to cause either of us any headaches."

"What about when I accidentally knocked the mayor into a swimming pool in Lakeport?" Jane asked. The woman had yelled at him (okay, Lisbon) for ten minutes about that. Something about a new, and apparently very expensive, dress...

Lisbon laughed. "That's practically run of the mill now," she explained. "Besides, the mayor calmed down once she realized you'd managed to catch the woman who'd killed two of her employees. Especially when it came out she was the next intended victim."

"Ah," Jane said. "Well that's handy. Always nice to know that I haven't somehow caused you undo difficulty, Lisbon."

"Yes, you've been behaving yourself rather well lately," Lisbon murmured softly. Sometimes that fact worried her. She had no idea what was going on in her consultant's head. He was still unorthodox, but somehow less... fatalistic. Oh well, she didn't want to let it ruin what had so far been a perfectly lovely lunch. She shook off her gravity and added more playfully, "You're still not up to the standards of normal employees of course, but..."

"Where's the fun in that?" Jane asked. "Besides, sometimes catching criminals requires a little out-of-the-box thinking Lisbon; you know that."

She smirked. "I suppose, _sometimes_," she agreed. "Still, I'm glad you're in a good mood, whatever your reason."

"I told you my reason," Jane insisted.

Lisbon stared at him pointedly before shaking her head.

Jane smirked. Her scepticism should have been irritating. It really should have.

Lisbon shook her head. "Well, anyway, lunch as been lovely Jane..." she started to say.

"You're not getting dessert?" Jane interrupted quickly. He didn't want lunch to be over yet. She hadn't gotten her pie.

Lisbon was startled by the sudden urgency in his tone. "I wasn't really planning on it..." she said slowly.

"Do you have somewhere else to be?" Jane asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"No," Lisbon admitted. "I just didn't realize you wanted dessert. If you do, I'll get a coffee or something."

Jane was immediately all smiles again. "Excellent," he said. "Because I want pie."

Lisbon chuckled. "I should have known. Raspberry right?"

"Not sure," Jane told her. "You getting any?"

Lisbon thought wistfully about the blueberry pie. "I shouldn't," she said slowly. "Besides, I'm already pretty full so you'll have to eat your raspberry pie alone."

"Blueberry," Jane corrected cheerfully.

Lisbon narrowed her eyes.

"I _always_ get raspberry," Jane explained. "Well, almost always. I think it's time to change things up a little."

Lisbon briefly considered the potential double-meaning to that statement. What kind of new experiences was Jane considering? And did that potentially include his professional life? Like for example changing a job he often claimed not to like, now that he no longer needed it. "The blueberry is good," she said finally.

Jane smirked. "I rather gathered that you liked it, since you order it almost every time we come here."

"Shut up," she laughed. "Says the man who always orders the raspberry."

"I've ordered the blueberry before," Jane defended.

Lisbon shrugged. "You have," she said, her tone placating. "That's true."

"And I may as well get dessert today; since neither of us have anything pressing we can have an extra long lunch," Jane added.

Lisbon smirked. "Because we don't see enough of each other during the week already?"

Jane's face fell slightly.

Lisbon frowned. "Seriously Jane, is there something wrong?"

"No," he said too quickly.

"_Jane..._"

"I'm fine Lisbon," he insisted

"Jane... Patrick, you can tell me."

He sighed. She would play the first name card. She rarely did, even after all these years, so whenever it did come up he felt obliged to indulge her. "I just thought it'd be nice to have lunch is all," he told her. "I remembered that you had this meeting with Madeleine and I didn't have any plans, so I thought it'd be... fun. I don't have that many friends really and..." He trailed off and snuck a glance at her. "Sometimes it's nice to have something to do, is all. I don't have any reason to spend all my evenings up in an attic anymore after all so there's not as much to keep me busy," he explained trying for a joke.

Lisbon's face had turned immediately sympathetic. She leaned forward. "Jane, I know these last few months have been a bit of an adjustment for you."

He shrugged, "That's one way of putting it."

Lisbon ploughed on. "But ever since Red John's death, well, things have changed. You can have a normal life now, go out, make friends."

"I could," Jane admitted slowly.

"But?"

He sighed. "The thing is, what if I'm not sure I even know how to do that anymore? I've been chasing Red John for so long that... I don't know. I'm not sure how to do normal. Can you really see me going to bars, socializing, buying people drinks? Picking up women?"

"Actually..." Lisbon said with a half a smile.

"Faking it for a case aside," Jane qualified. "Besides, that's not my preferred method of meeting people. And anyway, I'd rather have lunch with you," he said with a cheery smile.

It didn't have much effect on his companion. "Jane..." Lisbon whispered in sympathy.

Jane examined her again and realized she looked far too upset, far too worried. He loved her for it, but he still didn't want her upset. He had the urge to tell her she could fix it, that she was really the one he wanted anyway. Unfortunately, Jane also knew that if he did that Lisbon would think he'd gone crazy. He'd been honest on impulse (and because it would help his cause), but he may have gone too far. "I'll be fine Teresa," he said gently. "Like you said, it's an adjustment is all."

She nodded, feeling helpless. "Just give it some more time."

Jane smiled slightly. "And besides, I've always got you to annoy."

She smiled back, genuinely, he was relieved to see. "Oh joy."

"And we had a nice lunch," Jane added with a smirk.

"We did," Lisbon agreed.

"It'll be the start of my social rehabilitation. You'll see," Jane promised her. He wanted to put the idea of spending more time together in her head, not send her into a panic over his mental state.

Lisbon smirked at him as their pie and coffee arrived.

Jane watched her eyes dart to his pie even before the waitress had set it down. "Lisbon?" he asked.

"Yes Jane?" she asked, still eyeing his pie.

"I don't think I'm as hungry as I thought I was," Jane said apologetically. "You may have to help me eat this pie."

Lisbon met his eyes for a moment. "Oh fine," she grumbled with an exaggerated sigh.

Jane smiled as he watched her pick up her fork and steal a bite, sighing at the taste of her favourite treat. Yeah, this spending time with Lisbon was going to be good, he decided, watching her enjoy her little indulgence.

It took a few seconds for him to remember that he was supposed to be eating as well. He should probably at least appear to be eating his pie, even if he'd gotten it for her.

"Jane?" Lisbon said after a minute (and between mouthfuls).

"Yes Lisbon?"

"Thanks for ordering the blueberry pie," she murmured, avoiding his eyes and sneaking her fork around his to steal yet another bite.

His grin got even brighter. "Anytime dear."

xxxxx

Lisbon dropped her bag onto a chair in her apartment.

She really was slightly over-full now. Shouldn't have had that pie. And it hadn't even been hers _really_. Jane had ordered it. Which was of absolutely no consequence to her now slightly protesting stomach.

She smiled slightly. Still, it had been sweet of him. She knew he preferred the raspberry, whatever he said. He only ever got the blueberry if she didn't order dessert herself.

Sometimes his irritating ability to read people had slightly sweet side-effects.

Lunch with Jane had been fun. Almost a compensation for having to go in to work on a Saturday really. Although she still shouldn't have eaten that pie (but the blueberries had been so very hard to resist. Jane's fault).

She didn't do enough stuff like that though, go out with friends.

Lisbon frowned. Nor, apparently, did Jane.

She was worried about him. Which, in and of itself wasn't new. She'd been worried about Jane in one way or another for the better part of a decade. But she'd hoped that after Red John (because she'd always had to believe that there _would_ be an 'after Red John') things would get better.

There'd been a few times when she'd almost lost faith in him. When he got particular crazy. When he went all tunnel-visiony and started talking crazy.

Then there was the time he'd shot a man.

Then she actually _had_ lost faith.

For a little while at least. While she'd been recovering in the hospital. She'd been _shot, _Jane had shot someone. He'd been in jail. She'd been confined to a hospital bed.

That had been their lowest point.

She'd almost given up on him completely. But she hadn't quite. Somehow she couldn't.

Maybe it was because she'd always known how crazy he got where Red John was concerned. Maybe it was because he'd never lied to her about his intentions. Maybe it was because she knew he cared about her in his way, genuinely cared.

She hadn't given up on him in the end.

She'd just worried for his sanity (and her own).

But he'd eventually justified her faith. Though it had taken months for them to get comfortable with each other again. She'd been constantly worried he'd fly off the handle.

He hadn't though. Shooting the wrong man had changed Jane somehow. He was, not better, but more controlled when it came to his need for revenge. It had been a welcome change, though Red John had always lurked in the background, making Lisbon nervous.

Now she was worried about him for a different reason.

He was having trouble adjusting. Well, Lisbon had always figured he would. You tie yourself up in one thing for so long, when that's gone life gets difficult. Even Jane couldn't pretend that well. In a lot of ways he was doing better than she'd ever hoped. She'd always assumed he'd be long gone by now, just disappear after the death of the man who'd killed his family.

He hadn't. But now Jane apparently had no idea how to go back to living normally. No idea how to approach people, reintegrate with society. Oh, he was good at conning people in the short term, or enough for a superficial relationship. But that wasn't what he was talking about, Lisbon knew that.

Jane was a loner. She didn't know if he had a single friend outside the team.

Now he was _lonely_.

Lisbon could understand that. She got lonely sometimes. It was no great shock that Jane did too.

Lonely enough that he'd come into work on a Saturday just to drag her out to lunch, because she was one of his few true friends. Lisbon smiled slightly at that thought, but it didn't last.

Poor Jane. It had to be tough.

There had to be something she could do to help him. She wasn't necessarily the best person to help someone remember how to put themselves out there though; her own social calendar wasn't exactly packed.

But on the other hand, she wasn't a complete incompetent either. She went out, a bit. She met men, dated from time to time. Okay, she wasn't great at permanent relationships, but she could be social!

She wasn't a recluse up in an attic somewhere with some sort of horrible disfigurement. (Of the two of them, Jane was the one prone to hiding in attics.)

Besides, she was his friend. She cared about him. She wanted to help him. That was all that mattered.

She didn't need to take him to bars and help him pick up women (Lisbon figured he could probably do _that_ perfectly well already); she didn't even need to set him up with her single friends (not that she'd do that anyway. She didn't know a single person she could comfortably foist Patrick Jane on). No, she just needed to be his friend. They could go do social friend-type things together.

Yeah. That would work.

And when he healed a little more he'd see that he could live a normal life... he could have friends, have a girlfriend maybe, have...

Have a normal job.

Lisbon dropped onto her couch, a sinking feeling in her stomach. He wouldn't have to brood up in the attic or on the couch or catch murderers.

What had Jane said once? That at least as a fake psychic he gave people false hope instead of just going around the countryside giving sad people bad news.

He wouldn't have to do that anymore.

Lisbon bit her lip.

Well, there was nothing she could do about that. Jane _would_ figure out his life eventually, whether she got involved or not. And if he decided to leave then that was that (and he very likely would choose to go; he'd already done it twice temporarily after all). She had no claim on him. Either way Jane deserved to be happy.

Besides, maybe he'd decide he wanted to stay.

Lisbon sighed and leaned back into her couch cushions. She'd at least try and make sure they kept in touch.

xxxxx


	4. Step 4: Go on the first date

A/N: Heh. Now I'm amused by the sheer number of you that are amazed that Jane's plan is actually working. They always work a little bit you know. In their way... Hope you enjoy this chapter too!

xxxxx

**4. Step Four: Go on the (somewhat) awkward "first date"**

xxxxx

Jane felt something hit the back of his head.

He opened his eyes and looked up at Lisbon, now demurely holding a file in front of her.

"Come with me," she ordered.

Jane sat up on his couch confused. They didn't have a case. To the best of his knowledge he hadn't committed any recent public relations problems. It was getting late; technically he was off the clock. Still, he decided it was probably best to go along with her order. Especially since it probably meant spending time with her.

"Where are we going?" he asked as he put on his jacket.

"I thought we'd go get some dinner," Lisbon said casually, far more casually than she felt. She was actually quite pleased with the effect.

Jane paused putting his arm into his left sleeve. "_Really?"_ he asked in pleasant surprise. "And do I get any say in this decision, or am I following orders?"

Lisbon flushed slightly. "No," she stuttered. "Of course not. I..."

"Yes Lisbon?" Jane asked, enjoying himself immensely.

Lisbon resisted the urge to scowl. Jane looked far too amused by (what was supposed to have been) a simple invitation to dinner. "I just thought, we're the last two people here... I haven't eaten; I know you haven't either." She explained, taking a breath, "I thought we could get a bite together, might be nice."

"Ah," Jane said in that superior tone of his.

"Unless you're too busy sleeping on your couch," Lisbon said sarcastically.

Jane grinned, "I think I can squeeze you in."

Lisbon couldn't help scowling slightly, as she brusquely turned towards the elevator, flinging the file onto Van Pelt's desk on the way past. She felt an overwhelming urge to punch her consultant. It looked like Jane was laughing at her when she'd just been trying to be nice.

Jane jogged slightly to catch up with her. "Lisbon?" he asked.

"Yes?" she asked, knowing her tone was a little short. But really, there was no need for irritating consultants to be so damn superior about _everything_. "Is there something you'd like to say?"

Jane paused briefly. He'd obviously put her on the defensive in a way he hadn't really meant to. "You seem very determined about dinner is all," Jane observed neutrally.

Lisbon willed herself to calm down. After all, she _had _asked _him. _"What do you mean?"

"You're power-walking towards the elevator and rather noticeably not looking at me," Jane explained lightly, holding his hands up in an attempt to placate her after his remark earned him another frustrated look. He deliberately kept his tone non-confrontational. He'd only meant to tease, not seriously irritate. "Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with no-direct-eye-contact, but it might make dinner awkward."

Lisbon slowed down, and shot him an awkward smile. "Sorry," she muttered apologetically.

"Something wrong?" Jane double-checked, trying to soothe her.

"No," she assured him quickly.

"Teresa..." he said with a friendly grin.

"Okay," she admitted. "So, um... I was thinking about what you said before, y'know, at lunch?" She already felt awkward enough about her little plan, which made her slightly testier than usual and she might have unfairly taken that out Jane.

"I told you not to worry about that," Jane reminded her. Oh, he _wanted_ her to worry about it, but he also didn't want to make her feel obligated to worry. It was a fine line. Most of his plans were.

Lisbon glared at him again. Like she wasn't going to worry about him when he told her he didn't know how to adapt to living any kind of functional life again. Still, best not to tell him that. He might turn in on himself. It wasn't really the point anyway. "It's not that exactly," she tried to explain. "I was just thinking that you were right. We're friends, and friends do stuff together. And anyway, I get sick of going home alone to my apartment sometimes too. So I thought maybe we could get a meal together from time to time. That's all."

"Well that and you've taken pity on me," Jane added dryly.

This time Lisbon did more than glare. "_Did I say that?"_ she hissed, punching him in the shoulder.

"No," Jane hastened to say, realizing his attempt at a joke may have hurt her feelings slightly. "I'd love to get dinner with you, Teresa."

"Okay."

"I would," Jane insisted.

"I said okay," Lisbon reminded him.

"It was nice of you to think of me," Jane told her, hoping a compliment would sweeten her temper a little.

It didn't.

"I told you, Jane," Lisbon growled, her irritation still higher than usual because she'd been nervous about her invitation all damn day. If only Jane had just agreed to come to dinner with her without questioning it like a sensible person then all this could have been avoided. But _no,_ not Jane. He always needed more explanation. "Sometimes I get sick of eating dinner alone too. We're friends. And if this maybe helps you adjust too, well..."

"Added side benefit?" Jane suggested.

"Sure," Lisbon shrugged.

That was when Jane finally realized how awkward she genuinely was about the whole thing. He'd known she'd felt uncomfortable (and so he'd teased). But he hadn't realized she felt _this_ ill at ease. Though he should have known better; Lisbon was always uncomfortable with personal issues. He'd just been so tickled that she'd asked him at all that he hadn't thought about it. The obvious defensiveness in her posture was endearing, but Jane found he wanted to make her comfortable. He slipped a hand around the crook of her elbow. "Can we get Italian?" he asked hopefully.

"That sounds nice," Lisbon agreed, unable to resist letting out a breath of relief that Jane had decided to drop the issue of _why_ she'd asked him to dinner. She didn't understand it; he always managed to convince people to do things without explanation. Why could she never pull off the same thing where he was concerned? She'd have to get him to teach her the trick someday.

"Great," Jane agreed. "That little place near City Hall?"

"Let's go," Lisbon replied, taking charge again. "I'll drive."

"Whatever you say," Jane murmured with a small smile. Not even 48 hours since their lunch and she'd already started tackling his supposed problem. Well, she was certainly efficient, if a little predictable.

xxxxx

By the time they reached the restaurant, Lisbon felt much more at ease. Jane had stopped pestering her about her impromptu dinner invitation (the one she'd spent an embarrassing amount of time planning in an obviously failed attempt to make things go smoothly). In fact, Jane seemed to be in quite a good mood, and so was being particularly charming. When they sat down at the table, Lisbon had almost forgotten about the awkwardness of her suggestion to grab a bite.

"So," she said as she opened her menu. "How are things going with you? Anything exciting?"

Jane nearly laughed at her question. After all, he saw her almost every day. If there had been any major developments in his life, she'd have heard about them already. "Not really," he admitted. "I think I'm getting close to a break on the Wallace case."

Lisbon's face fell and she put her menu down. "I didn't mean about work," she admonished. "We should talk about something else."

Jane raised an eyebrow. "May I ask why we're not talking about work? Or are you just trying to dictate our conversations now."

She swatted him lightly with her menu across the table. "Don't be an ass," she told him. "I just thought, we talk about work all the time, it'd be nice to try talking about something else. And talking about work isn't going to help you get a life again, for lack of a better term."

"Aha!" Jane exclaimed. "So this little outing _is_ an attempt at rehabilitating yours truly."

"I've already told you a million times, it's not just about that," Lisbon replied, annoyed. "And I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be."

"Because we're two friends out for dinner," Jane said.

"Exactly," Lisbon agreed.

"Then can I point out that it would be odd for two friends who were out for dinner _not_ to discuss their respective jobs? Especially if they knew each other from the workplace and it was an area of common interest. After all, people like to discuss common interests, Lisbon," Jane explained.

"I guess..."

"I'm not saying we should _only_ discuss work," Jane clarified. "But it's unrealistic to veto it as a topic altogether."

Lisbon considered that. He was right, much as it irked her. "Then can I say how pleased Hightower is that you've apparently decided to start reviewing cold cases when you're not busy? She says something about it almost every time I meet with her now."

Jane rolled his eyes. "You can only imagine what she's like with _me_ then," he griped. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Madeleine's support, but sometimes her enthusiasm was a little much. After all, he'd only started reading the files in an attempt to stop himself from going crazy from the boredom. Then, somewhere along the way a funny thing had happened. He'd started almost enjoying himself. Well, 'enjoying' himself was the wrong word. But he liked trying to solve these old cases that almost everyone had given up on. He'd like to think that part of him liked giving other people the closure he'd finally gotten when Red John slammed into a television pole. Although Jane had to admit that a significant part of his satisfaction came from the feeling of mental superiority that accompanied figuring out a problem everyone else had given up on long ago. Unfortunately, that feeling of superiority was marred by Madeleine's smug enjoyment whenever he came up with a solution for an old case.

Lisbon chuckled at her consultant's annoyance, not at all sympathetic. "Oh, you're perfectly capable of coping with a pleased Director. And look at it this way, she's less likely to throw a fit whenever you do something insane now."

"That's true," Jane said mulishly. "But she never did much of anything before."

"Jane..." Lisbon warned.

"Anyway," Jane said, turning the subject away from Madeleine Hightower. "It's not like I do it all by myself. You tend to help out too."

"Thanks ever so much," Lisbon said with a laugh.

Jane rolled his eyes at her. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

Lisbon shrugged. "We're a team," she said.

"Guess we are," Jane agreed, opening his menu. He liked having a team, specifically her team. He never could have caught Red John all on his own; he knew that now. Jane was grateful for them, all of them. Now he was used to having people he could count on, even if it was a very select group, and one she was the head of.

Lisbon caught her consultant's eye across the table above her menu.

He winked at her.

She chuckled, and went back to her menu, amused.

Jane closed his menu a few seconds later. "What are you thinking of having?" he asked.

"I was thinking one of the seafood pastas," Lisbon murmured. "You?"

"Good old fashioned spaghetti and meatballs, Lisbon," he explained. "Sometimes you don't mess with the classics."

"Last time we were here you got the fancy pasta special they were offering that week. It had _truffles _in it if I'm not mistaken," she reminded him dryly.

Jane ignored her tone. "And today I feel like spaghetti and meatballs," he defended.

Lisbon examined him from across the table. "Fair enough," she conceded.

Soon afterwards the waitress came to take their orders. When she was gone, Jane leaned forward on his elbows. "So," he drawled. "What's going on in _your_ life that you want to talk about, besides work."

Lisbon resisted the urge to bang her head on the table. After all, she'd walked right into it. "Not all that much," she admitted. "I guess I'm not all that exciting."

"Nonsense, you're fascinating, dear. What about your overly environmentally conscientious friend, the Park Ranger?" Jane asked. "How is he?"

Lisbon shot him an amused look. "Gordon wasn't _overly_ environmentally conscientious."

"_Sure_ he wasn't," Jane muttered.

"He _wasn't_," Lisbon insisted.

"He gave me a ten minute long lecture on why I should get a new car for better fuel efficiency," Jane argued.

Lisbon smirked. "Yes, but that's not only environmentally sound; it makes better financial sense as well. You'd save a ton of money on gas with a newer car."

"Says the woman who drives an SUV," Jane reminded her.

"I need my car for work," Lisbon said blithely.

"Sure you do," Jane growled. "And anyway, my car has character."

"I know it does," Lisbon assured him patronizingly.

"Something your Park Ranger couldn't understand," Jane added.

"Half the time _I_ don't understand it," Lisbon reminded him. "Especially whenever your car breaks down and I have to come pick you up."

"Meh," Jane said airily. "I just don't see how it's any of Gordon's business."

"He was just making a friendly suggestion!" Lisbon expostulated. "Would you let it go? Besides, I stopped seeing him _weeks ago_, as you well know!"

Jane nodded. "Of course I know. But you never actually told me, so I thought it might be more polite to pretend I didn't and let you break the news officially. You sometimes get very touchy when I read you, Lisbon."

"I've kind of gotten used to it now," Lisbon muttered.

Jane grinned. "In that case do you mind if I ask why you didn't get the Chicken Pesto? I know you were eyeing it."

"I had a big lunch," Lisbon explained with a laugh. "I thought it'd be too heavy."

"Right, so you went with a pasta in a rich cream sauce," Jane said sceptically.

"Oh hush," she replied. "I didn't say my appetite was logical. And I stopped teasing you about your meatballs."

"True," Jane agreed. "Hey Lisbon?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about Gordon; he was a nice guy, even if he was occasionally a bit of a nut." The first part of that was a lie. Jane was pleased as hell that Gordon was out of the picture. But Jane figured if he was going to do the social thing with Lisbon, he'd better observe at least a few of the typical niceties involved.

Lisbon shrugged, not too upset. "We're still friendly. And he was hardly the love of my life. The relationship wasn't that serious, only lasted a few weeks. You only met Gordon by accident," she reminded her consultant. She'd run into Jane on the street one day when she'd been having lunch with Gordon so she'd _had_ to make the necessary introductions.

She remembered that it somehow hadn't seemed strange to introduce Jane, and that Jane had been rather well behaved, unlike whenever he met anyone Van Pelt was dating. Those guys were always teased mercilessly, though Jane claimed he was doing an unofficial background check for safety reasons (usually when Van Pelt was out of earshot). Jane apparently figured Lisbon could take care of herself. Either that or he thought she'd maim him if he interfered.

Jane nodded. He'd known the relationship wouldn't last from the very start. Gordon the park ranger needed someone as passionate about the environment as he was. Lisbon hadn't been it. Her passions lay elsewhere. There wasn't enough common ground for the long term. Besides, nice guy or not, Gordon had far too straightforward a mind to understand someone like Teresa Lisbon. She had more complexity in her little finger than the Park Ranger had ever experienced in his entire life. Jane was surprised she hadn't gotten bored with him before she had.

"So what about you and love?" Lisbon asked mischievously.

Jane nearly choked on his water. "You know the answer to that," he said slowly, trying to evade the question.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I just like freaking you out."

"You and Madeleine both," Jane muttered petulantly.

Lisbon was unapologetic. "It's entertaining."

"Hmph."

"Seriously though," she said more soberly. "You ever think about it?"

"Yeah, sometimes," Jane admitted. "But I don't really want to talk about it right now. I'd rather just enjoy dinner."

"Okay," she told him easily. Unlike Hightower had, Lisbon didn't press. "But if you ever did want to talk..."

"I know where to find you," Jane promised. He had a feeling they would talk sometime in the near future, though it certainly wouldn't be the conversation she had in mind.

"Okay."

"So," Jane asked, leaning forward. "Guy in the corner table, trying to pick up the waitress or just loves his coffee that much?"

Lisbon glanced over in the direction he was indicating, where the customer was indeed talking (smugly and at length) about something while smiling smarmily in their waitress' direction. "Definitely trying to pick her up," she murmured, feeling a stab of pity for the poor waitress who was clearly trying to maintain some sort of polite interest, probably for the sake of her tip. "I've seen a hundred versions of that same smile over the years. Why do men think that's charming?" she demanded.

Jane shrugged. "Some men'll do anything they can think of to try and attract a beautiful woman. We can be simple creatures sometimes."

"But that approach can't work very often. You'd think the failure'd teach them something," Lisbon remarked dryly.

Jane smirked. "Some men are idiots."

"That's definitely true," Lisbon agreed.

"Hey!"

"What?" she asked. "I didn't say you were!"

"I just felt the instinctive need to defend my brethren," Jane explained.

"Uh huh," Lisbon said sceptically.

"Hush woman," Jane ordered. "You girls aren't always the most rational either."

"I never said we were," Lisbon mimicked. "But I do think we're less likely to do what that guy is doing."

"Pick up a hot waitress?" Jane asked. "No, that's probably true, even accounting for the lesbians who'd be willing to take a shot, the probability is much lower."

"Not what I meant," Lisbon said with a laugh.

"I know," Jane admitted.

"Oh, she's escaped him now," Lisbon observed. "For the time being at least. I doubt he gives up that easily, since that's got to be his third cup of coffee."

"Speaking of which," Jane segued smoothly. "Do you want coffee?"

Lisbon narrowed her eyes briefly. Despite his initial teasing, Jane obviously had no intention of cutting their evening short. The hopeful look in his eyes was actually quite flattering. So she gave in, as she knew she would. "Sure," she agreed. "No desert though. I'm way too full after that pasta."

"Told you it was rich," Jane reminded her.

"Shut up, Jane," Lisbon ordered good-naturedly.

"They're actually competent at making Earl Grey here," Jane added. "So I'll get that."

"Maybe I will too," Lisbon decided spontaneously. "Change things up a bit."

"You rebel, you," Jane teased as he signalled subtly for the waitress to order their tea, all the while sneaking glances at Lisbon and her laughing eyes.

It had been a good evening.

One Jane was slightly regretful that he couldn't think of any way to prolong further as she dropped him off at his car.

Still, better to start off slow, get her used to spending personal time with him. As things progressed he could start subtly encouraging her to think about the possibility of something more with him. It was a good plan.

Good plan or no, he couldn't help feeling slightly disappointed as he unbuckled his seatbelt. "Well, here we are, back at the CBI," Jane said. "Home away from home."

"You're spending less time here than you did though," Lisbon reminded him. "Right?"

Jane smirked. "Yes, Lisbon. I do go home at night," he assured her.

'Good."

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," Jane told her as he got out of the car.

"Guess so," Lisbon agreed cheerfully, quite pleased with how the evening had gone.

"And Lisbon?" Jane said, poking his head back in the car.

"Yeah?"

"I had a good time tonight. This was a good idea," he informed her.

She grinned self-consciously. "Maybe we should do it again sometime then."

"Just say the word," he told her. "Night Teresa."

"Night Jane," he heard her say before he finally shut the door.

After watching him get into his car, Lisbon found herself smiling all the way home. Apart from a minor snag at the beginning, her little attempt to get Jane to be more social had gone rather well. He was really excellent company when he wanted to be. The next time they had a quiet evening, they should definitely do this again.

xxxxx


	5. Step 5: Find your footing

Alright, here we go, the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it. Thanks again for all the lovely reviews!

xxxxx**  
><strong>

**5. Step Five: Find your footing**

xxxxxx

Jane was quite surprised by the degree of success of his little scheme. He'd figured he'd have to drop far more hints about his own lack of any kind of normal routine or social life before Lisbon decided to take him in hand and save him from himself. Instead, she'd invited him out to dinner after one off-the-cuff conversation.

It had been a rather delightful evening, all told. Oh, a fair bit of bickering, particularly in the beginning, but Jane didn't suppose there was any way to avoid that with Lisbon. Which, he admitted with a secret smile, was far from being all her fault. Sometimes he really couldn't resist provoking her; she got so delightfully flustered and self-conscious. It was rather a treat to discomfit the usually perfectly self-possessed Teresa Lisbon.

She always seemed to react to his teasing, and before he knew it they were trading barbs, though not the kind intended to hurt. It was fun, livened things up a little. He'd learned to appreciate his little dark-haired spitfire years ago, and he liked to think she enjoyed the arguments as much as he did. Jane guessed that it was something of a relief to her, his complete disregard for the rules. And _not_ because his methods often helped her solve cases. That might be true professionally, but wasn't what he was referring to.

No, Jane suspected that Lisbon liked that he didn't follow any rules because it meant that she often didn't have to follow any rules when she was dealing with him. If he was an ass, she could tell him so point blank without reprisal. Jane imagined it must give her a strange kind of liberation, this woman who had to maintain a tactful front so often throughout her day and who, more often than not, had to hide her anger and frustration at the world in order to get things done.

He, as the madcap consultant, had become a bit of an outlet for her. He let her vent.

She, in turn, had become the one person he could talk to when he needed, and his preferred companion, given the choice.

Lisbon didn't seem to mind his company either.

Once the first awkward dinner offer was made, Lisbon lost no time in making others. It was surprising how easily spending more time with each other turned out to be. Lisbon had always been able to manage things subtly and with a minimum of fuss. She did it so well that Jane often didn't even notice it to appreciate it. This time he did notice however. It was hard not to when the result was that he got to spend an increasing amount of time with the undivided attention of a beautiful woman. Jane found himself grabbing lunch with her two days after their dinner, meeting her in the afternoons over coffee, talking to her on the phone on evenings when she was bored. Lisbon even began hinting at a surprise outing on the weekend if they didn't get a case and if neither of them were busy.

Jane admitted he was immensely curious about this so-called 'surprise outing,' and fervently hoped that no one got murdered in either a particularly grisly or particularly public way before Saturday morning.

He'd always liked surprises, kept things interesting. And it had been a long time since he'd had anything of any significance to look forward to.

Jane even got another surprise before Saturday. Rigsby and Cho appeared together in front of his couch the next morning.

The consultant opened his eyes to greet them. "Yes?" he asked.

"We're going bowling tomorrow night," Cho informed him bluntly. "You coming?"

Jane blinked twice at the unexpected offer.

Rigsby snickered, and decided to make the invitation sound slightly more welcoming. "In other words, do you want to come bowling, man, if you're not busy? It'll be fun."

"Uh..." Jane hesitated, wondering where the sudden offer was coming from. "Sure, why not. Sounds good."

"Great," Cho said. "See you then," he added before turning and walking away.

Rigsby turned and went back to his desk, still smirking like something amused him quite a bit.

Jane shook his head and went back to napping. He'd figure it out later.

xx

It actually took him until after the bowling trip to realize what was going on. He probably could have figured it out earlier, if he'd done as he'd originally planned and just asked Rigsby and Cho why they'd felt the sudden need to invite him to hang out with them. But he'd gotten distracted and forgotten. The two male agents had always spent time together fairly regularly, and Jane had rarely ever been asked to join them. Not because they were deliberately excluding him, but because they'd assumed he wouldn't want to go, or that he'd be too busy, or because it was a strictly partners thing. Jane hadn't been offended. Mostly Cho and Rigsby had been right in their assumptions; Jane wouldn't have wanted to join them, especially early on in their acquaintance.

Not that he hadn't had a good time bowling; he had. It'd been nice to go out with the guys.

He'd been so distracted having a good time (okay, that and making Rigsby snicker into his beer by pestering Cho about the seriousness with which he took his bowling) to figure out what was going on until midway through his drive home. Then it suddenly hit him, and he knew exactly what had prompted the sudden invitation.

xx

Jane strolled into her office first thing the next morning. "Morning Lisbon," he said cheerfully.

Lisbon looked up from her paperwork. "Morning," she answered. She waited for him to say something else. He didn't, just stood there rocking on his heels and grinning at her inanely, his hands clasped behind his back. "Did you need something Jane?" she asked with the hint of a smile, noting that his hair looked particularly dishevelled that morning for some reason. There was one particularly errant curl sticking off to the side, making him look a little mischievous (and making her consider tucking it back in place).

"I went bowling with Rigsby and Cho last night," Jane informed her.

Lisbon couldn't help looking pleased at that. She leaned back in her chair. "That's nice. Did you boys have a good time?" she asked indulgently

Jane grinned back. The sense of satisfaction wafting off of her gave her away. "We did actually. Even if Cho won all three games."

Seeing his grin, Lisbon couldn't help noticing that Jane's smile seemed more genuine than usual, maybe even less restrained. "Cho's quite the bowler," she said after a moment.

"It was a bit strange though," Jane continued, eyes twinkling.

"Why would Cho winning all three games be strange?" Lisbon wondered. "Pretty sure he goes bowling a fair bit."

"No, not _that,_" Jane clarified, inching towards her.

"Then what?" Lisbon wondered.

"The invitation," Jane explained. "Well, maybe not strange, just unexpected. After all, Rigsby and Cho have been going bowling at least once a month since I joined your team and they haven't asked me along in years."

"Probably because you always turned them down when they did ask," Lisbon said dryly.

"Oh undoubtedly," Jane agreed. "I'm not saying that they didn't have their _reasons_, which made the sudden change in behaviour all the more intriguing."

"Ah," said Lisbon, her eyes flicking to the side as she fidgeted with the file she'd been reading.

"Then it hit me," Jane added cheerfully, amused by her poor attempts at evasion. He noticed her hair had fallen in front of her face and was struck by an odd urge to reach over and push it aside. "The reason why they asked me so suddenly, I mean."

"Did it?" Lisbon muttered.

"_You _asked them to ask me," Jane informed her.

Lisbon did look up then. "What?"

"You asked Rigsby and Cho to take me bowling," Jane repeated, stifling a laugh at the brief flash of panic on her face over being caught.

"Why would you..." Lisbon started to ask, her fingers beginning to twitch guiltily, crinkling the edges of the papers she was holding.

"Because you're worried about me. You've admitted that. And you want me to spend less time alone. You thought going out with Rigsby and Cho would be good for me," Jane told her, his own fingers now twitching with an urge to wrap around hers, stilling them. "Part of your campaign to reintegrate me into society I suppose."

"Jane..."

"And I'm not denying I had fun Lisbon. But still, ordering your team to take me out?" Jane asked pretending to sound slightly put out. "Makes me sound like the un-cool kid in the class the teacher has to order the other kids to play with."

Lisbon stared at him in disbelief. She doubted Patrick Jane had ever been the un-cool kid anywhere. "First of all, I didn't order them to do _anything_," she explained, setting down her file. "I just suggested that they ask you, because you might actually be in a frame of mind to accept now. They were perfectly willing to have you go; they just assumed that _you_ didn't want to since you've always declined to in the past. It's not like when I used to bribe my two oldest brothers to play with poor Steve."

Jane's eyes shone in pleasure at that little bit of information, "You used to bribe..."

"And secondly," Lisbon continued, ignoring his interruption. "_This_ from the man who convinced Van Pelt to ask me to be her _bridesmaid_ because I apparently wanted an excuse to dress up. In that ridiculous pink dress no less," Lisbon grumbled.

"Oh, you secretly loved that dress," Jane told her with a wave of his hand. "And you looked like the princess you are. Besides, I only did that because I like you Lisbon. You deserve to get what you want."

She stared at him pointedly, willing him to make the obvious leap in logic.

"Ah," Jane nodded, trying not to show how pleased he was by the implications of her glare.

"_Ah,_" Lisbon repeated dryly.

"Still, you're a bit controlling, dear," Jane teased.

"Shut up," Lisbon said playfully. It was almost habit now. Then she smiled awkwardly and busied herself with her paperwork again.

Jane smiled and took a step towards her desk; he was so close that his jacket brushed against it as he leaned over her. He placed the bag he'd been holding behind his back directly in front of her. "I bought you a bear claw," he told her softly, wishing the piece of furniture wasn't in between them. It would have been so much easier to touch her then. But there was no excuse to brush a hand along her arm or against her waist when she was half-reading a file.

Lisbon looked up at him again, an odd expression on her face. "Thanks Jane," she said softly.

"Yeah, well, I'll be on my couch if anything comes up," he told her with an awkward wave of his hand.

"Okay," she said with a smirk at his attempts to look smooth. It was refreshing not to be the one of them feeling a little awkward for once.

Jane poked his head back in the door on his way out. "Teresa?"

She looked up.

"Thanks."

She smiled and waved him out of her office.

Jane committed her pleased little smile to memory.

xx

Lisbon picked at her bear claw, looking self-satisfied.

It had become a bit of a tradition of theirs, Jane dropping by her office with her favourite treat. He never did it in any sort of regular pattern that she could tell, usually when it was least expected or when she was having a bad day. How he was able to predict that she was going to have a bad day was something Lisbon never knew, since he was rarely the cause of them if he was bringing her a pastry. Jane rarely used bear claws as a part of an apology, reserving them instead as a way of making her smile. It was even rarer that they were part of a thank-you. Jane wasn't often one to thank someone for a favour, so when he did it was all the sweeter.

Lisbon would be lying if she said his awkward thank you for hinting to Rigsby and Cho that maybe they should ask him to join them on one of their male bonding outings didn't make her happy. She'd always had a soft spot for her consultant, no point in denying that. Everyone knew it already anyway. She genuinely liked all of her team, but her relationship with Jane had always been apart from that somehow.

Possibly because he wasn't quite her subordinate (well, he was and he wasn't; _it was complicated_). Whatever his official status was, it was a distinction Jane liked to remind her of at least once a month, particularly when he was about to do something she'd expressly asked him not to. He had a contrary streak a mile wide. He also had an absolutely infuriating way of looking at a person when they were angry and yelling at him, his expression that of a perfect martyr patiently waiting while the person trying to make him see sense finished yelling for reasons Jane quite plainly considered to be trivial.

In other words he drove her absolutely nuts more often than not.

Yet Lisbon liked him, even when he made her want to tear her hair out. Maybe it was because when he wasn't being difficult he was good fun, maybe it was because he was the only person who ever seemed to worry about her, maybe it was because he bothered to notice when something was wrong, or maybe it was because she liked a good fight more than she was willing to admit.

And she'd always liked having someone to fuss over a bit. Made her feel useful.

Jane was always a bit of a worry, though for less obvious reasons now. His isolation wasn't ideal.

So far her little plan to get him out of his apartment was going rather well though. She was pleased he'd obviously had such a good time with the boys, even if he hadn't gone right out and said that. Lisbon had gotten good at reading his tells. She was also pleased that he seemed to be enjoying all of their own casual outings. Jane seemed oddly enthusiastic about the whole thing actually (even if he did always tease a little).

His zeal about the whole thing was unexpected actually. Jane was often so oddly closed off.

Even more unexpected though, was how much _she_ was enjoying his company herself.

Oh, she had friends, sure. People she'd met in college that she called every few weeks to gossip, or people she'd met in Sacramento she met at bars after work, or on the weekends for lunch when she wasn't busy.

But Lisbon had never really had anyone like Jane.

Someone she could apparently call at all hours just to talk, or drag out for food, or tease; someone who bothered to find out if something was bothering her, or if she was just tired.

She liked having a Jane.

And okay, it was oddly flattering going out on Jane's arm (figuratively). Lisbon had been on the receiving end of more than one resentful look from some of the other women eyeing him. Jane never paid them too much attention though, not something that would help him meet other people, or possibly even get ready to date. But she'd worry about that later. Right now getting Jane out with people was enough, for both of them.

Because there was another added benefit of this little arrangement that she hadn't really given much thought to (actually, _neither_ of them had).

Lisbon loved her job, and her job had basically become her life. So much so that sometimes she got a bit lonely. Dragging Jane out of the protective shell he'd existed in turned out to be the perfect antidote for that.

Lisbon suddenly felt a pang deep in her chest. She'd miss him when he finally decided to move on.

But she wasn't going to think about that right now. She was going to enjoy her sugary treat, and feel pleased by her success in getting him out with the guys.

Jane was happy; she was happy. She'd worry about the rest later.

She'd just let herself enjoy their time together, however long it lasted.

And she'd look forward to Saturday. Lisbon chuckled to herself. She wondered what Jane would make of her little outing.

xxxxx


	6. Step 6: Appreciate any surprises

A/N: Alright guys, here we go, the super-duper-secret outing. Hope you enjoy it. (I quite like it.) Also, thanks again for all the lovely support. I may miss one of my daily updates this weekend since it's the long weekend here, so it may not happen. Just warning you now.

xxxxxx**  
><strong>

**6. Step Six: Appreciate any surprises along the way**

xxxxxx

Patrick Jane walked up to Lisbon's building slowly, his mind in a great state of perturbation. Uncertainty and perturbation were unusual for him, but this was important. He wanted to do his best to make sure everything was perfect, that he hit the right notes so to speak. It certainly didn't help that he hadn't any idea what Lisbon had planned for the two of them. None whatsoever.

He was inordinately pleased that Saturday had finally arrived and been case-free. After all, even if not knowing what the outing was going to be was a bit of a nuisance, a cancellation would have been far, far worse given that his curiosity was at about a fever-pitch.

No thanks to Lisbon herself, who laughed gaily and said nothing each and every time he tried to pry further details out of her.

Well, not nothing exactly. Lisbon had helpfully provided him with information about the required wardrobe. She'd told him to dress casually. Actually, she'd teased him that her little surprise would require something less formal than a three-piece suit, adding with a sideways grin that if he owned something other than dress pants that would be good. Also, his terrible brown shoes (her description) were a no. Apparently he'd need something with a tread. Then she'd started to explain to him about something very popular with a large section of the population known as a running shoe.

Jane had smiled self-deprecatingly and let her have her fun. (After all, she'd been in fine form and a significant part of him was enjoying being the one in the dark while Lisbon acted as puppet-master.)

Although he wasn't sure that Lisbon's implication that he'd gotten his wardrobe out of the middle of last century was strictly necessary, even if it had taken him a few minutes to find the only pair of jeans he owned where they'd gotten tucked away in the back of his closet.

Still, in the end Jane had followed her instructions the best that he could. Now he was quickly approaching her door, wearing jeans and a golf shirt _and_ the recommended footwear, all the while feeling unbelievably out of his depth.

It sounded like Lisbon had something athletic in mind, which meant there was a very good chance he was about to embarrass himself since her skill level at any kind of sport would undoubtedly be head and shoulders above his own. He'd never been one for any kind of organized sports (unorthodox upbringing and all that). Jane hoped she didn't want to play basketball. He _hated_ basketball. Please let Lisbon not want to play basketball.

And see, that was the real problem. She might _not_ want to play basketball (in fact, she probably _didn't_). She might just want to go get ice cream at the park, and not want him looking like he'd just ducked out of the office. Jane didn't know.

This was one of the drawbacks to letting Lisbon direct their relationship.

She probably had all sorts of ideas about what would be healthy for him in his unsettled state. He was sure physical activity was one of them.

He wasn't anti-exercise exactly, but often it wasn't really his thing.

Jane was completely in the dark. Not a clue what was going to happen. Part of him loved it, part of him was terrified. (The spectre of basketball still caused him to shudder.)

But all of that wasn't really what was causing his current mental unease. Not at all.

He'd realized on his way up Lisbon's street that he hadn't brought her flowers.

He felt like he should have bought her flowers. Sure, Lisbon didn't know that they were dating exactly, but he still could have brought them. She _liked_ flowers, always gave him that crooked little smile whenever he procured one for her. It would have been nice. Not roses or anything, just a few daisies. Or daffodils. Or _something._ But he hadn't brought her anything.

And it was too late now. He'd be late meeting her if he tried to find some now.

Jane sighed, and knocked on her door. Why did this all have to be so complicated? Maybe he could get her flowers where they were going?

He nearly groaned in frustration.

He tried to relax when he heard the door un-lock. May as well try not to worry about the lack of flowers or any possible athletic requirements. After all, how bad could it be? Even if it was basketball.

Jane summoned up a friendly smile to greet her with.

Then Lisbon opened the door and Jane's smile froze on his face while the fear of basketball and the problem of the flowers flew right out of his head.

She was wearing _shorts._

She was also looking excited and ready to go, but Jane barely noticed her facial expression.

Because Teresa Lisbon was wearing _shorts_.

Not overly short shorts, nothing anywhere near inappropriate, but _shorts_ nonetheless.

Holy Hell! Glory be to the wonderful work of Mother Nature and, and, _Well!_

He didn't care that he was staring. She was stunning.

Suddenly even basketball seemed like an absolutely _amazing _idea.

With difficulty Jane blinked and reminded himself that he should probably be at least _glancing_ at her face from time to time. He dragged his eyes upwards (how had he never noticed her _knees_ before, and why were all of her court skirts cut just slightly too long for him to fully appreciate them?). Jane was pleased to see that Lisbon had (somehow) apparently not noticed anything amiss.

Lisbon was in fact putting his slightly odd behaviour down to Jane being uncomfortable in his jeans. She didn't know why they made him so uncomfortable. The jeans he was wearing weren't new, so he'd obviously already owned a pair. And she had to say, he looked good in them. (Actually, the novelty of Jane in jeans had distracted her slightly and her own subtle once-over was the real reason she hadn't actually noticed that he'd been staring at _her_.)

"Hey," she said with a smile. "You're right on time."

"Of course," Jane replied with a grin, reminding himself to focus on her face _(at least when she was looking right at him)_. "Didn't want to be late for your special surprise. The one you've cruelly refused to give me any hints about," he added.

Lisbon chuckled. "Serves you right," she told him. "All those times you knew something and refused to tell me, acting all superior."

"Hey!" Jane objected. "Will you at least tell me what the plan is now?"

"I don't know..." Lisbon said slowly, drawing out her pleasure by stringing him along just a little longer. "I could wait until we get there..."

"Come on, Lisbon," Jane whined, looking his most pathetic.

She smirked, but conceded, having always intended on telling him when he arrived anyway. "Well," she conceded, "Seeing as you managed to find a pair of jeans somewhere, congratulations by the way. That must have been a task..."

"Very funny," Jane murmured, declining to admit the truth of her statement.

"I suppose I may as well tell you that we're going hiking," she told him, her smile the only indication that she'd heard his interruption. Then she waited almost nervously for his reaction.

Jane paused, considering her revelation. It was better than he'd hoped actually. Hiking was a far cry from basketball, or any other organized sport. In fact, hiking didn't require any specialized athletic ability at all. Sure, you were required to be relatively coordinated and not trip over tree roots, but while Jane didn't have the greatest stamina, he could at the very least _walk_. And since he was fairly certain Lisbon wouldn't walk him to death, hiking sounded like a wonderful idea. Particularly considering the apparent wardrobe requirements.

His face broke out into a beaming smile. "I suppose I could hike," he said, his facial expression contradicting his less than enthusiastic statement.

Lisbon smiled back, relieved that Jane seemed to approve of her little plan. Not that she'd expected him to sulk. He rarely went so far as that, but sometimes he got quiet, or worse _neutral_, and that would have put her on edge all day. But Jane was smiling, and wearing jeans. Somehow the combination of the two seemed to change his entire appearance. He looked... younger somehow. She liked the change. "I thought you needed to change things up," she told him as she turned to grab the things they'd need. "Try something new, so we're going hiking."

"Are we?" Jane asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yes," Lisbon agreed.

"I take it you hike," Jane said, as he watched her grab her bag, one she'd obviously already packed.

Lisbon shrugged, as she did a mental rundown to make sure she'd thought of everything they'd need. She had (well, she was pretty sure). "Sometimes," she told him. "When I'm not too busy with work."

"Of course," Jane agreed, wondering how often she managed to go hiking exactly, and whether he could somehow invite himself along a second time.

"I like it though," she admitted. "And I thought you might too. It could be good for you."

"Ah," Jane exclaimed triumphantly. "So this is an attempt to make me more physically active! I suspected as much."

Lisbon smirked. "You do need to exercise more," she told him. "Though I promise not to take you on a trail that's too strenuous. Just a bit of fun."

"Mm-hm," Jane said slowly. In his current mood he wasn't exactly opposed to trying some strenuous physical activity with Lisbon.

Lisbon of course didn't know about her advantage and so continued on innocently. "Besides, it'll be a change of pace, and that'll be good for you too."

"True," Jane agreed, slightly distracted and so not quite sure what he'd just agreed to.

Lisbon grinned again. "Well, I think I've got everything, so I guess we can go. Unless you need anything now that you know where we're going?"

Jane shook his head absently, and held the door open for her. As he followed her out the door, he couldn't stop his eyes from drifting downwards again.

Yep. Hiking was looking better and better all the time.

xx

For once Jane agreed that it made more sense for Lisbon to drive them, particularly since she knew where they were going. He pulled himself out of his thoughts to have a normal conversation with her in the car, asking her when she'd first started hiking. After a little evasion on her part, Lisbon admitted that she'd been hiking her entire life, and it used to be a rare Lisbon family outing every since she was a little girl.

The brief (and as usual, awkward) reference to her childhood had been enough to make Jane focus for a few minutes. He'd admitted that his family had never really gone hiking, or camping, or anything normal really. But he'd always heard about those things from other people, and he was curious to experience this 'nature' that everyone always praised to the skies.

As expected, Lisbon had laughed, and promised to act as his guide to the outdoors.

Not long after that they'd arrived at a parking lot for a local hiking trail. Not one of the busier ones, but it was far from secluded either.

Lisbon grabbed her bag, as she got out of the car. "Do you want some water or something before we start?" she asked him.

Jane shook his head.

Lisbon hesitated for a moment, obviously unsure about whether or not to say something.

"Just say it Lisbon," he suggested.

She laughed quietly. "Okay," she agreed. "It's just, if you want to talk that was fine with me, Jane, but if you decide you want to walk in silence for a while, that's fine too. Some people don't really like to talk while they hike I've found."

"Are you one of them?" Jane wondered.

Lisbon shrugged. "Depends on my mood."

"Ah."

"Yeah," she agreed. "So if you want to talk, let me know."

And then they were off, down a gently sloping trail through the woods.

Lisbon made the odd remark, pointing out a bird, or a flower, or anything else that happened to catch her interest. But the conversation wasn't particularly involved, and Jane had a fair bit of time to sort out his thoughts, which he was grateful for.

He was quiet once they started hiking, but Lisbon didn't seem to find that strange. She was quiet herself. Probably used to it, since he'd gathered she usually went hiking alone (something that made him absurdly pleased).

Jane guessed Lisbon was assuming he was taking the time to appreciate nature's wonders. He didn't disabuse her of the notion. Even if he'd barely given the woods a second glance, he was definitely appreciating natural beauty.

He definitely had some things to think about, thanks to her. Lisbon had given his libido quite the wake-up call merely by opening the door wearing (what a small part of his brain was still sane enough to admit was) a perfectly average pair of shorts. Jane had known already that he liked verbally sparring with Lisbon, liked her company, generally found her an invigorating companion, but this is a shot of straight-up physical attraction was a bit of a surprise. It'd been so very _sudden_.

Oh, he'd always found her attractive. She was a beautiful woman. But this was different. This was a double dose of pure lust. He was almost shocked by how much he was enjoying it and the novelty of his extremely physical reaction to her. Jane had been attracted to women in the past nine years, maybe even thought about them from time to time on a lonely night. But this was different. This was personal. This related specifically to _Lisbon_. And her legs. Although, now that Jane thought about it, the t-shirt she was wearing certainly wasn't unappealing. Nor was her hair, tied up out of the way in a simple, practical ponytail, and exposing her neck...

Jane was suddenly rather glad Lisbon was paying more attention to the trail than to him.

He wondered if she'd realized that he hadn't pointed out a single thing to her, despite the fact that she'd called his attention to any number of things.

But really, how could he possibly be expected to focus on anything else under the circumstances?

He could practically feel the lust humming through his veins. And he was revelling in it. It made him feel alive in a way that he hadn't in years.

Lisbon in shorts had been a second breakthrough of sorts, Jane decided. Madeleine asking him if he'd ever considered dating again had made him realize that he wanted to spend to spend more time in Lisbon's company, wanted to be able to make some sort of formal claim on her. He'd wanted to be her chosen companion. She was the person he'd always been drawn to, and so he'd gone about concocting a scheme to get that for himself. But he hadn't quite grasped exactly what a relationship with Lisbon would mean. Not until today.

Lisbon had opened the door and in about half a second made him realize how much he wanted her. Oh, he'd always assumed that their relationship would eventually progress to the physical if things worked out like he hoped, but he'd never really given that particular aspect much thought, more important things to consider and all that.

Well, he was certainly thinking about it today.

Things felt much simpler in the woods. The combination of a sexy woman and natural atmosphere was having an almost dizzying effect.

Jane wondered what Lisbon would do if he told her about it. His grin turned feral at the thought. He imagined she'd be rather shocked... His mind wandered, considering the possibilities.

xx

Lisbon was enjoying her hike quite a bit. Jane seemed content, if a little quiet. But he looked quite pleased about something so she wasn't particularly worried. She assumed he was lost in thought about something or other. And anyway, hadn't the whole point of the hike been to give him a change of scenery, a chance to decompress? That seemed to be what he was doing. If he wanted to do that quietly, that was fine. She wasn't in a particularly chatty mood herself.

And she loved this trail. Every time she was walking along it, she could practically feel the stress dripping out of her. She was glad that it seemed to be having the same effect on Jane, who looked quite relaxed in his jeans. She liked it.

Plus, he could always use the exercise, so all in all, their day was a success so far.

Lisbon smiled to herself, and turned her attention back to the canopy above her. She'd always liked the way the sun filtered through all the leaves. The dappled sun was picking up the lighter tones in Jane's hair quite nicely too.

She really did love the woods.

xx

A little while later, Jane decided that his favourite part of hiking was the sections of the trail that were too narrow to admit two people walking side-by-side. He always let Lisbon lead as he climbed behind her.

Lisbon seemed perfectly willing to go first, something he was quite grateful for. He rather liked the view as she walked in front of him. The muscles in her legs straining as she propelled herself upwards. And she was looking forward so she couldn't see him ogling her. Jane knew he was doing very little else.

Jane idly wondered if Lisbon would ogle him in his jeans if _he_ decided to take the lead.

It was an attractive idea. Excellent way of getting Lisbon to develop romantic feelings towards him. After all, he'd just experienced firsthand the effect of a strong and somewhat unexpected sexual attraction. If Lisbon could be induced to feel half of what he was, their relationship would be all but assured.

Even so, Jane wasn't sure he was willing to give up his view.

He felt like a bit of a letch, but he didn't care. He'd really done very little objectifying women in the last decade. Jane figured the universe owed him one. And actually, he wasn't _really_ objectifying her, just appreciating her... form.

Jane wondered for the millionth time in an hour, as he obediently followed her up a slight incline in the trail, how he'd gotten this lucky. Lisbon's legs were fabulous. How was there not a long line of men clamouring to take his place? Because this particular place was _amazing._

Not that he wanted the competition. He glanced around the hiking trail suspiciously looking for rivals. No one had better even try to oust him in his role as Lisbon's companion (and ogler). He'd beat them away from her with a stick. And he was in a forest so there were plenty nearby.

Anyway, he wasn't _just_ objectifying her. The attraction wasn't purely physical. And anyway, given the muscle tone in her legs, who could blame him?

He just... wanted to touch her.

As if on cue Lisbon stumbled over a tree root. Jane reached a hand up to steady her lightning-fast, his fingers curling around her elbow.

It was all he could do not to trail them along her forearm afterwards, or run a hand down her back.

Lisbon sent him a grateful smile, apparently not noticing his slightly wandering fingers.

He wanted to touch more. So much more.

And hiking trails could get awfully isolated...

Jane's eyes widened as he scolded himself half-heartedly. He couldn't very well toss the woman into a bush!

(_Could he?_)

Jane nearly groaned audibly as images of him dragging Lisbon off into the bushes flooded his brain. She'd be surprised of course, at first. And she might beat him to a pulp. But if he was forceful enough, and if she found him in jeans rather attractive (which she _definitely_ did in his fantasies), then things ended up working out rather well for him. Jane desperately tried to think of something else. He briefly considered walking in front of her in his jeans again. She did genuinely seem to like them, if only for their novelty. Then maybe Lisbon would become aroused and decide to toss _him_ into a bush. That thought brought on a second set of fantasies, and Jane found he really didn't mind who took the lead in his little scenario. After all, Lisbon _was_ good at control.

Jane had just started to give himself a little mental lecture about why he couldn't realistically shove Lisbon against a tree, when the woman in question interrupted his thoughts.

"There's a bit of a clearing coming up," she told him. "I thought we'd stop there. I brought sandwiches and snacks, if that's okay. And... Jane, is something wrong?" she asked, suddenly noticing that he looked a little... strange.

"What?" Jane asked a little too loudly. "No," he insisted, just as loudly. "Stopping sounds great," he tried to assure her in what he hoped was a normal tone of voice.

Lisbon ignored him. "Are you alright?" she asked, placing a hand on his arm, surprised when he flinched. "You look flushed. You should have said something sooner. We could have stopped. I have some water, and snacks. Here..." she said, taking off her backpack and moving to open it.

Jane grabbed her wrist to stop her. "I'm fine, Teresa," he assured her, taking a step closer, now on the edge of her personal space. "We can stop where you planned. Don't worry."

She looked up at him, the concern in her eyes shifting to confusion when she saw the look in his. "Okay," she said softly. "If you're sure."

Jane focussed on her eyes and reminded himself that he wanted to win her affections, not just her body. He smiled softly. "I'm sure. I may not be the most athletic person you know..."

"Ha!"

"But I think I can manage to walk to the clearing, especially since I believe I can _see_ the edge of it from here," Jane said dryly.

"Okay," Lisbon agreed. "But you'd tell me if something was wrong, like if you were feeling a bit dizzy? Because if you're not used to hiking..."

"I feel fine, Teresa," Jane assured her again. "I promise." He was feeling a little dizzy, but he knew it had nothing at all to do with dehydration.

"Okay," Lisbon said, re-shouldering her backpack, and eyeing him in concern.

Jane chuckled at her expression and sent her a reassuring smile. "I know I've been a bit quiet," he said slowly.

"S'okay," Lisbon said with a shrug. "I told you that."

"I know," he agreed. "But I have enjoyed our little excursion very much so far," He told her.

Lisbon's face brightened into a pleased little smile just as they reached the clearing she'd told him about. She ducked her head slightly. "Yeah?" she asked.

Jane's expression softened. "Yeah," he assured her.

"Good."

He looked around. "I assume this is the clearing you meant."

"Mmhm," Lisbon hummed. "The view's pretty nice. And I find it's a good place to stop sometimes. I brought food, like I said. So I thought we could stop here, unless you..."

"This is fine," Jane told her, interrupting. "After all, I don't know the trail. So it makes sense for me to follow your lead here."

"Yeah, well, you don't always tend to like following my lead," Lisbon reminded him dryly.

Jane resisted the urge to laugh. If only she knew. "Today you can be in charge," he promised her. "At least when it comes to our hiking route."

"Thanks," she said dryly, as she passed him a sandwich and a bottle of water.

"You're welcome," he said cheerfully, glancing discretely at her as she stretched out on the grass. "You go hiking often?" he asked casually.

She shrugged. "When I can. I told you that."

Jane resisted the urge to scowl. She was being particularly difficult. "I meant how often do you think you go?" he clarified.

Lisbon considered the question. "About once a month," she said after a moment. "More if you count the longish walks I take some weekday evenings. But I probably only get out to one of the parks once, maybe twice, a month."

"You should try to go more," Jane said softly.

Lisbon looked at him curiously. "Why?"

"Because it's obvious that you love it," he said. "You're so relaxed."

"I..." Lisbon stuttered, trying to come up with an explanation. "It's just that..."

Jane put a hand over hers. "I'm not criticizing Lisbon," he said gently. "It's a good thing. It's nice to see."

"Oh."

Jane was pleased to see a blush rise up on her cheeks. "If you ever want company," he said, realizing he'd have to fish for the invitation.

"_Really?_" Lisbon replied pleased, finally realizing what he was doing. Yes, Jane had said he was enjoying the hike, but she'd thought maybe he was just being polite.

Jane met her eyes. "I find myself appreciating hiking in a way I never expected," he confided with a charming smile.

"I'll let you know the next time I'm going then," she told him with an ear-splitting grin.

Jane shot her another grin in return, one which could only be described as boyish. Lisbon thrilled in seeing it. Anything that helped him let go of a little of the darkness around him, if only for a minute was a good thing. She lay back on the grass. "I never expected you to enjoy hiking so much," she confided.

"Neither did I," Jane admitted, flopping down beside her. "Not that I knew what you were actually planning, but after I heard the required wardrobe I thought today might be horrible."

"Oh?" Lisbon prompted curiously.

"I was living in near mortal dread that you'd make me play basketball," Jane confided.

Lisbon dissolved into laughter. "Give me some credit, Jane," she rebuked him lightly. "I know you better than that."

"Yes you do," he murmured, smiling at her. Then something occurred to him. Propping himself up on his elbows, Jane looked around before picking one of the wild asters growing in the grass around them. Lisbon watched him, bemused as he solemnly showed her the flower, before tucking it in her hair, just above her ear. "There," he whispered. The single flash of colour from the trail she loved seemed so much more appropriate that any flowers he could have bought her.

She just smiled.

Just as Jane opened his mouth to say something he wasn't sure about, Lisbon pointed out a cloud that looked surprisingly like a camel.

xxxxx

Lisbon waved as Jane got into his little car and drove off.

Hiking had been a surprising success.

She was happy. And she'd been feeling that way more and more often lately. Apparently Jane was too. Obviously her attempts to get him out more were going well. In fact, she was having more success than she'd ever expected.

Well, if what Jane said was anything to go by.

But actually, she didn't just have to go by what Jane _said_. He'd been obviously relaxed and cheerful on their hike, and he'd fished for a future invitation. If he'd been being polite, he wouldn't have needed to do that. No, Jane had genuinely enjoyed himself.

Lisbon's face crinkled slightly in confusion. Still, she had caught him looking a little strange from time to time. And if he'd been anyone else, she'd have sworn he'd checked her out at least once.

It was possible, Jane was definitely human. He had paid her compliments on her appearance before.

And he was a man.

Lisbon smirked. He had looked awfully good in those jeans. Shame he didn't wear them more often. Although, if they were going hiking again...

Jane was a rather attractive man. That had always been one of the side benefits of his company (the occasionally covetous glances of other women never ceased to amuse her as well). The hiking just added a little more variety. Lisbon chuckled to herself and shook her head over her thoughts. She should be more sensible. You'd have thought she'd have learned that by now.

On the other hand, Jane would say she was _too _sensible.

She watched his car until it was out of sight.

Yes, she was quite enjoying his company. He made a surprisingly good friend.

Then she pushed her passing sentimentality out of her mind. She had things to do.

xxxxx


	7. Step 7: Sort out some of your issues

A/N: So, not sure if there'll be a chapter tomorrow or not, but there will be one Monday for sure. Just so you all know. Also, glad people liked the last chapter. The mood shifts slightly in this one, but I hope you like it anyway.

xxxxx

**7. Step Seven: Try and sort out some of your issues (alcohol recommended but not required)**

xxxxx

Emboldened by the success of her surprise hiking trip, Lisbon was quick to suggest other outings with Jane, (far more than he had ever expected, not that he was complaining). They did all sorts of things together, shared meals, watched movies (both at the theatre and on Lisbon's couch). There were walks in the park, and even the odd visit to a local museum. After about six weeks, it was rare that the two of them didn't spend at least a couple of evenings a week in each other's company.

Lisbon was quite enjoying the change.

To her surprise, Jane even started strongly hinting that they should go on another hiking trip. He suggested a date, told Lisbon to pick the location, and assured her that he'd take care of everything else. Lisbon was mildly irritated that he somehow managed to choose the hottest day of the month to have it on. Still, that was what shorts and tank tops were for, and she had to admit that the weather hadn't been too bad in the shade of the trees. Anyway, she found she didn't really care about the heat after Jane had showed up at her door (again in jeans) smiling and excited about his brand new backpack, which he assured her was full of all the proper supplies.

Lisbon brought her own bag as a back-up, but didn't end up needing it, something Jane was inordinately smug about.

Lisbon found it somewhat ironic that the team member she now spent the most time with was Patrick Jane in lieu of the fact that approximately three hours after first meeting him she'd seriously considered un-holstering her gun and shooting him between the eyes. She was also fairly certain that she only got through those first few months because about half of the bureau told her daily that she'd never be able to put up with him and she'd always been a bit contrary. Lisbon knew that Jane only stuck it out with _her_ in the beginning because he was determined to be as close to the Red John case as possible. All that was well and truly in the past now.

Now their relationship was based on something more than their mutual stubbornness. Their working relationship was good. They worked well together and Lisbon was glad to have Jane around to provide a little levity or a bit of a distraction.

Especially on cases like their last one.

Their suspect had refused to come quietly. Actually, he'd refused to come at all. And when he'd lunged at Rigsby with a knife, Lisbon had been forced to protect her agent. She took the shot.

It had been necessary, but that didn't make it _good_.

Now she just wanted to get out of the office. Her paperwork was done, and it was late. She needed to leave. But where would she go? Home to face an empty apartment and the thoughts swirling inside her head? That option wasn't much better. Stress release at the shooting range was a no go for obvious reasons and it was too late to go to the gym. Those were pretty much the usual options.

Sometimes the usual options really sucked.

Movement in her doorway caused Lisbon to look up. She almost smiled in spite of herself. "I thought you left over an hour ago."

Jane merely leaned against her doorjamb and raised his eyebrows, obviously unimpressed by the implication that he'd have left her alone in her current mood.

"The rest of the team gone?" Lisbon asked when he didn't say anything.

"A while ago," Jane confirmed.

"Well, it's late," Lisbon murmured. "Case is closed, as it were."

Jane took a step into the room, "How are you?" he wondered.

Lisbon was about to insist that she was fine when she changed her mind. "Want to get a drink?" she asked softly.

Jane raised his eyebrows a second time at the invitation, but he didn't object. Instead he helped her with her coat and ushered her gently out of her office.

Lisbon let herself relax briefly against the hand lightly at her waist.

After all, if she was honest, Jane's company was what she'd wanted all along.

xx

Lisbon chose a bar not too far from where she lived. She'd been there a couple of times before and knew it was reasonably quiet. Right now she wasn't in the mood for noise. Jane seemed not to care where they went. Before climbing into his car, he simply told her to go wherever she wanted and he'd follow.

And follow he had, perfectly content to let her lead. Then he'd let her get settled in a booth before offering to get their drinks. Apparently Jane was in the mood to hover. Lisbon had noticed a while ago that if he thought something might be wrong, he didn't necessarily try to talk to her about it, but he did tend to float around her, watching. It used to drive her crazy, then she'd kind of gotten used to it. And letting Jane fetch her drinks sounded kind of appealing right about now.

She'd started to call him back to tell him what she wanted when she realized she probably didn't need to.

Lisbon leaned on her hand and occupied herself by watching Jane's progress at the bar. The place wasn't packed, but it was busy enough so he had a little bit of a wait. Her lips quirked up in amusement as a blonde woman casually sidled up to him.

Lisbon wasn't close enough to actually hear their conversation, but she could make a guess. The woman was desperately trying to engage Jane somehow and Jane was definitely not cooperating. Lisbon figured he probably wasn't in the mood to be hit on, but it looked like he was barely being civil. Lisbon wasn't sure he'd said more than four words to the woman. The brunette shook her head. And Jane was surprised that he was having trouble meeting new people. Not that Lisbon wanted to lose his company for the evening, but _really..._ For someone who'd once claimed that he could seduce almost anyone, Jane was either oblivious or not even trying.

Eventually the blonde woman gave up with a frown of disappointment. A few minutes later, Jane was coming back to the booth where Lisbon was toying with the salt and pepper shakers.

She smiled briefly at the scotch on the rocks that Jane placed in front of her, raising an eyebrow when he dropped a hand over her shoulders possessively in the process.

He ignored her look, apparently distracted by something on the other side of the room.

Lisbon decided she was too tired to ask him about it. Instead she asked him about his new friend from the bar.

"Hm?" Jane asked, startled.

Lisbon nodded towards the bar. "The blonde woman in the corner seemed quite interested in talking to you."

Jane relaxed slightly. "Oh, her. Yeah, she wouldn't take the hint." The woman, _Nancy something-or-other_, had certainly been determined. It was irritating. She must have noticed he was already with someone, especially after he'd dropped a very broad hint to that effect (by which he meant he'd straight out told Nancy he was with someone already). Jane had finally had to tell the woman he wasn't in the mood to talk. And the worst part of it was Irritating Nancy had been the least of his problems. Jane had noticed a man in the far corner of the bar eyeing Lisbon from the moment Jane had left her alone at their table. Jane had been half afraid the guy would make some kind of a move while he was busy getting their drinks. If that had happened, Jane would have inevitably done something rash (like storming back to the booth and telling the jerk to get the hell away from his Lisbon).

Jane didn't care if Lisbon liked it or not. He wanted to talk to her, wanted her all to himself. She was sad, quiet. Jane could practically see her eyes begging for someone to sit beside her (and he'd be damned if he'd let the idiot across the room give it at try). It wasn't an expression Jane saw on her face very often, and he was determined to be the one who sat with her so she didn't have to be alone with her thoughts.

But first he had to chase away the idiot in the corner. Jane had returned to the booth as quickly as possible, set down their drinks, and dropped an unmistakably possessive hand on Lisbon's shoulder while glaring into the corner. If the idiot wanted to make a move, he'd have his work cut out for him. Jane had every intention of fighting for Lisbon's company. A small corner of Jane's brain was amused when the guy actually raised his hands in surrender. Maybe Nancy from the bar had noticed as well, killing two birds with one stone. That would have been lucky.

Also lucky was the fact that Lisbon had only noticed one of the potential interlopers.

"Not exactly the best way to meet new people," Lisbon reminded him.

Jane frowned. "I'm not here to meet new people," he said slowly.

Lisbon tilted her head affectionately. "I know you're not," she told him. "But if you act like that when you go out in general, you'll never meet people. You're not always the friendliest person when we go out, Jane."

"You're hardly a social butterfly," Jane pointed out a bit crankily. After all, she could at least appreciate that he didn't want to make new friends. He wanted to get closer to _her_ (the fact that he'd implied that he wanted the former when he'd manipulated her into going out with him didn't enter into Jane's mind at all).

Lisbon shrugged. "I know, but I'm not the one trying to fit back into normal society."

"And here I was thinking I was spending time with you. Silly me," Jane muttered, finding himself quite annoyed by the turn their conversation had taken.

Lisbon winced. She'd hurt his feelings. "I know, Jane," she told him. "And that's sweet. I was just saying, snubbing women isn't the best way to get back out there, if you ever did want to consider dating."

Jane bit back an angry retort in the nick of time. He didn't want to argue with her, or worse (and more likely) to hurt her. "I didn't want to flirt with Nancy, Lisbon," he said tiredly. "I'm not in the mood, socially healthy or not. I'm sorry if my apparent lack of social progress upsets you."

Lisbon sat back, moving away from him. "That's not what I meant. I was just... never mind. I was just pointing out that you were obviously brushing her off, but if you didn't like her that's your business."

Jane stared at her. Why couldn't she see that he didn't _want_ strangers at the bar? He was perfectly happy with his current companion. He was sure Lisbon would provide far more interesting conversation than Nancy, the corporate secretary at the bar with her overly friendly smile. Now it was Jane's turn to lean away from her, brooding into his scotch.

Lisbon sighed. "I'm sorry Jane," she said. "I didn't mean to make you... I'm glad you didn't decide to stay at the bar." She hoped he'd accept the apology. She was already having a terrible day, they both were. She'd just been making conversation and it had somehow gotten out of hand.

Jane felt the hint of a smile at the edges of his mouth. He leaned back towards her. "I came here to talk to you," he reminded her.

"I'm not the most social person either," she said dryly. "Especially on days like today."

"Excellent. We can be antisocial together," Jane said softly.

Lisbon felt her shoulders relax for the first time in hours. Jane would sit with her, for as long as she wanted him to. She was suddenly sure of that fact.

"How're you doing?" Jane asked, sipping his drink.

She shrugged. "You know how it is."

Jane watched her carefully. She seemed fine enough, but she'd always been good at hiding what was in her head. "But I don't know what to say," he admitted.

Lisbon was surprised by the admission. "I don't either. No matter how many times this sort of thing happens."

"You did the right thing?" Jane suggested tentatively.

"I know," Lisbon said with a cynical smile over the over-used platitude she'd heard too many times in her life already. The fact that it was true wasn't often particularly helpful. "Still shot someone though."

"I'm glad you did," Jane joked. "I've kind of gotten used to having Rigsby around. He's finally learned how to make a decent cup of tea."

Lisbon almost laughed. "I'll be sure to tell him about your excessive concern."

Jane shrugged. "He'll get over it."

Lisbon nodded.

Jane shifted his hand across the table to her. She was still deep in her head. He needed to pull her out a bit or she'd be swimming in those waters all night. "I do have some idea how you feel, Teresa," he reminded her.

Lisbon looked up sharply. Then she relaxed. "I guess you did shoot someone to save me once," she said.

Jane watched her. It wasn't the only time he'd used a gun and they both knew it. Still, he didn't think bringing up the second time would be a good idea right now. "I never regretted that," he assured her. "And unlike you, Miss I-own-four-firearms, I really _hate _guns."

"Did I ever thank you for that?" Lisbon wondered. "For saving me?"

"Now that you mention it, I don't think you did," Jane grinned. "At the time I think you were too busy being annoyed because you felt like you owed me."

"Hm. Well, thanks," she said with a hint of a smile.

"Sure," Jane said with a wave of his hand. "I'm just glad that in an emergency I can shoot straight."

Lisbon lapsed into silence, thinking about Jane's complicated attitude towards guns. "Do you ever regret it?" she asked suddenly.

"Regret what?" Jane wondered, unsure where her thoughts had taken her.

She sighed, and asked the million-dollar question, "That you didn't get to kill Red John. I know you planned to shoot him."

He paused, considering. "Sometimes," he admitted. "Briefly."

That surprised her, "Just briefly?"

"I shot Red John once, remember Lisbon?" Jane said, his tone clipped. "Or someone I thought was Red John anyway."

As if she could forget. "I know."

"That didn't work out so well for me," Jane reminded her dryly.

"I know that too," Lisbon said just as dryly. "Though if I recall, your opinion was somewhat different at the time."

"Yeah, but then I didn't much like jail," Jane admitted.

"No?" she asked hopefully.

He almost laughed. "It put a few things in perspective, Lisbon," he admitted. "Still wanted the bastard dead, but I didn't want to have to go to jail afterwards."

"_Oh,_" Lisbon exhaled, surprised at the level of her own relief. She took another sip of her drink. "You always did want to have your cake and eat it too."

"Of course," Jane agreed. "Besides, we were in one of the cars that chased him into that pole. I did basically run him to his death. I admit that helped."

"We were there to see him die," Lisbon agreed. She'd never forget her own shock that a decade-long chase had ended because of slippery road conditions.

"So I helped get Red John in the end," Jane added. "Him and his little system of serial-killers in waiting." It had been an exhausting last few years, tracing all the moles and murderers, until the entire network of psychotics had been killed or contained. "I couldn't have done it without you though," he told the woman sitting across from him. "You were beside me all the time, weren't you?"

"Almost," Lisbon agreed, toying with her glass. She'd been there _almost_ all of the time. She _hadn't_ been there when he'd fired the damn gun and killed a decoy. She'd let him walk right into one of Red John's mental games because she'd wanted to check in on her ex-boss.

Jane looked at her sharply. "I'd just _shot a man_, Lisbon. And you'd been shot yourself. Even _I _didn't expect you to stick by me then."

That didn't matter in her mind. Logic didn't matter. That was the problem. "I..."

"No! Don't do that!" Jane hissed. "I deserved everything I got. And you've always been better than I deserved."

Lisbon closed her eyes. "I didn't like you in jail either, Jane." That was an understatement. She'd barely slept those few months, even if part of her had hoped he stayed in there to pay for what he'd done. She'd been so angry with him for weeks. It'd taken several months more for her to come to terms with what he'd done.

"I know," Jane whispered. "But it all sorted itself out, in the end."

"Yeah," she whispered. The mess had resolved itself. In a way. But they never really talked about it. Lisbon didn't know why she'd decided to bring it up today of all days. Her brain was already swimming.

Jane took her hand. "Thank you, Teresa."

She sighed. She hadn't really done anything. Anyway, it was her job to catch Red John too. She'd been doing her job. "You don't have to..."

"I do," Jane assured her.

Lisbon tried to shrug it off, "Well, you've already thanked me."

"Then I'll do it again," he said firmly.

Lisbon forced herself to relax, "You're welcome Jane."

The two of them lapsed into silence again, both lost in their own thoughts.

"I don't know how I feel about it sometimes," Jane admitted. "Shooting the wrong Red John I mean. Maybe I'll never know."

"Some things are like that," Lisbon said non-judgementally.

"Part of me still feels like I got off too easy, part of me feels like the idiot got exactly what he deserved." Jane added. "Even if he wasn't Red John, he was clearly loyal to him."

"I don't know Jane," Lisbon said. "I've been over it time and time again in my head, and I just don't know. All I could do is stop thinking about it."

"Yeah," Jane exhaled.

Lisbon watched him carefully. This was one of the reasons procedure appealed to her. Less room for self-doubt it you're following standardized rules. Though she'd learned long ago that a lot of people didn't see things the way she did. "Bosco shot a man once," Lisbon said softly after a moment.

Jane looked up in surprise.

Lisbon met his eyes. "Not in the line of duty," she clarified unnecessarily. "And not out of self-defence. I was the only one who knew the truth. He shot a man because he felt like he had to, felt like if he didn't more people would be dead, and the law wouldn't be able to do anything about it."

Jane was still staring at her. "You don't have to tell me this, Teresa."

"I know," she sighed. She wanted to. She'd been holding onto so many people's secrets for so damn long. They were all tangled in her brain and sometimes she felt like she'd never get them straight.

Jane brushed his thumb along the back of her hand. "If you feel like it's his secret..."

Lisbon shook her head. "He's gone. It can't hurt him anymore. Only one person it can hurt now... And anyway, you're not going to tell anyone."

She looked up then, her eyes heartbreakingly hopeful. "No," Jane promised, his fingers tightening around hers unconsciously. "I'm not." He would never use this information against her. The only reason he ever would have was if he needed leverage for Red John, and that was gone now. He wanted her to trust him with her secrets without fear that he'd use them against her.

"I didn't know what to do," Lisbon whispered. "I..."

"You covered," Jane said softly.

"I had to. Or I felt like I did anyway," she explained. "He was my partner, one of the only people I'd ever..." She broke off, unsure how to explain it.

"You loved him," Jane said, filling in the blank. He'd known Bosco's feelings had been mutual for a long time.

She shook her head softly. "Not in the way you're thinking."

"I wasn't thinking _that,_" Jane assured her. He thought he understood a little of what their relationship had been. Two people who'd found the perfect partner for a particularly difficult job. They'd been platonic life partners, until something neither of them could deal with tore them apart.

"We..." Lisbon sighed. "We were close. Closer than a lot of partners, but never in an inappropriate way."

"I know," Jane assured her.

"I felt like I had to save him," Lisbon admitted. "Bosco, he pulled me out of my hellish life and... and..."

"And you felt safe on his team," Jane guessed. She'd felt secure for probably the first time in years. He knew what that feeling could do to a person, especially when it was suddenly gone.

"I was a fool, trying to make everything go back to the way it was. Like it could be that way again," Lisbon said cynically.

No, it couldn't have. And it explained a lot about her. "Is that why you sometimes try to keep your team at arm's length now, Teresa?" Jane asked gently.

"I couldn't deal with it," she admitted. "Couldn't deal with a man I'd literally idolized break the laws that we'd sworn to uphold."

"You always have had an almost romantic faith in the legal system," Jane teased.

His comment succeeded in coaxing a smile out of her. "Shut up."

"Sorry, just making an observation," he joked, but he let her talk. She needed it. This story had probably been building up inside her for the better part of fifteen years.

The corners of Lisbon's mouth quirked up again briefly. "I couldn't deal with it," she said again. "I had to get away, far away. I left the city. And I swore I'd never get in that deep again, with anyone. Bosco was the one who taught me how to be a cop. Watching him go back on it all..."

"I think I get it," Jane assured her.

Lisbon continued as if he hadn't spoken. "And the most ridiculous part was that, between Bosco and I, everyone always said _I _was the more reckless one. _I _was ambitious. _I _was the one that people would have suspected of killing a man in cold blood if it had come up."

"You do have your unexpectedly unorthodox moments, Teresa," Jane said, deliberately using her first name. "And you're far more flexible with the rules than most people give you credit for, definitely more than I gave you credit for when we first started working together. But there are lines you never cross, and you never will. That's the difference between you and Sam."

"I crossed the line for him though, in the end," she said so quietly Jane almost didn't hear it.

He leaned closer, trying to catch her eyes. "Legally maybe, but not personally."

Lisbon looked up at him then, curious and vulnerable.

Jane's expression softened. "Protecting people you consider _yours_ will always come before the legal system, Teresa. Just look at our relationship over the years."

"I didn't protect you when _you_ shot someone," she said, familiar guilt surfacing again.

"Apples and oranges," Jane assured her with a wave of his hand. Though at the time it might have stung a little, even if he had understood. "I shot my person in front of a room full of witnesses, something I'm sure sensible ol' Sam had the good sense not to do."

"I always told you I'd arrest you if you shot Red John," Lisbon said, her voice strong. "I meant it."

"I know."

The strength dropped out of her voice. "You must have thought I was such a damn hypocrite."

Jane looked up sharply then. "_No._"

"I'd done it for Sam, and you had to have guessed that," she reminded Jane. "So apparently I was okay with covering up other people's crimes."

"You covered up any number of my crimes," Jane pointed out.

Lisbon shrugged. "Most of them weren't that serious. Not really. Although I still can't believe you hired someone to break into LaRoche's house."

"I still can't believe you punched the suspect in the nose," Jane admitted.

"You needed the charges dropped," Lisbon shrugged. "Still annoyed about that suspension by the way."

"You wouldn't have been suspended if you'd tried to cover up the shooting, though," Jane told her. "You'd have been sent to prison."

"You must have wondered, what changed though, why I was so mad at you for doing what Bosco did," Lisbon pressed. She needed to know. If they were going to have this conversation, may as well do it right. "I know you thought about it."

Jane chose his words carefully, "I guess in the end I decided that it wasn't so much hypocrisy as cause and effect."

"Oh," she said, shocked by his conclusion.

Jane pulled back awkwardly and played with his coaster. The expression in her eyes was making him uncomfortable. "Yeah."

"You were right," Lisbon told him. She hadn't covered for Jane because covering the first murder had almost killed her. She'd promised herself never again. Thefts, lying she could help him with. Not murder.

"I know," Jane said with a touch of pride. It had taken him years to figure that out about her. She played it all so close to the vest.

"He broke my heart, Jane." Lisbon whispered.

Her consultant sighed. He wondered if this was what she thought about every time she had to fire her gun at someone. "I know."

Lisbon's voice broke slightly, "He was the first person I'd really trusted in so long..." she explained again.

"I know," Jane said again, reaching for her hand, wishing he could chase the haunted expression from her eyes.

"Life sucks sometimes," she added, resisting the urge to put her head on the table.

"You must have been particularly thrilled when you got yours truly on your team, spouting about how I was going to shoot a man in cold blood," Jane said dryly, trying to turn the subject slightly.

Lisbon shrugged. "At least you never lied to me about that."

"Why didn't you give up on me, Teresa?" Jane wondered, asking the question that had been bothering him for years.

"I don't know," she said quickly.

"Okay."

"I really don't. I didn't want to give up on you. I... I wanted to help you... I... I wanted the law to be _right_ the second time around," she said quietly, letting go of his hand to run hers through her hair.

"In a way, it was," Jane told her. "But Red John corrupted the legal system, so we had to go outside it sometimes."

"That's the nicest way of putting it I've ever heard," she said with a smile.

Jane returned it. "I thought you'd like that."

"I do," she whispered. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me," Jane joked. "How do you think I sleep at night?"

"I wasn't aware that you did," Lisbon replied dryly.

"I'm getting a little better," he assured her.

That made her smile. "Really?"

"These last couple months or so," he admitted.

Since he'd told her he wanted to try living a normal life again at the coffee shop. "_Oh," _Lisbon said stupidly.

"Yes. So I'm very glad you didn't give up on me Teresa, even though neither of us quite know why that is," Jane explained.

"Jane..."

"And I never thought you were hypocritical," he told her again. "Complex, intriguing, stubborn, idealistic, pragmatic, a million other things, but never hypocritical."

She slid her hand back towards his.

"I was jealous as hell of Bosco though," Jane said taking a sip of his drink.

_That_ admission shocked her, "_What?"_

"I didn't think you were hypocritical for covering for him, but it did occur to me that you let him get closer to you than you'd ever let me," Jane explained. "And you trusted him more. I was jealous of that."

Lisbon was still staring at him like he'd grown a second head. "I didn't know it bothered you, that you wanted..."

"I did... do," Jane assured her.

"Why?" she whispered before she could stop herself.

"For the same reason you didn't abandon me to reap what I sowed, I guess," Jane said with a shrug.

She stared at him, speechless. She'd always known that she'd been drawn to Jane somehow, that she couldn't leave him to his own devices. She'd never really considered the possibility that it might go both ways. He'd always been so caught up in the idea of revenge.

"Did it never occur to you that the same indescribable urge you felt to stick by me might go both ways?" Jane demanded, upon seeing her face. "Damn it Teresa, I was right beside you when you had a bomb strapped to your chest. In fact I was _driving you around._"

To her shock she felt tears pricking in her eyes. She tightened her hand around his.

"I swore I'd never have what I let happen with Sam again," Lisbon whispered. "It seemed to work. I deliberately didn't get as close to Cho, not in the same way at least. And so it never hurt nearly as much whenever he disobeyed my orders and went off on some rogue plan of his own. So I figured I was right."

"What about when I disobeyed your orders?" Jane wondered, half afraid of what the answer would be.

"For some reason yours weren't as bad. You weren't supposed to know better," she admitted. "Don't get me wrong, I still wanted to shoot you sometimes, but somehow it wasn't as bad."

"Teresa..."

She shook her head. "Cho was my second in command, never my partner. The distance seemed to be working. Not with you though. And I dug my heels in, _deep_. I tried to stay objective. And then history repeated itself. You shot someone."

"But this time you stayed," Jane reminded her.

"Because you never lied to me. You never tried to deceive me, or brush it under the rug, and somehow that made all the difference," she explained. "I really don't know, Jane."

She had stayed. "And now I want to stay when you're having a bad day. Will you let me sit with you a little while, Teresa?" he asked.

To Jane's surprise, he noticed her eyes fill with tears.

"Please," she whispered. God help her, she didn't want him to go. She knew he would leave eventually, but she also knew it wouldn't be tonight.

"Let me get you another drink," Jane wheedled. "Then we can sit some more."

"You're driving me home then," she told him, not objecting. She wouldn't mind another scotch.

Jane smiled. "I'll even pick you up tomorrow and take you back to your car," he promised.

"Okay then," she whispered.

"Be right back," Jane said with a smile. "Don't go anywhere."

Lisbon smiled back. She had no intention of it. She never had.

xxxxx


	8. Step 8: Learn to actually communicate

A/N: So, turns out I do have internet access today (I wasn't sure I would), so here we have it. Chapter 8. To those of you requesting a different mood from the last chapter, well... It's different. Not sure it's what you guys meant... And thanks again to everyone who reviewed! I am behind on my review replies (again), but I am going to try to catch up. I am. Anyways, here we go. Hope you enjoy! The response to this story has really been lovely!

xxxxx**  
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**8. Step Eight: Learn to actually communicate with her, even if you're both screaming at the top of your lungs**

xxxxx

Lisbon stormed into her apartment, violently tossing her briefcase in one direction and her jacket in another.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid. Damn flea-brained, impulsive, uncaring, _idiot_. How could he do that? How could he be so insane_? _She'd wring his neck with her bare hands when she found him.

I'm Jane. I'll just go have a chat with a heavily armed, highly unstable psychopath without telling anyone (let alone my _boss_) where I'm going. Because with my ability to negotiate tactfully and extensive training in self-defence, that is something that I am completely qualified to do. _Oh wait a second..._

Lisbon wrenched her fridge door open, uncaring that half the things in it shook precariously as a result. It'd been sheer dumb luck that he'd escaped with his neck! Damn that man! She grabbed a coke from the door and opened the can with shaking hands.

Why was he so reckless? And he'd been so damn unconcerned afterwards, just as he always was. But she'd thought... she'd thought he'd been making progress.

She'd thought that he'd been beginning to see the importance of his own damn life.

Lisbon rested her head against the refrigerator. They'd been spending so much time together lately; she'd thought she'd been getting through to him, helping him adapt back into society. Apparently not; it was hard to have any sort of meaningful life or relationship when you didn't give a damn about your own damn survival.

She was worried Jane didn't.

Oh, sure. What he'd done today was certainly noble, brave even. But reckless, horribly reckless. He'd probably saved a girl's life, but that wasn't the point. If he'd bothered to run what he was doing past her, his nominal supervisor, the whole situation could have been avoided (at least the part about Jane needing saving. Unfortunately, the almost-victim would have needed saving either way). And if Jane hadn't been such an idiot, Lisbon wouldn't have felt her heart drop out of her chest when she finally realized what was going on (too late to help, just too late).

She hated when any of her people were in danger, Jane even more so because he wasn't trained. It was one thing for something like this to happen accidentally, but he'd walked right into this one.

Apparently without a moment's worry.

Damn, damn, damn him.

And now Lisbon was standing in her empty apartment, angry and frustrated, while he was probably off somewhere, breezily finishing off his evening without a thought to what his actions might have meant to another person.

xx

Jane paused outside her front door.

Something was up with Lisbon and he was determined to find out what. She'd been very quiet ever since they'd gotten back to the CBI building that evening. Oh, she'd asked him if she was alright, and yelled at him for nearly getting himself killed. If anything she'd been a little angrier than usual when she did it. But then, afterwards, it was like it was all gone, all the emotion.

She'd congratulated him on saving Annie's life, told him that was good, but then she'd retreated, in a way she hadn't in months (not since Red John's death actually). Jane wanted to know why.

And he was nervous about it. After all, the stakes were higher now if he pushed her away. Much higher.

Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Taking a deep breath, Jane raised his hand to knock.

xx

Lisbon let him into her apartment wordlessly.

Jane frowned, and followed her in. Her continued silence was not a good sign. Lisbon yelling at him was bad enough; Lisbon silent was ten times worse.

"Do you want anything to drink?" she asked neutrally, picking up her Coke.

"No thanks," Jane replied.

"Suit yourself," she said with a shrug.

"Lisbon?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Something wrong?" he asked tentatively.

"Why would anything be wrong?" she asked scathingly.

Jane's frown deepened. He opened his mouth to answer, but she cut him off.

"Why would anything be wrong at all? After all, one of my people nearly got his damn fool self killed today because he was careless. And he apparently doesn't give a damn about it either!"

"Lisbon!" Jane interjected, shocked, forgetting his previous conclusion that Lisbon yelling at him would be a welcome sign.

"You almost got killed!" she snapped. "You weren't thinking!"

Jane stared at her incredulously for a second. "I saved a girl's life!"

"I know that!" Lisbon all but growled in frustration. "But there could have been another way!"

Jane shook his head quickly, "Not by the time I got there!"

"Then you could have told me where you were going so at least I knew where you were! Why didn't you?" she demanded.

"It was a hunch!" he shot back. "I've explained this to you before; I can't tell you about all of my hunches. It would take too long!"

"You could tell me them when they lead you to drive across the city in search of a crazy man!" Lisbon argued.

"You're angry with me?" Jane double-checked in surprise. After all, he genuinely _had_ saved a young woman's life.

"Oh, very perceptive of you!" Lisbon said sarcastically.

"Lisbon!" Jane said again, genuinely unsure where her apparently irrational anger was coming from.

"I'm so mad at you right now, I can barely look at you," Lisbon explained. "I get that you like to take chances, but I thought part of that was over, with... with _his death_. But apparently I was wrong!"

"Hey!" he said softly, taking a step forward (and beginning to understand a little). "That's not fair."

"Life's not fair!" Lisbon snapped, taking a step back.

Since she seemed to be in the mood for confrontation, Jane indulged her. "What would you have me do? Let Annie Perez die?"

"Of course not, you idiot," Lisbon shook her head.

"You're right, I could have told you," Jane admitted, attempting a peace offering. "I _would_ have, if I'd known things would happen like they did. I _didn't_. I did the best I could under the circumstances." He wasn't sure why she couldn't see that. Usually she was pretty good about his plans. He didn't like this anger; its source worried him.

"I don't know if your best is good enough," Lisbon said, crossing her arms. When she saw the flash of hurt cross his face she felt a little badly, but she was too irritated (too frightened) to care.

"Apparently my best is often inadequate in your eyes," Jane grumbled, more than a little hurt. "Though everyone else thinks I did fine."

"Jane, you're not trained for those situations," Lisbon explained. "You should have taken someone with you."

"I told you, I didn't know today would end up being one of 'those' situations," Jane explained for what felt like the tenth time in five minutes. "Now you're just being unreasonable."

His remark was hardly the type to pacify his companion. Lisbon looked positively aghast. "_I'm _being unreasonable?"

"Yes!" Jane confirmed.

She could feel the anger raging inside of her. The stupid, reckless _moron. _"Shut up!"

"Oh, nice," Jane said, his tone cool with just the slightest hint of bite.

"I said, shut up!" Lisbon repeated. Did he not get that he'd almost died? That she'd had to drive halfway across town, stuck in slow-moving rush hour traffic, _terrified_ that she'd get there and he'd already be dead on the ground when she arrived? "You don't get to talk right now. Not when you have no idea what you're talking about. None whatsoever. I have to send my team out all the time, knowing that one of you might not come back. At least with the others I know they've been trained in these situations. So I send them out. It's my job and it's their job... But with you, I... You're so reckless sometimes. And you don't have the training and..."

She trailed off when her voice broke, and Jane finally got it. He'd frightened her, really frightened her. And Lisbon wasn't always great at dealing with her emotions. He took a tentative step towards her, relieved when she didn't retreat from him a second time. "Lisbon, I..."

"What if something had happened to you?" she asked, eyes shining.

"Nothing did," he tried to assure her.

"_Jane,_" Lisbon said unimpressed.

"Then hopefully I still would have saved a young girl's life," he admitted. In his opinion, there was nothing else to say under the circumstances.

"Jane..." Lisbon said again, this time her tone angry.

"You'd have done the same thing," Jane pointed out.

"It's not the same," Lisbon shot back quickly.

Jane decided to ignore her ridiculous double standard for a moment. "You'd have still stepped in to save the girl," he said neutrally.

"We're talking about two different situations!" Lisbon said quickly, feeling herself becoming agitated all over again.

"Are we?" Jane asked. Because in Teresa Lisbon's world it was perfectly acceptable for her to sacrifice herself for others on practically a weekly basis, but heaven help anyone else who tried to do the same thing.

"Of course," Lisbon confirmed with a nod. "You're so impulsive and..."

"And what about you?" Jane interrupted.

That caught his companion off-guard. "What about me?"

"What about you, Miss I'll-just-run-in-and-save-everyone-damn-the-consequences?" Jane clarified, feeling himself extremely irritated with her for her anger, given the number of times she'd risked herself with barely a moment's thought whenever someone was in danger.

Lisbon however, was still confused. "What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about?" Jane double-checked incredulously. "_Don't try and protect me Jane," _he mimicked. "_I can take care of myself. You just make things worse. I insist on taking care of everyone and everything, to hell with you trying to look out for me even a little. Don't worry about Red John coming after me and cutting me up in my bed either. I'm a cop; I chose this."_

"I am a cop!" Lisbon reminded him, though she felt a twinge of sympathy when he admitted his fears about Red John. She knew he'd worried about putting her and the team in danger, but she hadn't realized he was still bothered by it.

"And Red John was a psychotic killer intent on making my life a living hell!" Jane snapped, losing his composure a little. "I didn't want you to be another damn casualty!"

"Was! Jane, was!" Lisbon yelled back. "He's gone!"

"I know _that!_" Jane agreed. "But even when he wasn't, you strutted around larger than life, like he couldn't hurt you."

"I didn't _strut._ I went about my life normally. I knew he could hurt me! I just refused to let him control what I did! You think I wasn't afraid? You think I never thought about one day walking into my apartment and never coming out when he realized I was too big a nuisance? Or worse, walking off the elevator and finding my entire team lying cut up and bloody smiley faces painted all over the bullpen?" Lisbon asked furiously. "Go to hell, Jane!"

She'd shocked him again. Really shocked him. She'd been his rock all those years. He'd assumed she'd had her own fears, but the only ones he'd ever seen were the ones for his safety, never her own. He took another step towards her. "Teresa, I didn't..."

"No, you didn't," she hissed, turning away from him slightly and trying to get herself under control.

"You could have told me..." Jane replied, running a hand along her forearm briefly.

It took all of her effort not to jerk away from him. "And made you feel even guiltier? Given you an excuse to tell me even less than you already did? No Jane. None of it was your fault. I wasn't letting you do this alone," Lisbon insisted.

"I meant afterwards," he said gently, tilting his head towards her.

She shook her head. "You were already working out so much stuff. I didn't want to add to any of it."

Jane felt his irritation rising again. He balled his hands into fists. "That's my point!"

"What?" Lisbon asked in confusion.

"I would have wanted to be there for you!" Jane snapped. "I still want to! You're always yelling at me to tell you things, but you tell me _nothing_."

Lisbon stepped back as if she'd been slapped. "Is that what you think?" she asked, her voice low.

The expression on her face nearly undid him, but Jane was too frustrated by her apparent inability to recognize that she _might _be important to another human being to pull back now. "Why would I think otherwise?" he asked.

"No, you're right," Lisbon said sarcastically, rallying her anger around herself for protection. "I've _never_ trusted you when I maybe shouldn't have. _Never_ spend any time with you. I've _never_ believed in you, _Never_ shared anything meaningful with you. I've actually never really talked to you at all, now that I think about it."

"For once this isn't about whether or not I trust you or you trust me, Lisbon" Jane explained with a shake of his head. "This is about whether it'd even occur to you to call me if you needed something, unless you were absolutely desperate. This is about you opening yourself up enough to allow another human being to care about you in something more than a professional capacity!"

Lisbon froze. "What?" she whispered.

"How many people on this planet do you think matter to me all that much Lisbon?" Jane asked angrily. "Not that many!"

She'd always found anger the easiest of her own emotions to recognize. "So then it's fine for you to be reckless? Fewer people to care if you end up dead?" she asked sarcastically.

"Quid pro quo, my dear," Jane replied coolly.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Oh come off it."

He shook his head, "Do you want me to start a list of the times you've been reckless?"

"You won't come up with..." Lisbon started to reply.

Jane didn't even bother letting her finish her sentence. "How about the time you stayed in a room with a _bomb_ because there was a little girl in it? I was on the phone the entire time, _remember?_ I was terrified that I was going to have to hear you _blow up!_ What about the time you talked down an unstable man wielding a s_word?_ Or that time you jumped on top of a guy with a gun. Actually, that's happened_ more than once!_ Or what about the time you went into the abandoned warehouse all alone chasing a man who'd already killed three women? Or the other _thousands _of times you've put yourself between danger and other members of the public? You're just as impulsive as I am when other people are in danger, _dear_!"

Lisbon stared at him, mouth agape. He wasn't honestly implying that she wasn't good at her job? That she was reckless with the public? She was a _damn good_ CBI Agent thank you very much! "How _dare you say that_..."

"How dare _I?_" Jane repeated, eyebrows raised.

Her eyes flashed back, furious. "Protecting the public's _my job."_

"Of course it is," Jane agreed derisively. "You're _Agent_ Teresa Lisbon. _You_ don't need anybody, _ever_. For any reason. _You_ can do everything, save everybody _all by yourself_. What about people who might worry about _you?_ What about whether or not any of that that makes you reckless? Did you ever consider how what you do affects the people around you?"

"It's my job..." she hissed fiercely a second time.

"And what about my job?" Jane asked calmly, coming back around to the source of the argument in a roundabout fashion. After all, he'd only been trying to save poor Annie.

Lisbon was desperately shaking her head though. "You're not an agent! You're a consultant! You've said it more than a thousand times yourself!"

"So I should just stand aside and let innocent people get killed thanks to a convenient semantic distinction?" Jane double-checked.

"It's not just a _semantic distinction_," she snapped. "And even if it _was_, that's not my point!"

"It sure sounds like it's your point," Jane said neutrally.

Lisbon hated that tone of his voice, when it sounded like he didn't care one way or another. Like she was a damn science project or a meaningless diversion. "I'm saying you don't think. That you do these things, and sometimes I genuinely wonder if you consider consequences at all. You just, you could have _died_ today Jane! Do you get that?"

"You could die almost _every _day," he countered. "The_ extraordinary_ Agent Lisbon who thinks she's invincible."

Lisbon felt a headache brewing. "I don't think I'm invincible. I'm well aware of _that_. You think I don't know agents die out there every day? _Shut up._ I've walked into more than a few rooms and saw colleagues on the ground bleeding. I walked in and saw my ex-partner on the floor, you bastard. Hell, I've been shot myself, _remember?_"

"I do remember," Jane almost yelled. "I was, again, on the other end of the _phone!_"

"Yes, and in your overwhelming concern for my feelings you walked across the room and committed murder," Lisbon said scathingly.

Familiar guilt over that resurfaced in Jane's stomach; he didn't exactly regret the murder, but he did regret causing her pain. "It was more complicated than that and you know it!"

"I do, and I definitely don't want to have that argument again," Lisbon agreed, more than willing to steer clear of that minefield.

"Especially when we could be having this one!" Jane said dryly.

Lisbon sighed, forcing some of her anger to drain away. "This job's dangerous, you know that, Jane."

"I do; that's my point," Jane nodded. "_Our_ job is dangerous Teresa. I could walk into dangerous situations just as easily as you could. I've walked into lots of things more dangerous than today. Half the time you're beside me when I do it. You know _that_."

"I know," she admitted, staring at her carpet. "But when you're alone, I worry that you don't think."

"And I worry that you think you're invincible," he said, reaching for her wrist.

Lisbon stared at his hand gently circling her wrist, brushing lightly against her pulse. "I _don't_ think I'm invincible. Unlike some people, I take appropriate precautions."

"Ha!"

"Most of the time I _do_," she insisted, looking at him intently, trying to convince him. "I'm not sure you... I have a gun! And training! What do you have? A vest that isn't bulletproof, no self-defence training, and a tendency to piss people off! You might be able to think on your feet, but that only gets you so far when a suspect's really unstable. And if something ever happened to you... I... I don't know... I'm glad you saved that girl, Jane, but... You, you used to frighten me _before_, before we... I thought you were doing better, but then you go and..." Lisbon took a deep breath and finally tried to explain the reason she'd been upset all evening. "He pointed a gun at you, and I wasn't _there._ _I wasn't there. _Whenever I'm not there, bad things happen. I'm supposed to look after you. I'm the one with the gun and the badge. I'm supposed to be able to protect... _God..._"

"Oh Teresa..." Jane whispered. His anger suddenly gone, he tugged her into his arms shocked by the strength with which she held onto him. Even more shocked by the fact that she was shaking.

"You have to be _careful_," she ordered.

"So do you," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her more tightly. He didn't care what she thought. He wasn't letting her go.

She sighed and let her head drop onto his shoulder. "_Jane..._"

"I wasn't trying to be reckless," he told her. "It was a calculated risk. I was fairly certain I could talk the guy down, outsmart him, and I had to help that girl Lisbon, I..."

"I know you did Jane; you have a heart of gold in spite of yourself," Lisbon murmured. "I just..."

"I wasn't throwing my life away," he assured her, squeezing her lightly. "I promise you that. I do care about staying alive. I wasn't being deliberately reckless. I care about things..." he whispered huskily. The words, _I care about you_, clogged in his throat.

"Good," she exhaled in relief, pulling back slightly. "Good... I don't want to lose you."

He drew her closer again. He needed her close. "I don't want to lose you either," he whispered in her ear.

She buried her face in his shoulder in response.

"I'm still here," he reminded her.

"I worry," she admitted. "I can't help it."

"_I know_," he assured her. At his lowest points the fact that she cared had been all that kept him grounded.

"Okay."

"I'm sorry you were worried," he added, rubbing the small of her back.

"I'm not sorry I yelled at you," Lisbon replied, her voice thick with emotion.

"I didn't think you were," he said dryly.

"Okay."

"We'll have to get used to this, and to the worry, the _mutual_ worry," he stressed.

"I... I know," Lisbon agreed finally, closing her eyes and resting her head back on his shoulder, letting the embrace, letting his presence reassure her.

"Teresa, can I ask you a question?" Jane asked after a minute.

"Sure."

"What did you do that time Van Pelt got shot? Or the time Cho was knifed? Or Rigsby got hit with that pipe? Or any of the times things happened to me?" Jane asked curiously. Did she always come home and throw things around her apartment? Did she haul out the tequila in her bottom drawer? Did she bury herself in her work to forget? Or was it different every time?

"I... I..." her breathe hitched. "I don't know."

"Yes you do," Jane pushed gently.

"I hate it," she admitted. "Every time, I _hate_ it. I can't..." she choked. "It's different. It depends... When... At the hospital sometimes, well there's the chapel... or I have my cross. Or the shooting range. I... I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Okay," he said soothingly. "Okay."

She punched him in the shoulder. "I hate it when you guys get hurt and today you had to go and..."

"I know," Jane sighed. Justified action or not, he realized that he'd scared the life out of her that afternoon. She wasn't really _angry_; she'd never really been angry. She'd been terrified. And he could understand that. "And I know that I probably do need you to protect me on a daily basis. I'm sorry."

"Being all stupidly heroic..." Lisbon muttered.

"Yes, I... Wait, what?" Jane did a double-take.

"You saved Annie Perez's life." Lisbon reminded him.

"Must be all this time I spend hanging around you," he joked.

"Shut up," she said. "I wanted to kill you afterwards."

"I don't doubt that, dear," Jane admitted cheerfully. "I've wanted to shake you more than once, all those stupid things you do to protect people. Myself included."

"I'd like to see you try it," she shot back with a half a laugh, pulling back slightly to look at him.

"Why do you think I never did?" Jane asked with a grin. "I have no desire to end up flat on my back, you holding my arm in some unspeakably painful position. And of the two of us, let me remind you that you're the one who's gotten _shot _before. D_on't_ you _dare_ tell me it was okay because it's your job."

Lisbon took a breath, "I didn't know it..."

"Bothered me?" Jane asked. "Yeah, well it does."

"We should talk about that then," Lisbon said softly, running a hand down his arm in comfort.

"Okay," Jane agreed, somewhat calmed by her presence. "But can we do it some other time? I'm a little argued out right now."

"Sure," she agreed, wrapping her arms around his neck again.

"Good," he murmured into her hair, taking a second to appreciate the smell of her shampoo.

"Jane?" Lisbon asked tentatively.

"Yeah?"

"I..." she hesitated, and he felt her arms tighten. "I tell you things," she whispered.

"What?" the consultant asked completely bewildered.

"Did you really mean what you said, before?" she asked. He could hear the uncertainty in her voice and it killed him now that his anger was gone. "That I never tell you anything about myself?"

Jane paused. He had said that, hadn't he? Well, there were definitely elements of truth to the statement; he did get frustrated that he sometimes felt like he had to drag every little bit of personal information out of her. But on the other hand, he _had_ been angry. And he may have exaggerated the situation slightly (but so had _she_ in some of her arguments). He hadn't expected her to take it so seriously. "Lisbon, I..."

"I know I'm not the easiest person in the world," she stuttered. "I know what people say about me, that I'm closed off and cold and a bit of a hard-ass, career-driven bitch."

"_Who says that about you?_" Jane growled.

"_Jane..._" she warned.

"Tell me later," he ordered.

"Why? So you can slash their tires in the CBI parking lot?" she asked sarcastically.

"Lisbon, I'm offended. I'd exact far more creative punishments than _that_," he promised.

She rolled her eyes though he couldn't see it. "Anyway," she said with a half a laugh. Then she remembered what she needed to say. "I know I'm not easy."

"Neither am I," Jane admitted, trying to help her say whatever she was trying to.

"I'm not used to having someone to tell things to," she admitted.

"You've always taken care of everyone else," Jane agreed. "I know that, Teresa. I've known you a long time now."

"I just... I _do _tell you things though. I told you about my father," she said, her voice low. "And I told you about Tommy and about Bosco. And I tell you when a case really sucks. I know that's work, but I work _a lot_, Jane."

"Oh," he said, tightening his arms around her. He couldn't take her doubts and her hurt anymore. "I know that dear, but I was angry with you. Angry and frustrated."

Lisbon sighed. It did feel nice to be held after a hard day. "I was frustrated with you too."

"And I can't help wishing you'd confide in me, let me do little things for you," Jane admitted.

"You already do little things for me," Lisbon said without thinking.

"Hm?"

She rested her forehead on his shoulder. "You make me coffee," she admitted. "And you bring me food."

"In other words, your stomach's glad I'm around," Jane said dryly.

"Hush," she growled. "The rest of me likes having you around too. You make me laugh," she whispered into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Jane asked, completely shocked, but unbelievably pleased.

"Shut up," she muttered. "You heard me."

He took pity on her. "I did," he agreed. "And Teresa?"

"Hm?" she asked, her face buried in his shoulder embarrassed.

"You always make me smile when I need it too," he assured her.

"Oh," she whispered.

"I do know I have something to live for," Jane assured her again, feeling she needed to hear it. "You've made sure of that."

"Good," she said succinctly. "I only worry so much because I care."

"I know, dear. Why do you think I get so frustrated with you sometimes?" he asked.

She gasped, and Jane felt her arms tighten around him again.

"Yeah," he admitted, burying his nose in her hair.

Lisbon held on tight, her fingers clenched around his jacket. Held on in the way she'd always wanted to, but never really felt like she had the right to. She'd always wanted to keep him with her, to keep him _safe_. And now they were friends, and she could... _they_ could hold each other if they needed to.

Sometimes.

Lisbon breathed in slowly, trying to relax.

She cared about him. He cared about her.

This meant something.

And she was going to do all that she could to make sure that their relationship never degraded into Christmas cards with yearly updates, even if it meant they called each other at ridiculous times from across the country. Friendships like this didn't come along all that often, she knew that better than most.

Still, part of her couldn't help feeling like she was setting herself up for heartbreak.

"Jane?" Lisbon asked again after a moment, when she was feeling calmer.

"Yes, dear?" he wondered, hoping she wasn't going to start another emotional conversation. He loved holding her afterwards, but he wasn't sure how much more upheaval he could take.

Luckily Lisbon had other ideas. "I'm hungry. Wanna order pizza?" she asked with a grin.

"Sure," he promised with a laugh.

xxxxx


	9. Step 9: Make sure you tell her things

A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! Also, heads up to all my readers. I am taking requests over at my LJ for the month of december, in any fandom I happen to know. So if you're interested, head on over to my LJ (linked on my profile page, but I'm h_loquacious over there) and click on the request tag. Thus endeth my pimping out of my own Holiday meme... Hope everyone enjoys this chapter!

xxxxx**  
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**9. Step Nine: Make sure you tell her things too**

xxxxx

Lisbon hung up her phone with a sigh.

What a week. She genuinely couldn't wait for it to be over (and was glad that it pretty much was). Although what relief the weekend would bring she didn't know since for once work actually wasn't the cause of all of her stress. Oddly enough it was her usually non-existent personal life that was causing her problems. (And people criticized her for not having one of those! What good were they anyway? Caused nothing but trouble...)

She just wanted to curl up somewhere and not think about any of it for just one evening. Just forget about it all. Forget about her week of phone calls to Chicago in particular. They were doing nothing to improve her mood. Her day had already been long enough. At least it was Friday, which meant she didn't need to be in at the crack of dawn the next day.

Friday. _Crap._

She was supposed to be meeting Jane in a little over an hour to go to the movies. She'd been looking forward to it earlier, but she really was not in the mood anymore. Maybe she should just cancel. Hopefully Jane would understand, because Lisbon knew she wouldn't be particularly good company right now.

She picked up her cell phone and dialled a very familiar number.

"Lisbon, please tell me we don't have to drive to some godforsaken corner of California tonight," Jane said by way of greeting.

She nearly chuckled. "No such luck," she replied.

"Then what is it?" he asked, suddenly concerned. "We still on for tonight?"

Lisbon sighed, "Yeah, about that..." she trailed off.

Jane felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. Maybe she was getting sick of being his social companion and caretaker. "Better offer?" he tried to joke.

"No, nothing like that," she quickly assured him. "It's just..."

Jane exhaled slowly. This didn't sound like it was his fault. "What's wrong, Teresa?" he asked gently.

Lisbon took a breath. "Would you be horribly upset if we postponed going to the movies? It's been a long day, and I'm not really feeling up to it right now."

"No, of course that's fine. But I am again going to ask you what's wrong," Jane repeated.

"I'll be fine," she assured him quickly. "Just a long day. And I don't think I'd be very good company right now."

"Okay," he told her, wheels already turning in his head as he tried to figure out the source of her mood since it was obvious that something was genuinely upsetting her.

"I'm really sorry about this, Jane," she said, relieved that he apparently wasn't going to kick up a fuss that she was cancelling on him, or pester her until she told him what was going on. "But thanks."

"Not a problem," Jane said with a wave of his hand. He had been looking forward to going to the movies with her, but he certainly wasn't about to drag her out if she was having a bad day. "Don't even worry about it Lisbon. We'll reschedule. Maybe next week."

"Okay," she whispered.

"Just relax," he told her. "I'll talk to you later."

"Night, Jane," she said, hanging up the phone.

"Night, Teresa," he murmured, the start of an idea already forming in his brain.

Lisbon turned off her phone in relief. She should have known Jane would understand. He'd probably be a little disappointed, but it wasn't like it had been a huge thing. And really, the way her day was going, there'd probably have been a power outage at the theatre or something if she had tried to see a movie. She'd go out with Jane another day.

Jane.

She sighed.

There was another complication in her already complicated life.

Jane, her slightly-less-unstable-than-he-used-to-be consultant. Her Jane. Probably the dominant personality in her life. They'd been spending so much time together lately. Mostly she enjoyed it, but it was also disconcerting...

It raised the stakes.

He was becoming too important.

Only two days ago, they'd faced off against each other in her apartment over his reckless behaviour, and in Jane's opinion, her own.

Emotions had been heightened. She'd been upset. She'd said things. Then he'd been upset.

And _he'd_ said things.

Lisbon knew Jane had claimed not to mean all of them, but if that was the case then why had he said them?

He'd said that she was reckless with her own life. That she didn't let anyone get close. That she didn't tell anyone anything.

Lisbon dropped onto her couch, her head in her hands.

It was ironic really. Because _he _was too close. _He _was the one she wanted to tell things to. Wanted to, but didn't always. Hadn't she just cancelled on him because she was tired? But that wasn't quite the same thing, was it? She talked to Jane. She'd talked to him the last time a case had been bad. She'd talked to him about Bosco for crying out loud!

It had been such a damn relief too.

She was depending on him too much.

And it was all very well and good for _Jane_ to tell her she needed to open up to people. Nice thing for him to say when he could disappear at any moment!

Damn Patrick Jane.

She really was setting herself up for heartbreak where he was concerned. After all, did he even _have_ a permanent address? He lived in a motel for crying out loud! That didn't exactly scream stability, even if it was one meant for extended stays. Lisbon had heard him asking Cho if he knew a good real estate agent, but really with Jane that could mean _anything_. It could very easily have nothing to do with his own living arrangements. He certainly hadn't said anything to her about moving, and whenever they did anything, they always met at her apartment for convenience's sake. So until she heard otherwise Lisbon was going to assume that Jane was still living in a motel, ready to pick up and leave at any moment. Probably as soon as the reality of his situation hit him.

And it would be hitting him soon, Lisbon was sure of it. How else was she supposed to take the uncharacteristic outburst of emotion from _Jane_ earlier in the week? Even when he was annoyed, he rarely ever lost control unless it was related to Red John. Well, Red John was gone now. And it looked like Jane was getting in touch with the parts of his personality he'd been suppressing for years. Any day now he'd realize it, realize he was already moving on.

What else could have possibly prompted this suddenly emotionally honest and personally invested Jane? The one who both yelled at her and told her how important she was to him.

Lisbon had known him nearly a decade, and she'd never fought with him like she had a few days ago.

When he'd accused her of being too detached. Too detached, too private.

She didn't even know anymore.

She was tired and confused.

She was in too deep.

And she didn't want him to go.

But he would, eventually.

Maybe he would stay if she asked him to?

But she couldn't do that. Jane deserved to be happy. Even if she would miss him.

Lisbon ran a hand over her face.

Enough. She'd had an emotionally exhausting week. Time to find a distraction.

That distraction came, but not in the form she'd been expecting.

Lisbon heard a knock on her door.

Standing slowly, Lisbon walked across the room. She knew who it was. There was really only one person it could be. Lisbon smiled wryly to herself, ignoring her sudden nerves. She should really have seen this coming.

She took a deep breath and opened the door. "What are you doing here?" she asked curiously.

"I brought snacks, chips, ice cream, movies. You ready for a night of film fun?" Jane asked with a beaming smile.

Lisbon stared at him and the overloaded bags in his hands. "I don't understand."

"You said you were too tired to go out, so I decided to bring the movies to you," Jane explained, sweeping past her into her apartment.

Lisbon shut the door behind him then turned to stare at him for a minute. "Of course you did," she whispered, before walking over and sitting on her couch.

Jane frowned, dropped his bags, and sat down beside her. "You said you were tired so I thought..."

"Yeah," Lisbon said looking around. "I can't believe you did this." It was sweet of him. She figured he'd come over to pester her about what was bothering her (as he was wont to do, since she apparently never told him anything), not bring her movies and food so they could have their evening in the comfort of her apartment.

"Well, I can be pretty unbelievable, I guess," Jane said with a shrug.

"That's for sure," Lisbon said dryly.

Jane frowned again. She didn't look particularly excited to see him. Maybe this surprise visit hadn't been such a good idea. "Lisbon?"

"Hmm?" she asked absently.

"When you said you were too tired to go out, did you really mean that you were too tired to spend time with me?" Jane wondered.

That got her attention. "What?"

Jane hastened to explain himself, "Because if you wanted to be alone..."

"It's not that," Lisbon assured her consultant. "I really did just not feel like going out. All I want to do right now is curl up on my couch and watch TV."

Jane angled himself slightly closer to her. "Do you want me to go so you can do that?"

"No," Lisbon said with a shake of her head. Damn it. She really didn't want him to go.

"I'd leave you the movies," Jane clarified.

The offer made her smile. "No."

"Are you sure?" he asked, not wanting to push her.

"Yes." She was sure. She knew it now.

"Lisbon... I..." Jane started to say, trying to make sure he wasn't overstaying his welcome.

"Please stay." She really wanted him to stay. Really, very much wanted him to stay. With her.

Jane caught her eyes. What he saw there (and he wasn't quite sure what it was) reassured him that she wasn't lying to him to be polite. "Okay."

"It's just been a long week," Lisbon said softly, leaning back on her couch.

"I know," Jane agreed. She'd been looking tired the past few days. He'd known something was up, but he hadn't realized whatever it was had been bothering her this much.

"Did you bring popcorn?" Lisbon asked suddenly, changing the subject.

Jane grinned. "Yes ma'am."

Lisbon summoned up a smile from somewhere, "Okay, why don't I go make it then?"

"Sounds good," Jane agreed easily.

A few minutes later she came back with the bowl of popcorn.

"Okay," Jane said. "What are you in the mood for? Romantic comedy, action, horror, kids movie, independent film?"

"How many did you bring?" Lisbon asked with a chuckle.

Jane shrugged, "About a dozen."

"Right," she said with a shake of her head.

"I didn't know what you were in the mood for," Jane defended.

"Still," Lisbon replied. "You were very thorough."

Jane decided a change in the subject was in order. "So, any thoughts?"

"Oh, I don't know," Lisbon said feeling tired again. "You pick."

"Lisbon?" Jane asked, threading his hand around her elbow in concern.

"Yeah?"

"You sure you're okay?" he double-checked.

"I'm fine," she said quickly.

Jane sighed, "You sure you don't want me to go?"

Lisbon shook herself. She needed to get herself together. "Yeah, I'm sure. Sorry."

"It's fine," he assured her. He didn't want her to apologize, but he also didn't want to make things worse for her.

"Let me see the options," Lisbon said in an attempt to be cheerful.

Jane obligingly spread his movies out on the coffee table in front of them.

"My brother's birthday is next week," Lisbon blurted out suddenly, staring very determinedly at the movies in front of her.

Jane looked over in surprise. He hadn't expected this. "Is it?"

She nodded.

"Which brother?" Jane asked, since it was obvious she wanted him to ask her about it.

"Tommy."

Tommy. Right. Of course. Jane angled himself towards her, careful not to invade her personal space too much, though he wanted to (he always wanted to now). "You going back east to see him?"

Lisbon shook her head quickly, fingering a DVD case.

Jane frowned. She obviously felt guilty about it; who knows why, since she didn't make a habit of trips back east for birthdays. "Why not?"

"He doesn't want me to," Lisbon whispered.

Jane winced internally. "Ah."

"I mean, I don't go very much, especially for birthdays," Lisbon hastened to explain. "And Tommy didn't go right out and say it like that. He just kind of jokingly said that it might not be the best time for a visit because he's planning on spending the day with a bunch of his friends who are slightly, well..."

"Less discerning?" Jane suggested tactfully. From what he'd heard about Tommy Lisbon, Jane could imagine what the party would be like. And little brother knew big sister might not exactly approve.

"They're not criminals or anything. Some of them are actually pretty nice, but they're also a little rough around the edges," Lisbon explained. "I hadn't really planned on visiting anyway. I hope he has a good time. I sent him a gift, and I'll call, obviously."

Jane shook his head. So she was feeling guilty about not being able to visit very often, and as a result what Jane was fairly sure was nothing more than a brother's attempt to lessen that guilt had in fact made things worse. Only Lisbon. "But he's your little brother and you wish you could do more," Jane surmised.

"It's silly," Lisbon said.

"It's not," Jane assured her, reaching over and pushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. It wasn't silly at all, especially if it was bothering her so much.

"I really wasn't even sure I was going back anyway. I just wish I could see him more often sometimes. You should have family around, times like that," she muttered.

"You're a good big sister Lisbon, even if you do live far away," Jane reminded her.

"How do you know?" she demanded stubbornly.

Jane smiled. That was an easy question, "Because this bothers you."

Lisbon sighed, "Jane..."

"Teresa..." he parried.

She changed the subject slightly, "Steve and Danny are close enough that they could go see him, but of course they _won't_."

"The Lisbon boys still not speaking?" Jane asked. Lisbon didn't talk about it much, but he knew it bothered her. He'd pried the whole story out of her one night a couple of years ago.

Lisbon shook her head. "Nope. They never could accept Tom's addiction, given... well... Even though he's doing better now, things were said. Nothing's changed."

Jane snuck his arm around her shoulder and pulled her towards him. "And I assume all Lisbons are stubborn as mules."

"Hey!"

He smiled. "Not necessarily a bad thing. Even if it does make reconciliation difficult in situations like this. You can't fix everything, Saint Teresa."

"I've always hated that nickname," she grumbled.

Jane started toying with the ends of her hair again. "I know, but it really is oddly appropriate."

Lisbon leaned her head against his shoulder. "I was glad to get away," she admitted. "When I first moved to California, I mean. They were fighting all the time, all three of them. Tommy was drinking. I didn't know what to do. I needed a break. I couldn't... I couldn't..." She swallowed. She'd known it was the best thing for her at the time, didn't make it feel any less like she was running away and abandoning her family.

"It's okay," Jane soothed, his arm tightening around her. "You didn't do anything wrong, Teresa."

"I could have stayed..." she said half-heartedly.

"And lost what little was left of your sanity feeling ineffective?" Jane asked a little harshly. He was glad to comfort her, but he wouldn't sit and let her blame herself for not killing herself for her family. "Your brothers are all fine. Everything's okay. It isn't perfect, but it's okay. Your brothers are all reasonably happy, even if they are living somewhat separate lives. And rumour has it, that a certain CBI Agent is being considered for a promotion this fall."

"And it's really just rumours..." she grumbled. "It's almost certainly not going to be me this time around."

Jane shrugged. He knew it wasn't. Was selfishly almost glad of it actually. It'd give him a year or so to get used to the idea. Because she would be promoted eventually. She was too good not to be. "Still. You know one of these days it'll happen. Especially given that technically you caught Red John. Even if you did chase him into a telephone pole."

"_We_ caught Red John," she corrected.

"And my contribution is completely irrelevant from a bureaucratic standpoint," Jane reminded her with a smile. "I'm certainly never going to be up for a promotion."

"God no," Lisbon agreed. "You'd have the place burned down in a week if we gave you more responsibility."

"Thanks ever so much," Jane said dryly.

"I just wish there was more I could do sometimes," she said with a sigh.

"Well, based on my own personal experience, I can say with absolute confidence that you did the absolute most that you possibly could have for your brothers," Jane reassured her cheerfully.

"Still, they're my brothers," Lisbon muttered. Jane was ruining her attempts to feel guilty. It was both irritating and reassuring. He was really lovely to have around at times like this. She'd known there was a reason she'd let him through her door. She'd wanted someone to talk to. She'd wanted someone to talk to, and he thought she never confided in him. She sighed.

"And they love you. At least if all that pestering for you to visit them on holidays – this particular birthday notwithstanding – is anything to go by," Jane pointed out, unaware of the turn of her thoughts.

"I guess," Lisbon said snuggling slightly closer against his shoulder, deciding to ignore the part of her brain telling her not to. This week had been particularly stupid. If Jane wanted to be sweet, she was going to take advantage of it. Who knew how much longer she'd be able to do it.

Jane looked down and grinned at her. "You can fuss over me for a little while if you like," he offered.

"Hmm," she hummed.

"After all, it'd give Rigsby a bit of a break," he added cheerfully. "Not that he isn't pleased that you've restocked the fridge with a variety of snacks and complimented him on his work last case. But now I think he's beginning to suspect that you're being extra nice because you're preparing him for some bad news."

Lisbon lifted her head in alarm, "Oh god, he does not think that! Does he?"

"Just a little bit. Don't worry about it," Jane said with a laugh. The fact that Lisbon saw Rigsby as a surrogate little brother was one of the worst kept secrets within the team, even if they never talked about it.

She let her head fall back on his shoulder and shut her eyes, "I didn't even realize I was..."

"I know. Just ignore it for a day or two, it'll all blow over," Jane advised. "If it makes you feel better, Van Pelt told him he was being an idiot and you were always like this from time to time. She likes the added attention by the way. So does Rigsby, when he's not being an idiot."

Lisbon sighed. "I don't suppose Cho has an opinion, does he?" she asked sarcastically.

"I'd imagine he's guessed something near_ish_ to the truth," Jane admitted.

"Hm," Lisbon hummed again, settling back against his arm.

"When did you last speak to Tommy?" Jane wondered. Maybe calling her brother would make her feel better.

"I talked to him a couple of times earlier this week, and then he called again tonight," Lisbon admitted.

And then she hadn't felt like going out afterwards, Jane thought, putting it all together. "And you've been upset all evening."

She shook her head slightly. "Not upset exactly, no... Okay, yes. I was upset."

"Do you feel better now?" he asked.

"Hmm," she sighed. "It is nice to have someone to talk to," she admitted, before suddenly going stiff as a board.

Jane froze too. After a second, he deliberately continued stroking her hair as if he'd never stopped. Damn it all to hell. Was that what this was about? Her blurting out information like a confession all of a sudden? And then being self-conscious about it? Because of what he'd said a few days ago? Was she really afraid that he thought she was cold and aloof?

Damn it again.

He'd hurt her. He'd really hurt her when he'd told her she never talked to him. And now Lisbon had deliberately... Oh no, no, no, no. Jane tightened his grip around her shoulders. He had no doubt this was something that was bothering her anyway. But she'd deliberately told him something, because he'd implied that she never did. He'd hurt her when, from the sounds of it, she'd already been pretty stressed. Jane resisted the urge to gather her up into his arms.

His wonderful, wonderful Lisbon.

Who was in her way trying to reach out to him, because he obviously meant something to her.

And he'd made her feel like he thought otherwise.

That was when Jane realized something: this wasn't a game. He'd never really thought it _was_, but he'd also decided to have a little fun, come up with his ridiculous plan, because that was how he tended to operate. But he was getting sick of it. He wanted her to _know_ that she was important. He wanted to be able to hold her, and kiss her and claim her.

This wasn't just attraction or desire or even strong affection, although there were elements of all of those.

He was in love with her.

He was head over heels in love with her, probably had been for a while, and she had no idea.

She thought he thought she held him at arm's length, or something equally stupid.

She thought she was just a friend doing him a favour.

Jane decided that he needed to change the game. Because he wanted to tell her. Not right now. It wasn't the time. Lisbon was already emotional and upset and all he wanted now was to make her feel better, not overload her even more.

But there was one thing he could give her.

"You know, I never had any siblings," Jane told her.

"I know," Lisbon said. "Unless you've been keeping a pretty big secret all this time."

He chuckled. "Nope, sorry," he told her.

"S'okay."

"Although, I suppose it's possible that I have a half-sibling I don't know about, given my father's lifestyle," Jane mused. "But I could hardly tell you about someone I'm unaware of myself."

"No, I guess not," Lisbon agreed.

"I always wanted a brother when I was little," Jane confided. "Especially with all the travelling we did. He would have been someone to play with, like all the other little kids had."

Lisbon slid a hand across his torso and up his arm. Poor Jane. He'd lived such a lonely life. No wonder his family being taken away from him had been such a blow. "And you never got one," she murmured.

"Nope," Jane confirmed. "Of course, by the time I was older I was glad of it. It was probably a good thing that my father only had one kid to nearly screw up."

"Jane, you're not screwed up."

"Oh come on, Lisbon," he scoffed.

"You're not," she insisted. "Don't say that. I just listened to Tommy joke about being a disappointment to his big sister. I can't deal with you too. Besides, think about what you've done since then. You got out of that life."

_And got right into something almost as bad_, Jane thought remembering his days as a psychic, but he didn't say it. He'd give her that one. For now. "Okay," he agreed. "I guess I'm not so bad."

Lisbon smirked. "There, you see?"

"At least anymore," Jane qualified.

"Hey..."

"It's okay, Lisbon," he assured her. "Anyway, I was glad to be all alone when I was a teenager. It made me feel independent and important. I was cocky as hell."

"Shocking," she said dryly.

"I thought that might surprise you," Jane agreed.

"I'll try to contain my disbelief," Lisbon assured him.

"Thanks," Jane said with a grin. "Anyway, I started to feel like I could get away with anything, started taking bigger risks. And of course I started getting in some real trouble. Had a few near misses over the years."

"I'll bet," Lisbon muttered.

"That's when I started wishing for a sibling again," Jane told her cheerfully.

"Someone to put the blame one?" Lisbon guessed.

"Someone to help bail me out of trouble," he clarified. "I'd met Danny Ruskin by that point, you see. I saw the way Angela always managed to come to his rescue, stuck by him no matter what. I envied him his big sister."

"So you married her?" Lisbon asked with a grin of her own, inordinately charmed by the image, a young Jane marrying a woman he'd fallen in love with because she kept him sane. She imagined that Mrs. Jane knew well what she was getting into, not that she'd have wanted to change him.

Lisbon was glad he could talk about Angela a little without too much pain. She figured it was a good sign. Maybe he really was ready to heal a little.

"That's one of the reasons," Jane admitted with a soft smile. "There were a few. Angela was... well, she was something else. "Then Jane remembered what he was trying to say. "My point is Lisbon, never underestimate the effect of a loyal big sister. Even at a distance. I bet you do more than you think."

He heard her take a deep breath. "You think?"

"Of course. Look at all you've done for me over the years, or even the rest of your team. I can only imagine what you were like with three younger brothers."

"Thanks Jane," she whispered.

He pressed a brief kiss into her hair. "And Lisbon?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you decided to move to California," he told her.

She sighed, "Oh."

"Oh," he repeated.

Suddenly Lisbon tipped her head towards him with a grin. "You're very sweet sometimes, you know that?"

Jane shrugged and sent her half a smile of his own. "I prefer it when you're not sad."

She smiled against his shirt. "Wanna watch a movie now?"

"Sure."

"Okay."

Jane watched her as she finally chose a movie and set it up. Yeah, he really needed to act. Because he was determined to win her. And if he didn't speak up soon, someone else might, and he couldn't be having that.

Jane smiled at her when she settled back on the couch again, completely oblivious to his plans. Her oblivion was becoming problematic. She thought it was all about friendship. He needed something to show her it was more. He needed something that would make her get the hint.

Maybe he needed to take her somewhere more formal...

xxxxx


	10. Step 10: Try formal wear

A/N: Here we go, entering the home stretch (at least in my opinion). Glad everyone thought the last chapter was sweet (that seems to be the consensus at least). Hope everyone likes this one as well.

xxxxx**  
><strong>

**10. Step Ten: When all else fails, try formal wear**

xxxxxx

Jane hung up his phone, considering.

He'd just been speaking to Carson Morrison, a local entrepreneur of sorts. Jane (and by extension the CBI) had done the businessman a little bit of a favour about a year ago on one of their cases (a body had been found in his head office, Jane had... expedited the process so as not to interfere with an important business deal. It was complicated).

Carson was as egotistical as all successful businessmen, but Jane liked him. Maybe that was _why _he liked him. Hard to say. Carson had a healthy ego and could be a bit cold-blooded, but he wasn't cruel. The two men had kept in touch sporadically, mainly because Carson (to Jane's annoyance) insisted that he owed Jane a favour of some kind, and wouldn't rest until he'd repaid his debt. Also, the two men had recognized something in each other, some similarity. In another life, they might have even been friends.

Very little of that mattered though. What mattered was that Carson Morrison was throwing a party, a benefit concert, dinner included. And he was insisting that Jane come. It was a way of marking the one-year anniversary of Carson's late business partner (aka the corpse in the head office from the case). Carson thought having one of the investigators (okay, _consultants_) in the building would be a particularly nice touch.

He wouldn't let Jane say no.

And Carson, like many successful businessmen, could be very persuasive.

So Jane had found himself agreeing to attend the formal event, provided a case didn't come up in the meantime.

Dinner, dancing, and apparently a date.

Which was the real reason Jane had agreed to attend the function.

It was perfect. Just the opportunity he'd been waiting for.

Jane grinned to himself. If Carson thought having one investigator there would be good PR, then clearly two would be twice as good.

xx

He found Lisbon, unsurprisingly, in her office.

"Hey," she said absently without looking up from her file.

"You doing anything next Saturday?" Jane asked her.

Lisbon looked up then. "Next Saturday, as in nine days from now?" she checked.

"Yes Lisbon," Jane agreed. "That is the generally accepted meaning of _next Saturday_."

She rolled her eyes. "No Jane," she told him. "I'm not doing anything nine days from now."

"Excellent!" Jane said happily. "Wanna go to a benefit dinner for the memory of Florence Torino with me?"

"Florence Torino..." Lisbon said slowly. "Isn't that?"

"The woman we found stabbed to death in Carson Morrison's boardroom?" Jane asked. "Yup. That's the one. Carson himself called to invite me today."

"And you said _yes?_" Lisbon asked in surprise. Jane was notorious for not wanting any contact with family and friends of the victims. Although, she supposed that Carson Morrison wasn't exactly _typical_.

"He was very persistent," Jane said with a shrug. "Besides, it could be fun."

"Jane..."

"Come on Lisbon," he wheedled. "Don't make me go alone. Carson told me I could bring someone. I'm not going to know anyone there..."

"And you're such a wallflower, I'm sure that'll be a really big problem for you," Lisbon interjected dryly.

Jane smirked, acknowledging the point. "Okay, fine," he agreed. "But I'd really like to go with you. The concert looks like it'll be pretty good, full orchestra and everything. You'll like it. And if I'm going to spend an evening listening to speeches and platitudes, I'd rather do it with someone whose company I know I enjoy. Come on Teresa, the tickets are free, for us at least. You can get all dressed up, which we both know you like to do from time to time, though you always try and claim otherwise. I even promise to be particularly charming."

"Do you now?" Lisbon asked, amused. Jane was really pushing this. He genuinely did want her to go. She wasn't quite sure what his game was, and wouldn't put it past him to have some ulterior motive, but what the hell? It could be fun. "Okay," she said eventually. "I'll go."

"Great!" Jane said exuberantly.

"But," Lisbon qualified. "If we get a case in the meantime then all bets are off."

"Already told Carson that," Jane replied with a wave of his hand. "I'll pick you up at eight then."

"Alright," Lisbon agreed. "And I fully expect you to be charming, as promised."

"It's a date," Jane said, as he ducked out of her office.

Lisbon shook her head indulgently as he left.

Jaen walked purposefully back to his couch. Excellent. That had gone well. And Lisbon had nothing to fear. He'd be charming. Oh, he'd be charming all right. He'd be as charming as he knew how. This was it, the next step of the plan.

He just needed to figure out how to make it perfect.

xx

Patrick Jane showed up outside her door, flowers in hand.

He'd brought flowers this time.

Deliberately.

Because this time was different.

Hopefully Lisbon would recognize that, or at least get some kind of inkling in that direction.

Jane found he was actually nervous, it was an interesting feeling. He wondered if Lisbon was nervous.

At least he didn't have to worry that she'd cancel on him. He knew she wouldn't do that. Even if she was taking her sweet time answering her door.

On cue the door swung open. "Sorry, I couldn't find my shoes," he heard Lisbon say from the other side, as she rummaged through her purse for something.

"That's fine," Jane assured her. He was planning on saying something else, but he got a bit distracted.

He'd known she'd be wearing formal wear of some kind. He had told her the dress code himself after all, but he hadn't been quite expecting this. Usually when Lisbon had to get formal, she wore long dresses, dresses that fell to her ankles. This one was different. This one was cocktail-length. And forest green. And fairly low-cut. And again, it fell above her knees. He could see her legs again. Jane admitted that he was slowly developing a bit of a thing for her legs. Her last court date had been... interesting.

Jane cleared his throat as his eyes continued to drift downwards. Then he grinned, "You haven't put the shoes on yet, I see," he observed.

Lisbon laughed self-deprecatingly. "I'm running a couple minutes behind, sue me," she told him.

"No, I'll be perfectly content to just wait for you to put on your shoes," Jane assured her.

"Thanks," she said dryly. Then she glanced at him in his suit. A normal one, not the usual three-piece things he wore to work. And it was darker than usual, which contrasted nicely with his hair. Still no tie though. The whole look was, different. She found she liked it. "You look nice by the way."

"Thanks," Jane said, preening a little for her in his suit.

Lisbon shook her head slightly, "You wanna come in for a minute while I make sure I have everything?"

"Sure," Jane agreed, pulling his flowers from behind the wall and into her line of sight. "These are for you," he told her, somewhat unnecessarily.

Lisbon's eyes widened in surprise, and Jane watched as her mouth turned up into a smile that was completely out of her control. "Jane..." she breathed.

"A gentleman should always bring a lady flowers," Jane told her, in attempt to head off any claims that he needn't have brought her anything.

She looked up at him affectionately, biting her lip. "You didn't need to, but they're beautiful," she told him, taking the lilies from him. "I'll just go put them in a vase."

"Take your time," Jane told her. "We're in no rush."

"Okay," Lisbon said softly

Jane watched her as she padded into her kitchen to get a vase and was mildly amused by the fact that it took her a few seconds to even find one.

"Use that all the time, do you?" he teased.

"Shut up, Jane," Lisbon replied quickly. "I use it plenty."

Jane smirked, foolishly pleased by the obvious lie. He rather liked not having any competition trying to give her flowers. Then he decided he'd have to change things. Make sure she had an excuse to use the vase again before next Christmas. He leaned against the back of her couch and let her play with her flowers for a minute.

"There," Lisbon said after a moment, as she sat down next to her shoes. "Now, I just need to grab my shoes and I'll be all set."

"Okay," Jane agreed pleasantly, waiting as she slid into her heels before offering her a hand to help her out of her chair.

"So that's everything then," Lisbon murmured, looking around her apartment.

"Guess so," Jane agreed.

"Then let's go," Lisbon replied. "Who knows what we're in for tonight with Carson involved."

"Hey," Jane objected. "It could be fun."

"We'll see," Lisbon replied, walking towards the door.

"And Teresa?" Jane added.

"Hmm?" she asked, fishing for her keys.

"You look beautiful," he assured her, placing a hand on the small of her back.

Lisbon looked up at him in surprise. "Thanks," she said quickly.

Jane grinned, catching the slight flush on her cheeks. "Shall we?" he asked, offering her his arm.

Lisbon took it. Why not? She had agreed to be his date after all. She smiled at him, and allowed herself a small thrill of anticipation at the prospect of a great evening.

xxxxx

Lisbon had to admit that mostly the dinner had been fun. There weren't too many speeches, nothing too crazy had happened, Jane was, as usual, a very entertaining companion and Carson had been in fine form as host.

Plus, a handsome man seemed determined to wait on her hand and foot, Lisbon thought with a grin, as she scanned the room for Jane.

She found him, talking to another guest. Blonde, beautiful, tall. Apparently Jane's type. Lisbon felt a mild flash of irritation. After all, the woman, Crystal, Lisbon thought her name was, knew Jane had come with someone. But maybe the blonde didn't care.

Jane wasn't exactly giving the woman any encouragement, Lisbon couldn't help noticing. Well, he was a grown man, and if he didn't want to flirt with young, gorgeous, blondes intent on throwing themselves at him, that wasn't any of her business. She'd already suggested once before that his manner wasn't exactly encouraging to other women. If he wasn't interested in changing it, then so be it. She wasn't going to poke her nose in any more. She scowled.

A few minutes later, Jane rejoined her.

"Having fun?" he asked.

Lisbon forced herself to relax. "Yeah," she agreed.

"I think they're getting ready to start the music," Jane told her.

"Good," Lisbon said. "That'll be good."

"Hm."

"So, how did you finally get rid of your admirer?" Lisbon asked, gesturing towards Crystal, who appeared to be glaring at her.

"Ah..." Jane said slowly.

Lisbon knew _that_ tone. "_Jane..."_

"It's nothing, Lisbon," he assured her.

"The last time you said that Rigsby ended up with a sprained wrist and Cho was in a chokehold," Lisbon reminded him.

"And then you and Van Pelt arrived just in time to diffuse the situation," Jane reminded her. "Excellent job you did of it too."

"Thanks," Lisbon replied dryly. "What did you do tonight?"

"I may have told Crystal that my girlfriend got jealous if I was away from her for too long," Jane admitted.

"Jane..."

"I may have also implied that you weren't opposed to, erm, going after what you want with force, if need be," Jane added, enjoying the shade her face was turning.

"_Jane!"_ Lisbon barked.

"Oh relax, Lisbon," Jane laughed. "I'm joking."

"_What?" _she hissed.

"I'm not stupid," he reminded her, holding his hands up defensively. "And I have no desire to experience you kicking the living daylights out of me instead of Crystal. I started telling her all about the ins and outs of CBI regulations. After I bored her into a coma, she was more than happy to get rid of me."

Lisbon looked amused. "You don't _know_ the ins and outs of CBI regulations," she reminded him.

"Nope," Jane agreed cheerfully. "But I made up some that were especially dull. Lots of subsections and addenda. It was fun."

Lisbon shook her head.

"What about you?" Jane asked curiously. "I noticed you were quite popular with some of Carson's business associates." He'd been watching rather closely, intent on discovering if he had any serious competition. Her expression had been enough to convince him that an intervention was far from necessary.

Lisbon smirked. "I was," she agreed. "They started telling me all about how they made all their money."

"_And?_" Jane prompted, sensing there was more to the story.

"Well," Lisbon said modestly. "They were midway into a story about how to best, how shall I put it, keep track of one's finances while paying as little as possible to the government when tax time came around."

"Perhaps less than was required, legally?" Jane guessed.

Lisbon shrugged. "Well, they seemed to be having some sort of competition about who had hidden money in the cleverest way. At least until I casually dropped into the conversation that I was a CBI Agent. Then they all suddenly had to do something across the room."

Jane smirked, "Oh, now Teresa, do I have to teach you how to play nicely with others?"

She smiled back. "You have your ways of getting out of boring conversations, I have mine."

"Why does it not surprise me that yours involves your badge?" Jane asked. "I'm surprised you didn't haul out your gun, though given your outfit I'm guessing you're not carrying one."

Lisbon raised her eyebrows.

Jane looked shocked. "What? Lisbon! Where?"

She laughed, "I never said I was carrying."

"You never said you weren't," Jane pointed out.

Lisbon pretended to consider that for a moment. "No," she said eventually. "You're right, I didn't."

Jane's grin warmed. "Tease."

"Just trying to have a good evening," she countered with a smile. Even if the small talk with California's business leaders had gotten occasionally a little tiring, Lisbon was glad she'd agreed to go. Jane had, for his part, certainly lived up to his promise to be charming.

Her consultant shook his head at her. "You know I'll find that gun if you have one," he told her.

"So you say," Lisbon shot back.

Jane grinned. He was fairly certain she _wasn't_ carrying a gun, but it was hard to know. Besides, he'd let her have her fun. "We should sit back down," he told her.

"Right," Lisbon agreed. "You said the music was going to start."

"Mmhm," Jane confirmed, leading her to the table. Then something occurred to him. "You sure you're having a good time," he double-checked. "I certainly didn't mean to drag you hear if..."

Lisbon cut him off. "I'm having a good time, Jane," she assured him. "Just sit down, relax, and enjoy the music."

He chuckled, pulling out her chair for her. "Okay, but can I just point out that _you_ telling _me_ to relax is just..."

"You're the one who's got a bee in his bonnet over something," Lisbon countered, before he could finish that sentence.

Jane stared at her for a moment, "I do _not_ have..."

"You do," Lisbon told him. "You're acting like a nervous Nellie."

Jane nearly laughed. "A nervous Nellie?"

"Yup," Lisbon confirmed with a sip of her drink.

"Me?" the consultant double-checked.

Lisbon nodded. "Yup."

Jane considered that for a moment, before realizing there was a small chance she was right. "Oh hush, Lisbon."

She just smirked.

xxxxx

While he listened to the music, Jane watched his companion surreptitiously across the table as she played with her glass. They'd lapsed into a companionable sort of silence about fifteen minutes ago and Jane had basically decided it was an excellent opportunity to stare at her in her pretty dress.

Especially since Lisbon didn't know that he was staring.

She was too busy gazing off in the distance, lost in her own thoughts.

They seemed to be pleasant ones though, if the soft smile she was wearing was anything to go by.

Teresa Lisbon needed to smile more. That was all there was to it, Jane decided immediately.

Oh, except that she was gorgeous when she was angry too.

Still, he might prefer her eyes soft and unguarded (okay, _less_ guarded) to flashing in frustration and anger.

Especially with her hair up off her face like that. And the dress. He was really quite fond of the dress, not that he could see more than the top half or so at the moment.

After another pass from neck to collar bone, Jane's eyes flicked from Lisbon's face to the direction she was looking in.

Of course.

The dance floor. He was a fool, a complete and utter fool.

She'd been watching the dance floor almost wistfully while he'd been distracted watching her. Teresa Lisbon wanted to dance. Oh, she'd deny it if he ever asked, but she did. And he'd been too busy staring at her to recognize the perfect opportunity to _touch_ her.

Touching her sounded like a _really_ good idea all of a sudden. Especially since while he touched, he could also look. It was win-win.

He'd get to hold her, and not just because she was upset and needed a hug.

Jane wanted every man in the room to stare resentfully at him while he spun her around in her pretty dress.

And although the formal wear outing didn't seem to be having the desired effect of making Lisbon realize he would be fabulous as some sort of romantic partner, or that he had actual intentions where she was concerned, or even just jumping him because he looked good in his suit (and really, Jane would have settled for _any_ of the above), it was totally worth it because he got to stare at her in the dress.

But as previously decided, more than staring would be even better. Her acknowledgement that something was going on would be best of all.

Maybe the flaw was in the plan itself. Jane had wanted Lisbon to take charge of the change in their relationship because he knew she'd be more comfortable with it that way. But since she was still oblivious to his goal, the plan wasn't exactly brilliant. Maybe it was time to step up.

So how to get her on the dance floor with a minimum of fuss? Politely asking might result in an equally polite refusal. Jane really didn't want her to refuse.

Well, there was a lot to be said for the tried and trusted method of getting her to dance (and for once he wasn't talking about pestering her until she caved).

The consultant sighed exaggeratedly.

Lisbon glanced in his direction, eyebrows raised.

He quirked his head towards the dance floor.

She frowned slightly in confusion.

Jane stood and offered her a hand, smiling affectionately. "Obviously you want to dance," he said softly, remembering conversations past.

Lisbon hesitated. "Oh," she said. "I hadn't really..."

"Come now, Teresa," Jane interrupted. "Must we go through this every time?"

"All four of them?" she interjected, unwitting let him know that she'd been keeping count of their dances over the years.

Jane smirked. "I know you want to dance. Come on. It would be a shame to waste that dress. I promise not to step on your toes."

The final promise was unnecessary as Lisbon was already standing before he'd finished speaking. "I didn't think you would," she murmured as she took his hand. Jane was a good dance partner. He was no Fred Astaire, but then, she was no Ginger Rogers. And Jane was better than most. At least he could lead competently.

Jane smiled triumphantly and led her to the dance floor.

He couldn't help noticing that Lisbon was biting her lip in obvious pleasure. He didn't even know why she even bothered pretending that she didn't want to dance with him. He was hardly giving her the impression that he didn't want to dance with her. Especially since he tended to ask her, in a roundabout fashion. He definitely didn't know why she always seemed so initially against the idea.

Jane tugged on her hand when they reached the dance floor and she slid into his arms as easily as she always had. (How had he never noticed that before? That she just felt comfortable in his arms?) He heard her sigh softly against his neck before she rested her head on his shoulder. He slid his hand slightly farther around her back.

This was nice. He could smell her perfume, something subtle, spicy. Bewitching.

He wanted more of this.

They'd always danced well together. Even if they always had some excuse. He hoped that this time she wasn't pretending or wishing that she was dancing with someone else.

Jane frowned softly.

Excuse.

Even now there was a sort of excuse. He'd asked her to dance to be sure, but he'd also put on a bit of a show about it being only because she so obviously wanted to. She knew that was all an act right? She was so good at seeing through him, he'd assumed she'd known that too.

But then Lisbon hadn't already seen through his other cunning plan. She had no idea how he felt about her (and he still hadn't worked up the courage to just _tell her_, hoping against hope that she'd pick up on his hints).

What if she thought this was nothing too?

Unconsciously, he shifted slightly closer to her.

She was important. He meant this.

She needed to know that.

xx

Lisbon let herself settle further into Jane's arms.

She almost never got to dance with anyone any more. She hadn't had any kind of romantic partner in years. Not the kind you got dressed up for and took you dancing at least. Things never got that serious. There were never any intentions, on either side.

The only person she'd danced with in recent memory (besides the odd dance with a fellow agent at a CBI function) was Jane. And he was just a friend. A good friend, making the dance more personal, but still.

They'd danced together before, always completely casually.

Then Lisbon felt Jane tighten his grip around her waist. And all of a sudden things were different, though she wasn't sure exactly _why. _She just, she was oddly aware of him somehow. Of his cologne, and the warmth of his hand on her back, and...

What was Jane doing?

Lisbon shook herself. She was being foolish. She and Jane were developing a lovely friendship. Better not to complicate things, even if just in her head.

Best to just enjoy the dance.

Lisbon shut her eyes.

Jane was really quite a good dancer.

He made her feel comfortable in his arms.

Maybe that was why he was the only one she ever seemed to dance with anymore.

xx

All too soon the song ended.

Lisbon pulled back slowly. Jane loosened is grip but didn't let go completely. Lisbon didn't question it. It felt nice being held, warm and safe.

The music restarting brought with it some questions though.

With the opening chords, instead of letting her go as she'd anticipated, Jane's grip on her back tightened as he angled her back towards him.

Lisbon looked up at him inquiringly.

"I really love this music," he said gently.

"Okay," Lisbon whispered, as she let him lead her back into his arms, smiling once more against his shoulder.

Jane's grip tightened even further. It was time for him to lead, and he was definitely ready to take control.

xxxxx


	11. Step 11: Consider a more direct approach

Alright, here we go, chapter 11. Hope you enjoy it. Oh, and to all of you who thought Chapter eight was hard to write, this one was actually the hard one. It is the one in which Jane and Lisbon actually talk at cross-purposes. And that was tricky to actually do.**  
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xxxxx**  
><strong>

**11. Step Eleven: Consider a more direct approach**

xxxxx

Jane admitted that he was slightly disappointed in how their evening out had ended.

Oh, it had been enjoyable. Very enjoyable, no question there. Lisbon had looked beautiful, he'd gotten to play with a room full of millionaires, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't been hoping for a little bit more.

Like maybe Lisbon falling head over heels in love with him. Would that have been too much to ask?

Even the formal wear had apparently not been enough to get Lisbon to realize he was serious about her, or to realize that he might be an excellent romantic prospect.

As the evening wound down, Jane had been considering the wisdom of a more overt gesture of some kind, until Lisbon had made a couple off-the-cuff comments about his benefits as a friend.

Jane was fairly certain that she'd referred to him as such three separate times as he drove her home.

That had rather killed his confidence.

So when he'd left her at her door, his kiss had landed on her cheek, something else Lisbon had obviously decided to take as a friendly overture. She seemed quite determined about that.

Things were getting ridiculous.

Even Lisbon realized something was up, though it was probably only subconsciously. But Jane finally admitted that he'd be waiting until doomsday for her to even admit that to herself, let alone consider doing anything about it.

Lisbon may have liked being in charge, but she also liked to avoid emotional issues like the plague.

So all morning (and actually half of the afternoon now too), Jane had been considering his options. And he'd finally come to a conclusion. It left him oddly calm. After all, if he wanted her, there was really only one thing to do.

He was going to have to bet big. Lay all his cards on the table, and hope for a winning hand.

Jane was fairly confident. Lisbon was obviously not indifferent to him, and she had to know their relationship was changing, whether she'd admit it to herself or not.

So, Jane was just going to have to risk it all, and hope to get it all in return.

He was getting sick of living in this relationship limbo. He was sick of not having what he wanted.

He was going to take charge.

It was time to throw the covert plan out the window and try the direct approach.

The very direct approach.

xx

Lisbon was cleaning her apartment.

Scrubbing, dusting, rearranging, even sorting. It was almost a compulsion. She was seriously considering finally unpacking the last few boxes, which was saying something.

But she needed something to do.

She felt restless, unsettled.

Something was wrong. No, not wrong, _different._ Ever since the evening before.

And for some reason, she couldn't stop thinking about _Jane_ of all people.

She had no idea what was going on between them. They were friends. Which was probably a bit strange in and of itself actually; their personalities were very different. He drove her crazy half the time. And he was irresponsible and dangerous and... And it didn't even matter really. Because they were friends. Maybe just because they'd been thrown together at work and each found an unexpected ally in the other. Maybe they each filled some unspoken need in the other. Lisbon didn't know. She really wasn't sure how their relationship worked right now, since it wasn't strictly professional anymore. And it hadn't been for a long time.

She didn't know what was going on. She knew that she felt comfortable in his company. Except for those times when she... didn't.

After all these years they'd somehow managed to adapt to each other's quirks. But still it felt like something was changing between them, or maybe changing again. She was trying to understand.

But she was also trying not to think about it. Trying not to confront it head on. That might upset their balance, the very delicate balance they'd achieved over the years.

But then, maybe their balance wasn't as delicate as she thought.

They'd been through a lot together. They'd managed to hold out through some terrible things. Maybe they'd hold out a little longer.

She hoped so.

She was looking for something, though she wasn't sure what. She wanted a sign that things were okay between them, though she also couldn't pinpoint anything that was _wrong._

Just _different._

Things were changing. Jane was changing.

And with Jane, it was impossible to know whether or not that was bad or good.

He'd been... watching her. And not in the usual way, not how he paid attention to everybody. She was used to the usual way. But the way he'd been looking at her in the last few weeks definitely hadn't been detached observation or even friendly affection. He'd been searching, or something. She didn't know.

But he'd been more than just attentive and sweet. And the evening before he'd been just as charming as he'd promised to be. But it wasn't only that, there'd been something else in his eyes, something behind them.

That's when it hit her.

It was his eyes.

The wall was gone, or part of it anyway. The wall Jane put up between himself and the world. It hadn't been there the night before, at all. Actually, it hadn't been there a lot of the time recently, now that Lisbon thought about it. The difference had just been particularly noticeable last night, when he'd danced with her. And when he'd walked her to her door. And...

And something inside him was shifting, realigning itself. Maybe all the time they were spending together actually _was _working, making him more likely to reassert himself in society.

He was adapting. Oh god. He was adapting, _coping_ even.

Coping enough to leave? Maybe. Lisbon had no idea, and she was terrified to bring the subject up.

Partly because it wasn't _just_ Jane.

She felt like she was changing too.

She was telling him things, trying to get close to him, fostering a friendship.

Jane knew her better than anyone else now. Not that he had much competition.

Which should have been scary. She should be panicking right now.

But she wasn't, not much anyway, not about _that_. And hey, now her apartment was really clean.

Other things should have felt strange as well. Like the fact that she'd danced with Jane for nearly half an hour last night. That should have been awkward.

Not at all awkward. Just a change.

It was all so confusing. She was confused.

Then her phone rang.

"Lisbon," she answered quickly, praying for an urgent case to act as a distraction from the rest of her life.

"Hey," she heard Jane answer.

"Hey," she said in pleasure, dropping onto her couch. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing much," he told her.

"Okay," she replied, wondering why he'd called then.

"I need to talk to you," Jane said quickly. "It's important."

Lisbon suddenly felt the bottom drop out of her stomach. Talk. Important. Those two words rarely meant anything good. "Okay. On the phone or..."

"No. In person," Jane told her.

Lisbon bit her lip. "Where?"

"Are you at home?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered, her heart racing in her chest.

"Thought so. I'll meet you there," Jane told her.

"When?" she asked.

"About thirty seconds," he admitted.

Lisbon frowned in confusion. Thirty seconds? "_What?_"

"I'm parked up the street, wanted to make sure you were in before I came up," Jane explained, sounding nervous.

Lisbon paused. This was serious. Oh god, whatever it was, it was really serious. "Well, I'm here," she repeated lamely.

"So you said," Jane said absently. Lisbon could hear him getting out of the car and walking down the street.

"See you in a minute then," she said with a nervous laugh.

"Just open your door, Lisbon," he replied with a hint of smile.

Lisbon tried very hard not to panic as she walked across the room. Just because Jane had something important to tell her, something that he was obviously nervous to talk about (hence the prowling around on her street rather than just walking up and banging on her door like he usually did), didn't mean that there would be a complete disaster. (Didn't mean he was going to leave.)

There were other explanations.

She just couldn't think of any right now.

Maybe if she reminded him of all the good he was doing, Jane might decide to stick it out at the CBI. Somehow Lisbon didn't think that particular argument would work with Jane though. His attitude towards the justice system had always been unorthodox at best.

Perhaps she should remind him that he already had his couch the way he liked it. That might be more persuasive. Plus there was the team. He _liked_ the team.

Lisbon sighed.

Well, she'd always known this day would come. (Even as she'd hoped it wouldn't.)

She should be happy he was getting his life together.

Scratch that, she _was_ happy he was getting his life together.

He was her _friend_.

And she really had always known this day would come.

She'd just always secretly hoped it wouldn't.

Lisbon answered the door to find Jane on the other still side holding a phone to his ear.

"Hi Teresa," he said, clicking it shut.

"Hi," she replied, turning her own phone off as well. "Come on in. Let's talk."

xx

Jane watched her carefully. Lisbon looked pale. She was obviously nervous, even uneasy. Did she have some idea what he was going to say and was dreading it? He hoped not. Because right now she looked like she was expecting him to lead her through a torture chamber.

"You alright?" he asked tentatively.

Lisbon shook her head. "Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" she asked. "You were the one who wanted to talk. Is something going on?"

"Yes," Jane confirmed. "And I think you know that already."

"I..." Lisbon trailed off. It was true. She couldn't deny it. No point. He'd know she was lying anyway.

"It's okay, Teresa," Jane assured her. "Everything is going to be okay."

"Yeah?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yeah," he replied.

She watched him, evaluating his face. He seemed to be telling the truth, "So what did you want to say?"

Jane took a deep breath. "Can we just sit down for a minute?" he cursed himself for the obvious stalling technique.

Lisbon didn't, "Sure."

"Okay," Jane agreed, sitting beside her on the couch.

"Oh," Lisbon said suddenly, remembering that maybe she should be playing hostess. "Do you want a drink or something?"

"No, I'm fine," Jane assured her. He really couldn't deal with too many more delays to this conversation. He was nervous enough. He just need to, you know, spit it out.

"You sure?" Lisbon double-checked.

"Positive."

"Right."

"But thank you," Jane hastened to tell her.

"Not a problem," Lisbon replied quickly.

Jane glanced around him. "Your apartment is very clean today," he observed.

Lisbon almost laughed. He would notice that. "Yeah, I guess I just... got inspired."

"Huh," Jane said, glancing at the now almost sparkling floors.

Lisbon gripped her knees. She wasn't sure how much longer she could take this. She needed him to just tell her whatever he'd come to say, rip the band-aid off. She was a big girl. She could take it. "You didn't come to talk to me about my apartment Jane."

"No, I didn't," he acknowledged.

"So then?" she prompted.

Jane watched her for another few seconds before finally trying to explain. He suddenly wished he'd come up with a speech of some kind during the fifteen minutes he'd been sitting in his car at the end of her block. "So these past few months..."

"Yeah?"

"I think they've been going pretty well," Jane told her.

"No big disasters," Lisbon replied easily, not sure what else to say.

"We've been seeing a quite a lot of each other," Jane added.

"We have," Lisbon agreed.

Jane shifted closer to her on the couch. "It's meant a lot to me."

She softened. "Me too," she whispered.

"You mean a lot to me," Jane continued, finally beginning to start circling around his point.

Lisbon's eyes widened again, "Jane..."

"You've been so lovely these past few months Teresa, longer than that actually, and I just... I don't know how to tell you..." Jane paused, searching for the best way to explain it to her.

"You don't have to thank me," Lisbon told him quickly, her heart sinking. He was about to tell her that much as she meant to him, he was leaving, that he didn't need her anymore. Jane was trying to let her down gently. She steeled herself against it, reminded herself for the umpteenth time that she'd been expecting it.

"I wasn't going to thank you," Jane countered.

"Oh," Lisbon stuttered.

"I mean, not that I'm not grateful," Jane added. "But I wasn't going to thank you. I know the last few months have been an adjustment, for both of us, and it's taken some time."

"Right," Lisbon murmured.

"Maybe I _should_ thank you," Jane mused considering. "Do you want me to thank you?"

"No, that's fine," Lisbon smirked. "I wasn't doing it to be thanked. I was doing it because, because well, I'm me and you're you."

Jane smiled back. "And your team is like family?"

"Yes," Lisbon confirmed with a nod.

"Lisbon, I don't want to be just another member of your team," he said running a hand from her shoulder down her arm.

"I think I understand," Lisbon said sadly, glancing at her knees.

Jane did a double take at her tone. All of a sudden he wasn't sure they were on the same page at all.

"No, I don't think you do," he said slowly.

Lisbon sighed, shaking her head in denial. "I've known this was inevitable for weeks."

"Well, I wouldn't say _inevitable_," Jane defended.

"_Jane..._" Lisbon objected.

"I care about you Lis... _Teresa_," he told her, realizing he was getting off track.

That made her smile, though it was painful.

He slipped his hand in hers. "I mean I really care about you, Teresa."

"_Oh," _she whispered. Then her face fell again, "I know, and sometimes things change."

"Things do change!" Jane said enthusiastically. "I've been thinking about things a lot lately, since after, well..."

"Since Red John ran his car into a pole," Lisbon supplied dryly.

"I've been thinking about my life, and the CBI, and you," Jane explained, really getting into it now. "Trying to think about what I want now."

Lisbon smiled genuinely, "That's really great Jane."

"I thought you'd approve," Jane grinned. "You always did want me to try and see beyond Red John."

Lisbon laughed mirthlessly. She had, and it was kind of ironic now.

"And anyway, you know what I saw?" Jane continued.

"A man with an outdated wardrobe and a silly car?" Lisbon guessed, trying to make a joke.

"Be nice," Jane chided her gently.

She smirked.

"No," Jane said. "I saw a woman who stuck by me through it all, even when I didn't deserve it, who was stronger than I was, far stronger than I was. Who comforted me whenever I needed it. Who made things fun again, who I like spending time with."

"Jane," Lisbon tried to interrupt.

But he cut her off. "No Teresa, let me talk. I need to say this. I saw you. Always you. Whenever you let me. I want to see you more."

"What?" Lisbon asked in confusion. This wasn't how she'd expected this conversation to go. Jane was clutching both of her hands now. Lisbon had never seen his eyes look like they did.

Jane steeled himself for the inevitable. Here it was, no more stalling. He took a deep breath. "I'm in love with you, Teresa."

xxxxx

TBC

Also, while I have your attention (hopefully), I'm writing requests for the month of December at my LJ for the holidays. Anyone who's interested in having a fic written for them head on over. Or send me a PM. You don't need to have an LJ (I don't think, anyway, PM me)

Oh, and yes **Donnamour1969**. I am occasionally a tease.


	12. Step 12: Just man up and tell her

Alright, here we go. The next chapter, which I am putting up a mere 24 hours after the previous one, in spite of my aparent cruelty (and my teasing ways). Also, can I just point out, if I was really cruel, this chapter would start with a *six months later,* and then you would all throw fruit at my head, I'm guessing. Snerk. Seriously, reviews to the last chapter made me giggle, a lot. Anyway, here it is, the first chapter written of the whole fic. Because like Jane, I really did this whole thing contrariwise. Hope you like it.

xxxxx**  
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**12. ****Step**** Twelve: ****Just ****man ****up ****and ****tell ****her**

xxxxx

"_I'm in love with you, Teresa." _

Lisbon stared at him blankly. "I'm sorry, _what?_"

"I'm in love with you," Jane repeated, the obvious shock on her face somehow settling his world right again and just like that, most of his nerves were gone. This, _this_ was his Lisbon, his Teresa. Only she would react to a declaration of love with disbelief.

Lisbon was now shaking her head violently, "No you're not," she objected.

"Yes, I am," Jane assured her, a hint of a smile hidden in the corners of his mouth.

"You're, you're really not," Lisbon said again.

Jane looked at her in consideration and decided to try a different approach. "Why?"

"Because!" Lisbon said, her voice rising in pitch and volume.

"Ah."

Lisbon glared at him, "Because it's _ridiculous._"

"Why?" Jane asked again calmly.

"Because... because you're _Jane.__" _Lisbon explained, waving her hands around frantically.

He nodded, "And you're Lisbon."

"Yes," Lisbon replied, glad to have something to agree with that she knew was true.

"Yes," Jane confirmed. "And I'm in love with you."

Lisbon shook her head. "No."

Jane tilted his head. He loved it when she was a challenge. "Why not?"

"What do you mean _why __not?_" Lisbon repeated, obviously scandalized.

"You're a lovely woman, Lisbon," Jane explained. "Why is it impossible that I've fallen in love with you?"

"I... What?" Lisbon sputtered.

Jane decided to clarify his argument for her. "I mean, how would _you_ know that I'm not in love with you?"

"_Jane..._"

"It's a valid question, Teresa," he pointed out.

"Because I..." Lisbon paused. "Because I just _know_."

"Because you're in charge of our relationship?" Jane suggested mischievously.

"What? No. Of course not. Don't be ridiculous," she ordered. "That's not what I meant."

"Right," he said sceptically.

"I _don__'__t_ think I'm in charge of our relationship," Lisbon insisted. "If anything, _you_ think that you're in charge of our relationship."

"Of course I do," Jane agreed readily. "Now tell me Teresa, whose idea was it to start going on all these outings we've been going on together lately?"

Lisbon paused to consider the question. "Well, mine. A lot of them at least. I was helping you remember what a normal life felt like."

"Exactly," Jane said cheerfully.

"Yes. Wait..." Lisbon trailed off. That first dinner _had_ been her idea, hadn't it?

"Something wrong?" Jane asked lightly.

"Nooo..."

He rubbed his thumb along her wrist. "You sure?"

"They weren't all my idea, were they?" she asked quietly.

"Maybe not _all_ of them," Jane conceded. At least one of the hiking trips he'd suggested, and last night's dinner.

"It certainly doesn't feel like it at the moment..." Lisbon whispered, feeling incredibly confused. What had Jane done now?

"Doesn't it?" Jane asked.

"Stop that!" Lisbon snapped.

"Stop what?" Jane asked again, looking as innocent as possible.

Lisbon scowled. "You know what."

"Do I?" He knew he was pressing his luck, but he couldn't help it.

"Yes. And wait... How were they my idea? I don't even... This whole thing has _you_ written all over it." Lisbon said accusingly.

Jane smirked. It'd taken her long enough. "It does, doesn't it?"

Lisbon just stared at him again. "Jane, what..."

"You were trying to help me reintegrate myself into society, remember?" Jane reminded her helpfully.

"You didn't want to spend time getting used to society again?" Lisbon asked.

"Actually I was more interested in a very specific subset of society," Jane explained. "Namely yours. I just decided to use your mother-bear tendencies to get it."

Something similar to, but not quite panic blossomed in her chest. "Jane..."

"Plus I thought you'd be much more cooperative if I managed things that way," he added truthfully.

Lisbon put a hand to her head. "So you... I..."

"Honestly, I thought you'd have figured it out _long_ before now," Jane admitted.

"Why?" Lisbon asked.

Jane shrugged. "Because you know me."

"Not why did you think I'd figure it out, you idiot!" Lisbon said, smacking him in the arm. "Why did you do it?"

Jane relaxed. That was an easy question. "Because I love you."

"Oh for crying out loud," Lisbon groaned.

"I was just pointing out that the fact that you know me makes it surprising that you didn't realize something was up," Jane explained. Then he paused, "Or maybe you just didn't want to notice."

"Shut up," Lisbon ordered. Then she paused, "Why wouldn't I want to notice?"

"I'm sure I don't know," Jane told her in a superior tone.

She growled, "You are the most arrogant..."

"Luxury of denial maybe," he suggested suddenly before she could finish her insult.

"I am _not_ in denial," Lisbon insisted.

"That's what people in denial always say, just by definition," Jane pointed out.

"I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be in denial about," Lisbon added, ignoring him. "And I _do_ know you."

"That's what I said," Jane agreed, twirling a bit of her hair around his finger.

Lisbon tried to ignore his increased proximity. "You're infuriating."

"You _like_ infuriating," he reminded her affectionately.

"I know you _really_ well," she insisted. "Maybe even better than you know yourself."

That caught his attention. "Better than I know myself?"

"Sometimes," Lisbon nodded stubbornly. "Which is how I know you're not in love with me."

"I agree," Jane said promptly.

"Good," Lisbon said firmly.

"With the first part of that, not the second," Jane clarified.

Lisbon wondered if he was trying to cause her to have a nervous breakdown of some kind. "That's because you're delusional or maybe just deluded."

"Not about this," Jane insisted. "Other things might be debatable. You're just ridiculously stubborn. But that's okay. _I_ like stubborn. You _do_ know me better than I know myself. Sometimes. That's why I love you. Well, one of the reasons at least. This is just one of those _sometimes_ that you're wrong."

"Would you stop saying that?" Lisbon said, obviously agitated.

Jane took her hand. "Saying what?

Lisbon watched him play with her fingers. "That... that..."

"That I love you?" Jane prompted helpfully, since she didn't even seem to be capable of saying the words.

"Yes!"

"No, I don't think I will. I kind of like it." It was really surprising how much easier it was to say after the first time. Well, first few times now.

"But..." Lisbon objected feebly.

Jane sighed and placed a hand against her cheek. "Why are you so determined for me not to be in love with you, Teresa," he asked her gently.

"I..." she said with a gulp.

He manoeuvred himself closer to her, his other arm snaking around her waist and rubbing circles in the small of her back. "It's okay," he promised her. "I suppose I should have probably broken this to you a bit more gently. Though I admit, I wasn't expecting it to be quite this much of a shock."

"Jane..."

"Yes dear?"

She closed her eyes. "I don't know how to deal with this."

"Why does this need to be dealt with?" he asked, sensing progress. "I'm in love with you. That seems fairly simple to me."

Lisbon sighed, "You know it's not."

"It could be," he whispered.

She shook her head sadly, "No it couldn't."

"Why not?" he asked.

"It just couldn't," she insisted.

"Well argued," he said with a grin.

She didn't even come close to returning it. Instead she buried her head in his shoulder.

And Jane realized something was really bothering her. He frowned, "It's okay Teresa. Just tell me why. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think."

"Everything always turns out to be worse than I think," came her muffled reply from his shoulder.

His arm tightened around her. "Hey! None of that. Besides, maybe you're due for an easy one."

She looked up in disbelief. "_You__'__re_ my easy one?"

He'd give her that one. "I take your point."

"Exactly," she replied.

"Although you did just imply that I am in fact yours," Jane added, determined to press his advantage.

"Jane..."

He pulled her back against him. "Why can't it be simple, Teresa?"

"I really have to spell it out for you?" she asked.

"Yes," he told her. Because he really had no idea what her objection was. Especially given that thus far she hadn't mentioned a thing about not wanting him to be in love with her.

"That's funny, because usually you're the one who knows everything without having to be told," Lisbon said dryly.

"Right now I _know_ you're stalling," Jane told her. "And we both know that I'm not letting you go until you tell me."

Which might be an incentive never to tell him, a part of Lisbon's brain thought. He'd have trouble leaving town if he was never going to let her go. Still, better to get this over with. She pulled back slightly to stare determinedly over his shoulder. "We both know that one day you're going to remember that you don't really like the law, or law enforcement. And that you don't need to be here anymore now that Red John's... dealt with. It's only a matter of time before you realize that there are a million things you could be doing right about now with your talents, things you'd probably be happier doing." She slipped away from him and wrapped her arms around herself. "You're not in love with me. You're just not used to not having a serial killer to look over your shoulder for. And I'm part of the reason for that and things probably got tangled up in your brain."

He stared at her aghast as she stood up and started to pace in front of her couch.

Lisbon closed her eyes and turned away from him. Didn't want to see his reaction.

Then she heard Jane stand up behind her. She felt his hands on her arms, still gentle. God he was gentle and warm and solid... She wrapped her arms more tightly around herself, to prevent herself from doing something stupid.

"How long have you felt this way, Teresa?" he asked, trying to see her face. His tone was quiet, but she could hear something beneath it. Something darker, anger maybe? Something he was desperately trying to control.

She bit her lip.

That gave him his answer.

"Were you ever planning on telling me about it?" Jane asked.

She shrugged. "It was easier not to," she admitted. Plus, if she'd brought it up he might have realized she was right and packed off even earlier. It was bad enough living with the fear it was going to happen any day now, no need to put the idea of leaving in his head. "And I didn't want to put any pressure on you. You were doing so well. Things were going so well." She'd liked that Jane was starting to actually adjust, move on a little. She'd liked the little outings. She'd liked that he'd enjoyed her company. As long as they were friends, it was okay. At least, that was what she'd been telling herself.

"Idiot," he muttered. "You are a complete and utter idiot."

"What?" Lisbon asked, her eyes popping open in shock.

"You heard me," Jane said, spinning her around quickly. "And if you think I spent the better part of three months carefully crafting and executing a scheme to get you to court me, only to let you throw me over at the last minute, you've got another thing coming missy."

"_What?_" Lisbon asked again.

Jane's eyes were dark, his pupils dilated with a combination of emotions, and his expression far more forceful than she was used to with Jane (though this whole conversation wasn't what she was used to). "All those outings that don't quite feel like they were your idea? Well, some of them definitely were, and you know it. But there's a reason the whole thing feels like I had something to do with it."

Lisbon was desperately trying to follow what he was saying. "You planned for me to..."

"Well, I figured you were so stubborn that if I just asked you out to dinner like a normal person maybe it wouldn't go so well," Jane explained. "You might not have agreed to it, and you definitely wouldn't have thought I was serious. But then all of a sudden I got sick of the conceit of it all. Even I believe that some things should be simple, Teresa. This is one of them. And I just needed to tell you I loved you. Which is, admittedly, not going ideally either, seeing as you refuse to believe me. But if you think that I'm giving up on nearly three months of work you can think again."

"Three months..." she whispered.

"That's right Teresa, three months," he growled, yanking her towards him. "Add that to the better part of six before that where you kept me sane-ish. It's been almost nine months since Red John's death. How long do you need before you realize that I'm still here?"

She stared at him. "I... I don't know."

He dropped his forehead against her temple. "We'll work on that," he promised her.

"What?" she breathed out.

"I'm not leaving," Jane repeated. "Eventually even _you_ will have to see that."

"Hey!" she objected half-heartedly.

"Just let yourself consider the possibility, Lisbon," he whispered coaxingly in her ear. "Just try. For me."

Lisbon sighed, her brain completely overloaded. Wanting to believe him, terrified to believe him, angry at him for doing this to her. "Jane, I... I don't know."

"Well, I do," he told her. "Why are you waiting for the other shoe to drop? Why couldn't this just be good? Why can't I just be in love with you and so as a result not want to leave your general proximity?"

"That hasn't been my experience," she said before she could stop herself.

Jane took a breath to release some of his frustration, reminding himself that this probably wasn't just about him. Lisbon had a truckload of relationship issues of her own. Not that he could blame her. She wasn't exactly used to stability. He drew her even closer to him, surprised when she let him. He suspected it was the shock. "I will," he told her again, placing a kiss against her hair. "I'll stay."

"But you're leaving..." Lisbon insisted. "You threaten to half the time anyway. You've done it before. You're leaving..."

"Idle threats, each and every time," Jane told her. "I always came back within 24 hours. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying, with you."

Lisbon nodded, then she tensed and Jane felt her punch his arm, repeatedly. "How could you do this to me?" she hissed. "You planned this. You manipulated me. You... you _asshole!_ You schemed and you organized and you used the fact that _you__ knew_ that I'd help you, that I... But you didn't _tell_ me anything. You didn't tell me that you were thinking of staying on at the CBI. You didn't tell me that you wanted this to be permanent. You just conned me into helping you find some kind of a life, get emotionally attached, go in blind, and you didn't tell me anything. And you knew what your intentions were from the beginning. You bastard. You had this all planned out and you didn't... you didn't..."

Lisbon was grasping at straws. It was one of the constants in her life, that Jane was emotionally unavailable and unstable. He was not a safe bet for any kind of relationship. She'd been telling herself that for years. It was one of the things she _knew_. And now he was asking her to, to, to rethink that one thing.

Jane felt like someone had thrust a knife in his chest. She sounded near tears. He needed to convince her, _now._ Because he wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. He gathered her up in his arms again, this time his lips fell below her ear and he heard her stifled gasp. Jane briefly considered seducing her; he was sure he could. But then they'd just be left with the same issues, her same uncertainty in the morning. "I told you I care about you, love," he reminded her instead. "I told you more than once. I made sure you knew how much I enjoyed your company, and I did my best to make sure you were happy too. Leaving hasn't even crossed my mind. If I'd known it had crossed yours I'd have dissuaded you of the notion ages ago, or at least tried to. I had no idea, Teresa. I really had no idea. And now that I do, we'll just have to convince you otherwise."

"Jane..."

"Hush," he whispered soothingly. "I'm as stubborn as you are; you know that."

She choked back a sob. "I..."

"I told you, I'm not giving up that easily," he reminded her.

"_You__'__re_ not..." Lisbon repeated, her irritation with him surfacing again. Like he got all the say in what happened. Because his plan had been so wonderful and worked _so __well_. "_Jane..._"

"Hush, Teresa," he said again. "I told you, I've already put too much effort into this."

"And my opinion is what, irrelevant then?" she nearly snapped, stepping away from him.

"Not for such a silly reason. If you don't want to have a relationship with me then that's fine, nothing much I can do about that. But I think you do, so I'm not letting this silliness stop me. I can be horribly strong-willed when I want to. Stubborn, proud, tenacious, cunning." Jane's grin turned purposeful. He had an idea. A strange idea, but why not? He'd done the whole thing contrariwise anyway.

"What?" Lisbon demanded when he didn't continue.

"In fact, I'm a bit of a manipulative bastard. You're right," Jane agreed. "You should call me names. Call me more. I deserve it."

That threw her. She hadn't been expecting him to say that. "Huh?"

"And I know you think manipulation comes easily to me, and okay it does," Jane conceded. "But that doesn't mean there's no _effort_ behind it. I'm not going to stop manipulating you. And I'm horribly selfish. _And_ I cause you nothing but professional headaches. I heard Hightower say once that you'd probably have been promoted long ago if I wasn't on your team."

"But I don't _want..._"Lisbon tried to explain, finally looking at him again.

"Really, I probably cause you nothing _but_ problems," Jane said cheerfully. "Me being in love with you is just another one. Practically by your own admission. And like I said, selfish. I'm going to dog your steps for the rest of your life, Teresa. You're never going to get rid of me. You think I don't know that I need you? You think that I don't know you're probably the only thing that's kept me alive all this time? No way am I going to give _that_ up. I'm far too self-serving. You're going to spend the rest of your days worrying what I'm doing, and trying to stop me from getting shot, or worse. I'll invade your office when you least expect it, poke into your business, tease you, all sorts of things. Everywhere you turn around I'll be camped out on a couch nearby. What was it our last local liaison called me? A whirlwind of chaos? Actually, you're right. This is not good for you at all. Certainly nothing for you to look forward to. In fact, it'll be utterly and completely horrible."

"Horrible..." she whispered. Oh god, he was right. Being in a relationship with Jane could end up being a logistical nightmare. She held onto her secrets with two fists while Jane did nothing but pry. Neither of them had been in any kind of successful relationship in longer than she cared to remember. She'd have to balance work and her personal life somehow, which would be different from her usual method of just simply not having a personal life. And she'd really be stuck in the middle of everyone then. Even more so than she was now. Of course, she and Jane already had a pretty close working relationship, so that might not be that hard. And he had been generally trying to work _with _her instead of against her for years now.

Maybe if they just talked and outlined a few ground rules...

It'd be a zoo alright, but again, she was used to that. Having the promise of Jane's so-called whirlwind of chaos constantly blowing around her was almost comforting. Unconsciously Lisbon unwrapped her arms from around herself and shifted towards him. "Horrible," she murmured again hopefully.

"Truly terrible, Teresa," Jane murmured into her ear.

"_Oh_," she sighed, sliding her arms around him incrementally. _Oh._ If he was really planning on spending the indefinite future causing chaos all around her, _if_ he was really planning on sticking around to stir things up, tax her considerable diplomacy, make things difficult, complicated, tricky, _fun_... Oh... Oh...

_Yes._

The never-ending stacks of paperwork. The coffee breaks. The crazy schemes. The late nights curled up in her office together... (She _liked_ it when he camped out on her couch.)

"Mmhm," Jane agreed encouraged by the thread of pleasure he could hear humming in the back of her throat and nuzzling her neck in an attempt to hear it again. "In fact," his voice rumbled against her skin, "I'll probably be somehow upsetting our next case, whenever it is. You'll definitely get an irate call from a DA or two sometime next week. Then I'll probably insult a reporter, and one of the local cops. This is going to be your life. Forever. Until one of us dies."

"_Dies?__"_ she repeated dazed, desperately trying to rein in her overactive imagination from filling in the blanks of how a day-to-day relationship with Jane would work (them working together, spending their free time together, him making her laugh, her making sure he didn't end up dead). She really should stop her foolish daydreams, to avoid the disappointment when reality came crashing in. (Did he really want to spend his whole life beside her?) The silver-tongued devil was making practicality difficult with his descriptions.

It was hard to believe the worst when he was making certain disaster sound so appealing.

"Mmhm," Jane confirmed again in her ear as her fingers tightened against his jacket. "Me popping in and out of your office without warning. Pestering you. Bringing you coffee. Dragging you out for lunch. Showing up at your apartment at all hours. Insisting on not letting you spend your evenings on your couch or at work. I'll be tricking you into letting me take you out to dinner, or maybe to the theatre."

"The theatre?" Lisbon repeated. She could see it. Oh she could see it all. Evenings out, having a personal life, with someone who understood what her job meant to her and what it demanded. Oh god the idea felt good. Which was bad. _Really__ bad._

"Mmhm," Jane agreed. "I haven't planned it all out yet, but there's definitely going to be any number of formal events. Because I'm going to spend most the evenings we have off dragging you out looking unbelievably beautiful. I expect that dress of yours is going to have to figure prominently."

"Dress?" And if she was wearing a dress, did that mean he'd be wearing a suit? The dark one again? Sans tie?

"The green one," Jane explained. "The one you wore last night. I like that one. Very, very much."

"Oh," the idea that Jane had noticed her in the dress, made a specific note of the dress was doing things to her that she wasn't expecting, unleashing long-repressed... impulses.

"Though if you have any others, you're welcome to wear them as well from time to time," Jane assured her. "I'm sure they're lovely too." Particularly if they fell above the knee, he added mentally.

"That's very generous of you," Lisbon whispered against his neck, surprised when he gasped softly, so softly she almost didn't catch it. Her lips curved up into a smile. Impulsively, she brushed her lips against the skin just below his ear.

Now she felt _his_ hands tighten in _her_ jacket. "Plus I have no concept of personal space, as you know. I'll probably be attempting to touch you when you least expect it. And it'll be difficult not to want to kiss you all the time, and at inappropriate moments too. I'm afraid I'm genuinely going to be quite troublesome. You'll probably have to be very firm with me, Teresa."

Oh, she _knew_ that. She'd always known _that._ She didn't mind Jane being troublesome. If she didn't have someone to fuss over she wouldn't know what to do with herself. "I can be just as stubborn as you can."

"I know," he said, not sure where she was going with her train of thought.

"Good."

"Okay."

She snuggled closer. "Did you really come up with a plan to get me to invite you to things?" she asked hopefully.

His hand moved up to toy with her hair, sensing victory. "Think back on the last three months."

"Idiot," she insulted, this time happily.

"Hey!" Jane objected. "It's not my fault you haven't been a particularly cooperative romantic pursuer, Teresa."

"I didn't know I was _supposed_ to be the romantic pursuer," she reminded him.

"Now you do," Jane told her. "Although, technically I think that by tricking you into being the romantic pursuer, I was also the romantic pursuer, in a way."

She chuckled. "So we were both the romantic pursuers?" she asked, tracing her hand over his back, thrilled at the idea that she _could._ She could. He wanted her to.

"And _you_ weren't even aware of it. I'm hurt."

"You sound absolutely devastated," Lisbon agreed, her tone indulgent.

"I am," Jane nodded.

"This is going to be an absolute disaster," she murmured.

"That's what I keep telling you!" Jane said cheerfully. "And... What did you say?"

"This is going to be an absolute disaster," Lisbon repeated. "And it's going to be bad enough without you trying to manipulate me into somehow taking the lead all the time, so if you could stop, I'd appreciate it."

"I told you I was done with that," Jane exclaimed indignantly. "I decided I didn't want you to get all the credit for this when it was clearly all my idea."

"Oh, it was all your idea was it?" she demanded.

"Well... yes," Jane confirmed. "You certainly weren't going to do anything about it."

"Oh, no. I was just the one who actually dragged you out of your bedroom or that damn attic for the first few months after Red John, let alone kept you alive all these years," Lisbon said sarcastically.

"And I'm not saying that your contribution wasn't helpful..." Jane agreed.

"Shut up Jane," Lisbon ordered, the familiar irritation calming her even further.

"Aren't you ever going to call me Patrick?" he pouted.

"Why should I?" she asked, teasing.

He took a firmer hold. "Because you said _is_," he growled into her ear.

"When?" Lisbon asked arching against him in anticipation.

"Before," Jane told her. He couldn't remember exactly when. He didn't care exactly when. "You agreed with me. You said that this _is_ going to be an absolute disaster."

"It _is_. We definitely agree on that," she told him, feeling her smile widen slightly.

"I..." he turned to stare at her. "What?"

Her grin blossomed into a full-blown smile. "You really are impossibly slow sometimes."

"Teresa..." he murmured, his hands moving to her hips, as he nuzzled her neck, placing open-mouthed kisses along her collar bone.

She slid her arms around his shoulders, sighing in pleasure.

"I've wanted to do this for weeks, Teresa," he murmured. "Do you have any idea what you did to me when you took me hiking in those shorts of yours? I could barely tear my eyes away. Had to make sure we went again because I couldn't get enough of them."

Lisbon stifled a gasp. He had been staring at her in the shorts. The strange looks, the flushed face, god he'd been aroused. The realization hit her like a thunderbolt. He _wanted_ her. It was like a wall crumbled away. This wasn't a game. Jane was attracted to her. _Oh__ god._She remembered him in the jeans, and in the suit, grinning a her and looking dashing and... Lisbon felt her own arousal break free from the place she'd buried it. She let out a little cry, then she threw herself at him. Desperately needing to touch.

Jane caught her willingly. He'd meant to be gentle, slow, _romantic_. He really had. He understood that she was nervous about this, that part of her didn't quite believe him. That he should take his time.

But any notions of gentleness disappeared when he felt her insistent mouth under his own, confirming that she wanted him back. Really wanted him. This wasn't him being pretty sure and blustering his way through on a hunch or bravado anymore. This was Teresa Lisbon actually kissing him like her life depended on it.

She wanted him. Oh God she actually, really, truly, wanted him. (And her hands were positively _tangled _in his hair.)

Suddenly he felt his hands streaking up along the sides of her body to the back of her neck as he eased her back slightly.

When she broke away with a gasp only seconds later, he took the opportunity to trail kisses down that same neck again, triumphant when he heard her moan.

"Patrick..."

"Again," he ordered, barely recognizing his own voice.

To his shock she complied. "_Patrick...__" _he heard her murmur as she began trailing her hands up and down his back, tracing patterns only she knew against his shoulder blades.

He wanted to learn them though. He wanted to learn all her patterns. He wanted to learn everything about her, take her apart and put her back together again. He wanted to learn the exact spot on her neck that would make her gasp. Wanted to know if she had a ticklish spot. Wanted so very much actually.

He slid a hand down to the small of her back and pulled her roughly towards him, forcing her to stumble against him.

That earned him a warning, though not the one he was expecting.

"Patrick," she growled low in her throat, just before she nipped at his ear.

He bared his teeth against her neck and resisted the urge to mark her. At least not somewhere quite so visible. _That_ she probably wouldn't like.

He settled for nibbling his way lightly along the line of her chin.

"Patrick," she whispered, rolling the name on her tongue, obviously getting used to it, and _liking_ that she was getting used to it.

He nuzzled his way back up to her lips.

"Patrick," she said again, this time in wonder, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

He paused to swirl his tongue around her pulse point.

He felt her hands tighten on his hips. "Patrick," she whimpered.

This time his kiss really was slow and gentle.

He felt her sigh against him.

Oh god. This was intoxicating. Jane could feel every corner of her mouth, her rapid heartbeat, her chest moving against his, her hips pushed as far against him as possible, her hands un-tucking his shirt.

He pulled back softly, unable to resist a groan of disappointment and waited for her to open her eyes.

When she did he saw confusion in them.

"Hi," he whispered.

She blinked at him. "Hi."

He grinned. "Do you want to go get some dinner?"

"_What?__"_ she asked. It hadn't been the question she'd been expecting.

"Dinner?" Jane repeated. "I'm starving."

He saw the confusion growing in her eyes. "But..."

"There's a great little Greek restaurant not far from here," he added.

"Okay," Lisbon agreed. "Umm, just let me grab my stuff."

"Take your time," he told her.

She slipped away from him and wandered over to her closet. He watched her bustle around her apartment awkwardly, refusing to meet his eyes.

"I need you to be sure, Teresa," he told her suddenly. "I need to be sure you know I'm not going anywhere. Because once I get you, I'm not going to let you go." He was pretty sure he wasn't going to let her go either way, but that just sounded creepy.

She sighed. She hated to admit it, but he was right. "I... I think I need some time to get used to this."

"We both do," Jane told her.

"Okay," she repeated as she went back to searching for her coat. She'd obviously put it somewhere that she'd thought was sensible when she was cleaning her apartment, and now she had no idea where it was.

Her feelings for him had probably been developing for months now, if not years. Lisbon just hadn't acknowledged them, called them friendship, told herself it was because he was on her team and that made them family. She'd certainly never felt about Cho or Rigsby the way she felt about Jane. And then they'd gotten closer over the past few months, and she'd grown even more attached. She knew she had. And he'd just shattered her convenient little barrier of friendship. She really needed some time to adjust.

She turned towards him shyly, smiling up at him.

Jane smiled back, holding the door open for her.

As she walked past him, Lisbon had to admit that the adjustment period might be fun too.

Suddenly she turned, and grabbed his wrist.

Jane looked at her questioningly.

She didn't meet his eyes.

"I wasn't going to let you go without a fight," she admitted. "I was going to try and convince you to stay."

Heart suddenly racing again, Jane slid his hand along her forearm up to her elbow. "I love you, Teresa."

"Oh," she sighed, letting her forehead fall against his shoulder.

He grinned, feeling her answering smile against his jacket. "Well, I guess that's better than an immediate denial."

He heard her sigh, "Jane..."

"Shhh," he shushed her. "I know, Teresa. Believe me, _I_know. Think of how I felt when Madeleine asked me if I ever considered dating again, and then you walked into the room and I realized that the only person I wanted to date was _you_."

Lisbon considered that. Then she laughed. "Take me out to dinner, Patrick."

"Was that a request or an order?" he wondered.

"Well, I figured since apparently I've been the one in charge all along..." she said, trailing off.

"_You_ weren't in charge all along!" Jane objected indignantly. "That was the _point!_"

"Mmhm," Lisbon said, sauntering out the door.

"It was!" Jane insisted.

"Come along, Patrick," she told him, as she walked down the hall, knowing he would follow.

He did, protesting all the way.

xxxxx

TBC

There's only the epilogue left now. And I warn you, it's short.


	13. Epilogue

A/N: Alright, here it is, the end I'm sorry to say. Hope everyone likes how things get tied up. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. No current plans for a sequel, but I suppose you never know.

xxxxx**  
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**Epilogue:**

xxxxx

Lisbon half ran up the stairs into Jane's apartment building. His _new_ apartment building. In Sacramento. That he'd only gotten a month or so ago.

But that wasn't important right now.

Right now she needed to talk to him about something else.

She waited impatiently for the elevator and then practically vibrated the entire ride up to Jane's floor.

He opened the door promptly when she knocked.

"Hi!" she said with a smile.

"Hi," he replied, letting her into the apartment. "Were we doing something today?" he asked.

"No," Lisbon told him. "But I need to talk to you."

"Okay," Jane told her. "Let's talk."

"Crazy for You's coming to town," she told him. "An off-Broadway production. Will you go with me?" she asked.

He laughed at her excitement. "Of course," he promised her. "I had no idea you were such a fan of Gershwin."

"I saw the show years ago," she told him. "A college performance, and I loved it."

"Well what do you know?" Jane asked. "Tough and terrible Teresa Lisbon likes musical theatre. I'm shocked."

She rolled her eyes. "No, you're not."

"No, I'm not. And of course I'll go with you, dear," he added, slipping an arm around her waist.

She smiled up at him. "I knew you would," she said softly.

"When is it?" Jane asked. "Got to make sure to keep the date free."

"Mid-September," Lisbon told him.

Jane stared at her. "Lisbon, that's almost six months from now! Do we really need to plan this now? I think I'll be able to fit you in."

"I know," she said breathlessly. "I _know_ it's six months from now, and I _know_ you'll go with me."

The realization hit Jane like a thunderbolt. "Oh Teresa," he whispered. "Teresa, darling."

She laughed happily, "I've gotten used to it, Patrick," she told him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

His lips were on hers almost before she'd finished speaking. She settled against him happily.

"I love you," she whispered.

Jane stared at her for a minute, then he kissed her. Lisbon could feel the emotion behind it, more importantly she trusted it to be there.

"You're stuck with me now," she murmured, breaking away.

"Good," Jane said firmly, recapturing her mouth. He felt her hands slide into his hair, as they so often did.

"I have to say," he added, a few seconds later. "I don't think I've ever been so happy to be going go to the theatre."

"In six months," Lisbon added with a grin.

"In six months," he agreed.

"I'm glad I thought of it then," Lisbon said cheerfully.

"You do look very satisfied with yourself, dear," Jane told her, running a hand up and down her back.

Lisbon grinned wickedly. "And why shouldn't I be? Since I've always been the one in charge of planning things in this relationship..."

"Teresa," Jane warned.

"What?" she asked innocently. "You _wanted_ me to plan things. I'm just continuing the pattern," she told him. "Someone needs to take charge."

"I'll show you taking charge," Jane growled, cutting off her laughter with another kiss.

Lisbon didn't mind. This argument would last a little while. At least she hoped so.

He'd promised to bother and irritate her for the rest of her life, and she was going to hold him to it.

xxxxx

The End

P.S. I am still taking requests for December. I'm again going to direct people to my LJ if they're interested. But if you don't want to go read the post and you want to request, that's fine. PM me. I need a couple of things from you. One, a tentative date; the idea is that I'll write/post a fic a day. Some days are already taken. If you request a day that's taken I'll suggest another. Two, a prompt (hopefully/possibly something that could act as a title. I'm not being really strict about this AT ALL, but something to keep in mind). And three, I'm going to be writing 31 of these things. That means that unfortunately they can't be novels. There is a minimum length of 300 words; however, I am REALLY not holding myself to that (I'm really, really not). Knowing how I write, many of them will be longer, but please try to keep your prompt something that could at least *theoretically* be filled in 500 words. (Then it will be a pleasant surprise when your fic is longer, yes?) And I reserve the right to decline any requests. There are some thigns I don't write (eg. mature fic). But yeah, if you're interested, get in touch. Hope everyone has a good weekend!


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